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stalest joke competiition

this is how we do it.......

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mitsuboi
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby mitsuboi » August 28th, 2011, 5:48 pm

Larry gets home late one night and Linda, his wife, says"Where the hell have you been?"Larry replies "I was out getting a tattoo!""A tattoo"? she frowned. "What kind of a tattoo did you get?""I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates" he said proudly."What the hell were you thinking"? she said, shaking her head in disgust."Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?""Well, one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand.And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want.

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby mitsuboi » August 28th, 2011, 5:49 pm

A little boy with diarrhea tells his mom he needs Viagra.

The mom asks, "Why on earth do you need that?"

The little boy replies, "isn't that what you give dad when HIS sheit won't get hard?

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zcarz
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby zcarz » August 28th, 2011, 6:19 pm

^lol
RedJet has changed their name and is now operating under the name Red.
Last edited by zcarz on August 28th, 2011, 6:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby skylinechild » August 28th, 2011, 6:20 pm

Sasquat007 wrote:so ah couple gettin married , an cermony goin on somebody pass an take up d ppl ring , so dey say some1 must b take it up by mistake an dey ent wa put it back , so dey say dey goin an take off d light put back d ring on top d panio , aa u know when dey take off d light an put it back on dey thief d panio !


this was very hard to read.....apparently the English language has failed you....

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*$kїđž!™
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby *$kїđž!™ » August 28th, 2011, 9:17 pm

though i'd post this up here lol.......
excerpt of what went on with chapelle(guy caught breaking curfew) and the police.........

Police>>> What u doing outside after 9?

Chapelle >>>> Having ah bath sir...

Police>>>>> What soap u just use?

Chapelle>>>> Protex sir....

Police>>>> Why protex boi?

Chapelle>>> Cause the police suppose to serve an protex me when I bathing on the road...

Police>>>> Well u shoulda use lux....

Chapelle.>>>>Why sir?

Police>>>> Cause is after 9 we hadda lux u up now....

Chapelle>>>> oh gosh I cyah spend ah night in jail sir....!!!

Police>>>>Shut up .....I hope the judge give you life buoy.....!!!

Chapelle>>>> oh gosh no leggo me hand....lemme DIAL meh lawyer!!!!

Police>>>> go ahead when u come out ah jail you will feel REFRESH.!!!!!!

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speedaholic
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby speedaholic » August 28th, 2011, 9:27 pm

skylinechild wrote:
Sasquat007 wrote:so ah couple gettin married , an cermony goin on somebody pass an take up d ppl ring , so dey say some1 must b take it up by mistake an dey ent wa put it back , so dey say dey goin an take off d light put back d ring on top d panio , aa u know when dey take off d light an put it back on dey thief d panio !


this was very hard to read.....apparently the English language has failed you....




u sure u is a trini!?

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby K74T » August 28th, 2011, 9:32 pm

I'd really 8-2 be an Arsenal fan after a loss like that :|

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby jusme » August 28th, 2011, 9:44 pm

*$kїđž!™, that was pretty funny

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*$kїđž!™
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby *$kїđž!™ » August 28th, 2011, 9:54 pm

jusme wrote:*$kїđž!™, that was pretty funny


lol auditioning for learie... :lol:

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mitsuboi
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby mitsuboi » August 28th, 2011, 11:04 pm

zcarz wrote:^lol
RedJet has changed their name and is now operating under the name Red.

Good one but y I feel u mek up dis one yuhself

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby BrotherHood » August 28th, 2011, 11:36 pm

multiply 2by3, divide it 4 and find the square root of 26















the answer is........ i jus on shyt!

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby Victory_Specification » August 29th, 2011, 1:42 am

This one's a med school joke, has a bit of jargon.

What nerve erects the nipple?

hypoglossal :?

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby *$kїđž!™ » August 29th, 2011, 9:42 am

Victory_Specification wrote:This one's a med school joke, has a bit of jargon.

What nerve erects the nipple?

hypoglossal :?


:? :? :? where u got this? Revenge of the nerds? :)

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby worksux101 » August 29th, 2011, 10:15 am

Victory_Specification wrote:This one's a med school joke, has a bit of jargon.

What nerve erects the nipple?

hypoglossal :?


5 yrs and i never heard that one :? :lol:

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby ismithx » August 29th, 2011, 2:20 pm

*$kїđž!™ wrote:
Victory_Specification wrote:This one's a med school joke, has a bit of jargon.

What nerve erects the nipple?

hypoglossal :?


:? :? :? where u got this? Revenge of the nerds? :)



hoss, you hadda google to understand this one... but it good eh! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby ruffrider27 » August 29th, 2011, 6:08 pm

Three Trini men were really, really drunk last Friday night in Curepe, almost passing out so they did the right thing and stopped a taxi. The taxi driver figured they were drunk out of their right minds, so he decided to give them " ah six for ah nine" so he just switched on the engine and switched it off and told them "we reach".The first drunk gave him money. The second drunk said thank you. The third drunk buss a hard slap on the taxi driver head ..."wwwatap"!

