stalest joke competiition

[Chimera]

Denyse Plummer boyfriend hit we theses jokes up maracas yesterday (he did ask for $100 a joke eh)



Why does the Hyatt not allow one armed people on their premises?

Because they only cater to tourists (two wrists)



if you had to make a golden soup for me, what ingredients would you use?

24 carrots


Why did the mexican throw his wife off the cliff

Tequila (to kill her)


Why did Kamla not go with Rowley

Because Jack Warn her

[Jade_Inc.]

Girl: "How much do you love me?" Boy: "Look at the sky and count the stars." Girl: "But, it's daytime..." Boy: "Haha, exactly."














a girl in China lost her virginity at 12, her name was "SUM YUNG HO"

[rb4me]

bump :p

[stev]

did u know that kittens drink rum?


































so u never see ah tight cat before?

[Stephon.]

And we have a winner

[K74T]

Sabriel,

[Zim]

Central Eating

Radi was a circus lion,
Radi was a woman hater
Radi had a lady trainer
Radiator

[stev]

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want
to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and
calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior
officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this
car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,
please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and
examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't
have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked
up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

[ismithx]

^^^ eeeeet stale!

[Caído]

Aye...

Allyuh hear bout d murder by d pharmacy?





Panadol kill pain

[honda hoe]

Two Trinis go hiking and pack a cooler with sandwiches and beer.

After three days of walking, they arrive at a great spot but realize they've forgotten a bottle opener.

The first Trini turns to the second and says,

"You hafta go back and get de opener or else we ain't go get any Carib."

"No way," says the second. "By the time I get back, you go eat all de food."

"I promise I won't," says the Trini.?Just hurry nah man!"

Nine full days pass and there's still no sign of the second Trini.

Exasperated and starving, the first Trini digs into the sandwiches...

Suddenly, the second Trini pops out from behind a rock and yells, "I knew it! I not going!!

[speedaholic]

A rich man and a poor man were sitting at a bar having a few drinks and they got chatting. after a while they realise both of there wedding anniverserys are the next day.
Poor man, "What did you get your wife for her wedding anniversery?"
Rich man, "I got her a sports car and a diamond ring."
Poor man, "What made you choose those gifts?"
Rich man, "She loves fast cars and I wasnt sure about the ring so if she doesnt like it, she can take it back in her new car...
The poor, Man nodds in agreement.
Rich man, "What did you get your wife?"
Poor man, "I got my wife a pair of cheep slippers and a dildo."
Rich man, "Why did you choose those gifts?"
Poor man, " Well if she doesnt like the slippers she can go f*uck herself."

[BrotherHood]

It had a farmer right......








Who eat ah cow!

[rebel sounds]

a black baby was given wings by a fairy. so the baby asked the fairy "does this mean im an angel now?"
the fairy laughed and replied "negro please , you're a bat!"

[Stephon.]

It had a farmer right......








Who eat ah cow!

i laughed so hard, not even kidding i honestly laughed, you know those jokes that so stale that u end up laughing, well ya.

[BrotherHood]

It had a farmer right......








Who eat ah cow!

i laughed so hard, not even kidding i honestly laughed, you know those jokes that so stale that u end up laughing, well ya.

Well daz wa it about, LMAO.
Its a stalest joke competition.
I laughed at it myself when I posted it yesterday. Jus pure sh*t.

[ismithx]

i remember... it had a certain joke about a man wife who was the worst cook ever....








she could burn water

[BrotherHood]

It had ah goldfish alyuh,






















who eat ah Manicou.

[mitsu_chick941]

A father came in the bedroom to find his 13-year-old daughter smoking
a cigarette. "My God! How long have you been smoking?" screams the
father.
"Since I lost my virginity," replies the girl.
"You lost your VIRGINITY!!! When the hell did this happen?" shrieks
the father.
"I don't remember," says the girl. "I was completely drunk."

[mitsu_chick941]

Morris walks into Dr. Cohen's office and puts a note on the table in
front of the doctor. The note reads, "I can't talk. Please help me!"
The doctor thinks for a while and says to Morris, "Put your penis on
the table here."
Morris thinks this is a bit weird, but Cohen is a specialist, so he
does as the doctor says.
The doctor takes a rubber mallet and hits Morris's penis as hard as he
can.
The man cries in great agony, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
The doctor says, "Good. Come again tomorrow, and we'll learn B.

[mitsu_chick941]

Jabu walked into class every morning with a black eye . After a while his teacher got worried and asked him about it. Jabu's answer was: "Our house is very small miss. Me, my mother and my father, we sleep On the same bed. Every night my father asks, 'Jabu are you sleeping?' Then I say 'No' and then he slaps my face and gives me a Black eye."
So the teacher says to him, "Tonight when your father asks again, keep dead quiet and don't answer". The following morning Jabu comes to school and his eye is fine, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief. But the day after that Jabu comes back with a severe black eye again. "My goodness Jabu, why the black eye again?" He tells her: "Mam, Dad asked me again, 'Jabu are you sleeping?... and I shut up and kept dead still. Then my father and my mother started moaning and at the same time Mom was breathing erratically, kicking her legs up frantically and squealing like a demented hyena on the bed"... Then my father asks my mother: 'Are you coming?' Then my mom says, 'Yes I'm coming, are you coming too?' and my dad answered 'Yes'. Since they don't usually go anywhere without me I said 'Wait for me.......

[crazybalhead]

What's the circumference of a potato?

Aloo pi.

[K74T]

[speedaholic]

LMAO!

[sMASH]

What's the circumference of a potato?

Aloo pi.

[*$kїđž!™]

A rich man and a poor man were sitting at a bar having a few drinks and they got chatting. after a while they realise both of there wedding anniverserys are the next day.
Poor man, "What did you get your wife for her wedding anniversery?"
Rich man, "I got her a sports car and a diamond ring."
Poor man, "What made you choose those gifts?"
Rich man, "She loves fast cars and I wasnt sure about the ring so if she doesnt like it, she can take it back in her new car...
The poor, Man nodds in agreement.
Rich man, "What did you get your wife?"
Poor man, "I got my wife a pair of cheep slippers and a dildo."
Rich man, "Why did you choose those gifts?"
Poor man, " Well if she doesnt like the slippers she can go f*uck herself."

[rollingstock]

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Canadian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by their neighbors, in the weeks that followed, an American Archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times:
"American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their Ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Canadians".

One week later, the Trinidadian authorities reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in Penal, Debe and Chaguanas, Ram Beharry, a self-taught archaeologist and former cemetery attendant, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Mr Beharry has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Trinidad had already gone wireless."

[Bizzare]

[ismithx]

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Canadian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by their neighbors, in the weeks that followed, an American Archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times:
"American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their Ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Canadians".

One week later, the Trinidadian authorities reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in Penal, Debe and Chaguanas, Ram Beharry, a self-taught archaeologist and former cemetery attendant, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Mr Beharry has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Trinidad had already gone wireless."

o goarrr hold a ploi

A man bumps into his ex wife's new husband and said: "Hi, how's the second hand pucci?"
The mad replies "its great thanks...after the first three inches.. the rest of it is brand new!!!"

bodow, take win!!!!

[ruffrider27]

bro had a chick overnight,so i over heard him say during the night "y u have on the ac at the higest,its too cold "she replied it not on the highest,it's on TURBO"










dumb fuc......