dealing with death

[SunMoon]

Hi,

Have anyone had to deal with the death of the child, and how did you did with it to recover.

[hyperdude]

with time all pain tends to go away
untill something reminds you
but there is no remedy for d death of a child
it's actually a parent's worst nightmare...

[hustla_ambition101]

go see a shrink

[Kenjo]

Does your work have an employee assistance programme ? Otherwise you need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist. Check your local health centre and possibly they can refer you,check the phone book also

[TiidaBanton]

It would take time but the best advice is to surround urself with loving people who understand what u are dealing with. DO NOT go into withdrawal that makes it worst as your mind has nothing to focus on but the pain. Keep positive listen to some joel osteen sermons and keep your mind occupied.

[shogun]

There's no shame in getting professional counseling to help get you through the grief SunMoon.

[urabus]

One of my cousins passed away just before turning twenty, he was an only child for my aunt and uncle.

It can really send u mad, especially if u r the mummy. The dad's always try to pretend and put up a strong front, but they too grieve inside tremendously.

I saw my aunt isolated herself, from family, friends and even her job. But this is where the parents would need the most support from other family members. Therapy may help, but time would never heal. I know of some very old people who still grieve for their children, who would have died some twenty plus years.

Prayers help.

Also when you are capable, visit those homes with children and maybe spend some time, make some food, books, toys donation etc.

Do not stay by yourself, you would cry and cry and question God and you will never be able to find an answer, thus making yourself sick.

[ruffrider27]

Lost my 10 year old sister in 1997 from cancer . still hurts and missing her , then lost my dad last month ,i was away dealing with some business ,had to come back trini and i don't even feel to go back to continue ,in the space of 3 weeks i lost 17 pounds real sadness this time in my life .

[1UZFE]

Lost my best friend 1st of June this year.
Big man cry like a baby. Prayers is d only way also as posted before surround oneself with friends and love ones. Remember time heals wounds.

[bluefete]

Prayers and time. But the pain never truly goes away.

Talk to others who have similar experiences.

Most importantly, grieve. Cry and scream if you must. But grieve. It is an important part of the healing process.

Parents never expect to bury their child. I have a funeral to go to soon with a similar situation. It is tremendously difficult.

In my own family, one of my cousins died at 16 from falling out of a mango tree. Broke his neck. A couple years later, God gave them another son.

[Halfbreed07]

You can really tell who has experienced life and who hasn't from this thread boy.
OP time will ease the pain, but it will never go away totally, don't be naive and think it will. Have a good exhausting cry and get the emotional chemicals out of your brain. At least that has helped me.

[Halfbreed07]

Prayers and time. But the pain never truly goes away.

Talk to others who have similar experiences.

Most importantly, grieve. Cry and scream if you must. But grieve. It is an important part of the healing process.

Parents never expect to bury their child. I have a funeral to go to soon with a similar situation. It is tremendously difficult.

In my own family, one of my cousins died at 16 from falling out of a mango tree. Broke his neck. A couple years later, God gave them another son.

Yea that's actually spot on.

[AutoSport]

Interesting points, except for the clowns who must make asses of themselves at every opportunity.

First serious question, when did we all find out that we all shall eventually die?

And what was the assurance that it would be in a nice way as opposed to a tragic experience.
Or who would die first the older person, or the younger person. And being a single child earns no special dispensation.

Once there is the acceptance that anyone can die at any time, why not start to prepare yourself. Simply by saying thanks for being here, for the time spent together, for all the experiences, good, bad or in between.

If this is done on a daily basis then accepting the fact of the inevitable would not be as traumatic as some bring to themselves.

Of course all of the standard suggestions of prayers, time will heal, and the gratitude for the time spent together must eventually make the transition that much more easier to accept.

[ztune]

Say alot of prayers for the child along with charity work in the child's name. Don't put a price to it just make sure it's something and then don't talk or boast about it after as it decreases the blessing.

Remember also, it was written for the child to be taken and taken for some reason, maybe a consoling reason that he or she may have been saved from something while here as earth is not the final place of a bed of roses or heaven, it's a place where we are tested and then moved on. The child probably didn't have to take this test. God knows best.

Understand,believe and accept it's God's work that he created the child and took the child back. Sometimes these things happen so as to get your attention turned to your Lord and maybe it's a test for the affected parties. So I strongly suggest you don't follow the ridiculous comments posted above in terms of using a rope, drinking and cutting yourself.

tr1ad on the forum once told me a little humble goes a long way and it does. So don't do anything stupid if the child died by the hands of someone.

Death comes to us all at any point in time. Whatever religion you may be of or not, just make sure your'e ready to meet your maker with your good and bad deeds.