The taxi driver got surprised and said:

"Wah de hell yuh do dat for"

The third drunk said:

"Next time doh drive so fast, U cudda kill all ah we"

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby reynold1 » August 30th, 2011, 5:51 am

Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.

The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.

He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

'Well, it's quite simple, really,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.'

And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.

But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.'

'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'

'No problem,' he says. And in they go.

Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.

In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.

So he leans over and kisses Sandra.

No one says a word.

So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.

Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.

His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom..

'She's got a great body,' he thinks.

So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, pulls down her panties, and screws her every which way right there on the dinner table. After she has a big orgasm, he sits down again.

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, the Mom is pleasantly beaming.
But still, Total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.

Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket...

Suddenly the father shouted....

'I'll do the f#$!king dishes!!!

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COROLLA KID
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby COROLLA KID » August 30th, 2011, 3:27 pm

my friend living in a scrap yard and have a cow, and the cow does only eat all the scrap metal and old iron in the yard ...when time to milk the cow guess what he does get?????




milk in tin!

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby BrotherHood » August 31st, 2011, 5:45 pm

reynold1 wrote:Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.

The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.

He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

'Well, it's quite simple, really,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.'

And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.

But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.'

'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'

'No problem,' he says. And in they go.

Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.

In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.

So he leans over and kisses Sandra.

No one says a word.

So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.

Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.

His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom..

'She's got a great body,' he thinks.

So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, pulls down her panties, and screws her every which way right there on the dinner table. After she has a big orgasm, he sits down again.

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, the Mom is pleasantly beaming.
But still, Total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.

Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket...

Suddenly the father shouted....

'I'll do the f#$!king dishes!!!


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Yuh win buddy!

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby Irfy » September 4th, 2011, 1:41 am

One day in school, the teacher's phone rang. The teacher removed from his pocket an old time, green and black screen, massive, dinosaur phone. He answered his call and finished his conversation. He placed the phone on his desk and class started.

Later in class a student asked, "Wuh time it is?"

The teacher checked his phone and replied, "20 past 10. 10 minutes till allyuh break."

The student replied, "I din know phone booths cud tell time."




Aite, ah gorn sleep dey. :|

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby *$kїđž!™ » September 4th, 2011, 4:49 am

Irfy wrote:One day in school, the teacher's phone rang. The teacher removed from his pocket an old time, green and black screen, massive, dinosaur phone. He answered his call and finished his conversation. He placed the phone on his desk and class started.

Later in class a student asked, "Wuh time it is?"

The teacher checked his phone and replied, "20 past 10. 10 minutes till allyuh break."

The student replied, "I din know phone booths cud tell time."




Aite, ah gorn sleep dey. :|


yeah is bess u go and sleep... :roll:

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby skylinechild » September 4th, 2011, 9:21 am

speedaholic wrote:
skylinechild wrote:
Sasquat007 wrote:so ah couple gettin married , an cermony goin on somebody pass an take up d ppl ring , so dey say some1 must b take it up by mistake an dey ent wa put it back , so dey say dey goin an take off d light put back d ring on top d panio , aa u know when dey take off d light an put it back on dey thief d panio !


this was very hard to read.....apparently the English language has failed you....


u sure u is a trini!?


yes i am a trini but this was one of the hardest things i have ever read.
sentence construction is poor,one LONG run on sentence, grammar is poor.....i'm all for the local vernacular and short hand way of saying things but this guy taking it to new heights.... :lol: :lol:

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speedaholic
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby speedaholic » September 4th, 2011, 12:30 pm

^^ i didnt have a problem reading it... u seem to be the only one who does! :D :D :D

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby ismithx » September 6th, 2011, 8:04 pm

o goaaarrrr sabriel where you does get all these jokes???

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speedaholic
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby speedaholic » September 6th, 2011, 8:45 pm

^^^ rotfl! hosss! take WIN!

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby d spike » September 7th, 2011, 10:24 pm

A DAD'S REPLY

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 66).
We decided to grab a bite at the food court.

I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors - green, red, orange, and blue.
My dad kept staring at her.
The teenager kept looking and would find my dad staring every time.

When the teenager had had enough, she sarcastically asked:
"What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"

(Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; I knew he would have a good one!)

In classic style he responded without batting an eyelid .....
"Got stoned once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you might be my kid."

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ismithx
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby ismithx » September 8th, 2011, 8:04 am

^^^ yes! take ah win!

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Samo
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby Samo » September 8th, 2011, 8:25 am

rofl @ d spike

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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby cinco » September 8th, 2011, 8:43 am

Image

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jeepers
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Re: stalest joke competiition

Postby jeepers » September 9th, 2011, 11:16 am

One day, a couple adopted a Chinese baby. A few days later, they took up a Chinese language class. The guy in charge of the language class asked them why they decided to learn Chinese. The couple simply answered,” We want to be able to understand our child when he starts talking.

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