stalest joke competiition

[bassotronics]

lol

[trinigamer]

Tiger Woods. Brilliant putter, not such a great driver.



Apparently Phil Mickelson has been on the phone to Tiger's wife Elin. He was looking for some tips on how to beat him.



Tiger Woods has been dropped by Gillette after admitting this incident was his closest shave ever.



Elin thought she was marrying a tiger, but has now learned he's really a cheetah.



Elin can't really complain, she must have realised that golfers are always playing a round.



Tiger's been dropped from the US Ryder Cup team as his terrible record at being beaten by the Europeans continues.



New DVD: 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant'



Q: What course gives Tiger the most trouble?

A: Intercourse.


Not looking good for Gillette.

First was Thierry Henry's handball, now Tiger Woods is all over the papers for the wrong reasons.

Roger Federer must be a worried man!



Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.



Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.



So Tiger Woods has hit a fire hydrant and then a tree. Big deal, I do that every time I play golf.


I brought the new Tiger Woods PGA game for my computer the other day and was very disappointed - it keeps crashing!


Q: What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning?

A: They were out clubbing.

[sMASH]

ba dum bum... ching ^^

[sharkman121]

ONE DAY I WAS WALKING ON THE BEACH WITH SOME FRIENDS WHEN SOMEONE SHOUTED...."LOOK AT THAT DEAD BIRD"

SOMEONE LOOKED UP AT THE SKY AND SAID "WHERE"

(true story)

[biggy82]

trinigamer, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

take win

[hong kong phooey]

Best Comeback Line Ever

Police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22-year-old white male, in a pumpkin patch, at 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.

On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a heavy drinking session when he decided to stop. 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around,' he stated in a telephone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.' Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence . I said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin? '

'He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said...

"A pumpkin? sheit ..... is it midnight already?"'

This was in the Washington Post...the title of the article was 'Best Come Back Line Ever.'

[sharkman121]

^^

[Toyopet]

Dear Child,

I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home.

Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.

Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.

They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.

Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.

Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.

[sharkman121]

idiots...they really have them out there yes.

[solidust]

1.wat one hops tell d other

well later nah breds..................


2. wat one wall tell the other

well we go meet up by the corner..............allyuh say stale

[Vat19]

why didn't the chicken cross the road?









Because he was CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!

[triniangie]

1 for the guys

how is a piece of burnt bread and a pissed of x girlfriend similar?






u shud hav pulled out 5 sec earlier

[bunny666]

Behind a billboard on a highway a police officer was clocking the cars that go by. Later on at about the end of his shift this drop dead gorgeous blonde went zooming by at about 110 Mph. So he pursued her and pulled her over about a mile down the road. He went to the car and asked for her drivers license and she said ' drivers license whats that?' he said thats usually in your purse and it has your picture on it. She said Ok she looked and found it then gave it to him. Than he asked for her registration and she said ' registration, whats that?' He said that it was the paper that is usually kept in your glove compartment and it proves that you own the car. She said Ok and looked and she found it and gave it to him. He said ok just wait here and he went back to his car and radioed the information in to the dispatch and the dispatcher says: wo wo wo wo wo, Is that like a drop dead gorgeous blonde? The cop says yes. The dispatcher asks if she is like dumb as a door nail? The cop says ya why? He says ok this is what you have to do, you have to go back to her car and just drop your pants, The cop says WHAT??? The dispatcher says trust me just do it. The cop says ok your the boss. So he goes and drops his pants and the blonde says oh no, not another breathalizer test.

[axe]

MG Man always admiring this stud who always on the beach with women all around him, so one day he got the courage to approach him...

"Am how come you always have so much women all around you? What is your secret? Please please tell me!"

The man watch him head to toe and thought to himself: This guy could do with all the help he can get. So he told him:

"Take the largest potato you can get and put it in your bathing trunks, women will be all over you!"

So Kev.. ah mean MG Man thanked him and proceeded to use his advice the next day he was on the beach. Some time later the stud was on the beach with a set of women as usual when they started scattering looking disgusted...and MG man appeared looking confused.

"Hey man I took your advice and put the largest lumpiest potato I could find in my trunks and now woman running away from me instead! What's up with that?!!"

Well the beach stud look him up and down again and replied:

"Next time put the potato in the front of your trunks"

[MG Man]

axe, if is ah bull yuh wah, yuh jess hadda ask yuhknow

[axe]

[triniangie]

axe, if is ah bull yuh wah, yuh jess hadda ask yuhknow

WIN!

[axe]

[axe]

kev you really have your fans yes....they really got your back (but you gotta admit that was a good joke!)

am soundwave get real

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

http://forums.trinituner.com/forums/vie ... p?t=287091

[MG Man]

kev you really have your fans yes....they really got your back (but you gotta admit that was a good joke!)

am soundwave get real

you dare disrespect Teh Mighty Soundwave?
may the sands of the Sahara swirl in yuor underpants
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits

[MG Man]

anyways........
Axe was doing some missionary work in the Iraqi...trying to convert heathens and such
with the lack of qualioty pumpum in the region, our hero inquired to his peers how might one satisfy his pumpumish urgesThey pointed to the ratty old camel in the back
Axeolal was like WTF...begone ye HEATHENS..may the Lord Almighty smite the devel out of youse....and such
two weeks later, almost blind with chronic pumpumitis, our boy finally bit the bullet and went to the camel.
The camp looked on as Alv...uh...Axe levelled nuff jackrabbit jook on the camelpum, and even did a camelbuttfuckraid, just to show the locals how it's done
Now sweaty and satisfied, our hero looked to the locals and asked...is that how you boys do it?
Akbar shaked his head and said no preacherman, we ride the camel to the ho hose down in the valley......

[axe]

ok ok lemme dig deeper in meh repertoire ...

[axe]

Well MG Man (from now on jus MG) was 16 he told his fadder he want to get a woman. His father say boy you mad you have to go and see madamme corn husk first (cause that's their tradition)

when they reach she look at him and thought nah boy this fella hopeless...so she tell him first practice on trees with holes in them for 6 months then if you still want a woman then you will get one...

So of went MG and his dad, and MG did as he was told.
After 6 months he came back to his father and said he want a woman now!....his father said ok I have a $20 lewwe go by RichGold in Chase Village.

So they went by Rich Gold and pay the $20 and get back their $15 change and MG went in with a rell mampy.

Well the mampy take off she clothes and spread and waiting for MG ...and he went on all fours put his face between her legs and.......................................................began to blow feverishly and keep peeping inside

the mampy get and say "You is ah a$$ or wat....wat the hell yuh doin?!!!!"

MG look at she and answer "Yuh think me stupid???? me look for bees!!"







(remember is stale joke thread eh)

[axe]

yeah but after MG man finish with the woodpecker mouth it turn to ah common fowl...lol

i await his reply

[Chimera]

I think the original was tarzan...and he kick jane in the crotch to make sure she didnt have bees

[sMASH]

^^ah 'man' kno historee

[QG]