[westsidestarz]

The crazy thing is, a lot of people judging this person, when truly, all he/she is doing is seeking help. Look at how society really is, the person asking for help, they make stupid, immature comments criticizing the person's request for help.
If this person had attempted suicide, they then say that the person had so many options for help

For a man/woman to come on this site and ask for help, take it seriously, everyone's mindset is made up differently, but cut each one of us and it's the same red blood, please don't say things that you wouldn't like if they were said unto you and yours.

[S_2NR]

Lost my 10 year old sister in 1997 from cancer . still hurts and missing her , then lost my dad last month ,i was away dealing with some business ,had to come back trini and i don't even feel to go back to continue ,in the space of 3 weeks i lost 17 pounds real sadness this time in my life .

Dam. Sorry to hear that bro.

Keep up the good fight though. Everybody have something they dealing with. Regardless of how perfect everything look on the outside.
You only know how strong you are when being strong is the only choice you have.

@skylinechild, hush yu mc. I hope they ban yu for a good month for that

[S_2NR]

Luckily, no one in my family died since I was born so I never had to go to a funeral of a family member. Have no idea how it feels and don't think I want to know

[hustla_ambition101]

Luckily, no one in my family died since I was born so I never had to go to a funeral of a family member. Have no idea how it feels and don't think I want to know

[Rainman]

I could never imagine losing my child, especially if it's something that could have been avoided. All these accidental child deaths have me sufficiently paranoid as well. OP, surround yourself with friends and family, pray to whichever God you choose and try to pick up the pieces. The show must go on....even if it takes a while.

Nareshseep, I know you recently suffered a loss, so i'm a bit confused at your post.

[-Roach-]

Reading some comments here... Really sad to hear guys... Ive lost my great grandmother, grandmother (to old age) and that was hard to deal with... Imagine for my own child... I would definitely consider some professional counseling...

[ztune]

Thread is an eye opener. This morning, I visited the graves of my recently lost uncle and other family members.

[urabus]

Dont know which one is worse, knowing that person you love so dearly is going to die within a matter of weeks/months when you know they have been diagnosed with some terrible disease (like with late stage cancer) or waking up to a call saying the person was in an accident and died???

There is also the reverse to what the OP asked, as I know of cases, where both parents have died leaving behind kids, yes kids who are under the age of 10.

[nareshseep]

OP it have nobody here that csn say anything to help you go through what you are going through. What I will say though is to take one day at a time. Only time can heal you and this will make you stronger.

[Redman]

My elder brother died in the crib-swallowed a screw from the crib while I was in the womb.

40 years later I still see the sadness in my moms eyes and when we talk about it.
She remembers it like yesterday and remembers all the muffler bearing treatment some people metted out.
Coincidentally we spoke about it yesterday-she uses his bday as her PIN number.

OP The child that has passed is gone-you are here with the blessing of life.Appreciate that life and know that the sun will rise tomorrow.

Just take small steps and teach yourself to manage your thoughts.
You honor the memory by living your life.

The below helps me when I need to redirect my internal sel dialogue



Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
“
”
Max Ehrmann, "Desidera

[Trini Hookah]

My elder brother died in the crib-swallowed a screw from the crib while I was in the womb.

40 years later I still see the sadness in my moms eyes and when we talk about it.
She remembers it like yesterday and remembers all the muffler bearing treatment some people metted out.
Coincidentally we spoke about it yesterday-she uses his bday as her PIN number.

OP The child that has passed is gone-you are here with the blessing of life.Appreciate that life and know that the sun will rise tomorrow.

Just take small steps and teach yourself to manage your thoughts.
You honor the memory by living your life.

The below helps me when I need to redirect my internal sel dialogue



Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
“
”
Max Ehrmann, "Desidera

Sorry for your loss bro, I almost suffered from this but my mom caught it just before it went down my throat.

OP time heals all, hope you are blessed with another and that you can get through this time.

[turbosingh]

I know your pain i lost my baby cousin early this year.I never feel the same again as she was really close to me, as my mom use to baby sit her.Everyday from work she used to run to me for a snack .

[Chimera]

throwing yourself into a hobby might help

i know a few people who immersed themselves in charity work/volunteering time at shelters/orphanages etc, to deal with the loss of a loved one

[88sins]

my advice SunMoon is for you to keep busy, get closer to your family, start something in memory of your lost loved one (it doesn't have to be a big grandiose spectacle, could be a hobby or a charitable action or adopting a pet) & seek professional help or let a relative find help for you if you feel like waking up in the morning is a task you rather not waste time with, or not sleeping or have no desire to eat, or develop bouts of trembling or seeing/hearing/feeling things only you can. Also keep an eye on other family members & try giving them a hand if needed, helps by giving you someone else to take care of now that baby isn't around.

Condolences to you & your family on your loss.

[Halfbreed07]

You real distasteful, you absolutely needed to comment again?

[skylinechild]

^^^ yes...