South soap opera nonsense...

[sweetiepaper]

he has no one but himself to blame, he gave her the bad habit from early o'clock

Quite right, quite right.
You must never:
profess love and loyalty;
get married;
build a house for them (if they want house, they get one of two things: HDC or employment);
attempt faithfulness;
get married;
work your arse off to ensure they can live in comfort (their idea of comfort);
attempt trust;
and of course, get married.

all these things for someone you hope will change their ways to please you because they are now about to have your child. What better place to start a marriage! In this instance, was it better to get married then divorced 10 years later or not married at all? Tough situation to be in.

But in AllTrac defence d man shoulda know what kinda gyul he marridin...I tink it obvious he kno how she was an he stil went an marrid she

I was actually being sarcastic. An unplanned pregnancy cannot be the best place to start a marriage especially when one of the partners is limin every Tom, Dick and Danraj. These two individuals once careless, free and enjoying single life are now forced into a very different world. As much as i would like it to, a baby is not going to guarantee faithfulness and commitment in a relationship.
I agree with you guys. He has no one but himself to blame. He knew all the possible outcomes of his actions and still proceeded with the act. Sex has become a much too casual game for many. Some choices we make in life have very serious consequences which we will have to live with forever.
At least things are looking up for him now.

[d spike]

I was actually being sarcastic. An unplanned pregnancy cannot be the best place to start a marriage especially when one of the partners is limin every Tom, Dick and Danraj. These two individuals once careless, free and enjoying single life are now forced into a very different world. As much as i would like it to, a baby is not going to guarantee faithfulness and commitment in a relationship.
I agree with you guys. He has no one but himself to blame. He knew all the possible outcomes of his actions and still proceeded with the act. Sex has become a much too casual game for many. Some choices we make in life have very serious consequences which we will have to live with forever.
At least things are looking up for him now.

Ummm...
Sweetiepaper, I'm not sure exactly which fellow you are referring to, regarding marriage due to pregnancy - a decision which I think is silly. Just so you know, the fellow who I wrote about was married for more than two years before the birth of his first child.

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

d spike, do me ah favor nah. PM me if you want. I really want to know for my knowledge what kind of people do these things?

Race? Religion? She good looking? He good looking? She wealthy? He wealthy? Educated?

I does really try to understand these people... (their family too)

Country Indian.


The ones who grew up with very little, who were exposed at some point in their lives to bright lights in the big city, Probably seen on TV.
As they were trained from young, these goddesses from wooden and/or mud constructed dwellings, found betterment from a man that they think, and actually believe, will carry them very far in life so that they can become "somebody".
However,the search never ends. The relationship starts off great. The man found simplicity in her in the earlies, which attracted him because he likes knowing that he can be a man and provide/take care of her. Poor guy enjoys this as it makes him feel like he has helped this person.
She fcuks him like a champion, as most of the females from these areas do - (dunno where they learn that skill)-and makes him feel even more happy with his selection of a mate.
As time goes by, she starts to get either bored or "bright" or both, and it is soon apparent that the search for happiness isn't over.
In walks horn. But, understand that you cannot do that to them.They really will kill themselves or you , if you did it cause you are theirs and you always will be. "I gave him my body" is what they say and no man should betray that.

It is a pity though, cause they really can be good women if they wanted to be...
They just lack the capacity to be civilised and understand that happiness is found within themselves and nowhere else.

Id like to take this opportunity to dedicate this thread to Shivani...You were really good, and then you threw it all away......Thanks god i ran when i did before things got worse...

[AllTrac]

d spike, do me ah favor nah. PM me if you want. I really want to know for my knowledge what kind of people do these things?

Race? Religion? She good looking? He good looking? She wealthy? He wealthy? Educated?

I does really try to understand these people... (their family too)

Country Indian.


The ones who grew up with very little, who were exposed at some point in their lives to bright lights in the big city, Probably seen on TV.
As they were trained from young, these goddesses from wooden and/or mud constructed dwellings, found betterment from a man that they think, and actually believe, will carry them very far in life so that they can become "somebody".
However,the search never ends. The relationship starts off great. The man found simplicity in her in the earlies, which attracted him because he likes knowing that he can be a man and provide/take care of her. Poor guy enjoys this as it makes him feel like he has helped this person.
She fcuks him like a champion, as most of the females from these areas do - (dunno where they learn that skill)-and makes him feel even more happy with his selection of a mate.
As time goes by, she starts to get either bored or "bright" or both, and it is soon apparent that the search for happiness isn't over.
In walks horn. But, understand that you cannot do that to them.They really will kill themselves or you , if you did it cause you are theirs and you always will be. "I gave him my body" is what they say and no man should betray that.

It is a pity though, cause they really can be good women if they wanted to be...
They just lack the capacity to be civilised and understand that happiness is found within themselves and nowhere else.

Id like to take this opportunity to dedicate this thread to Shivani...You were really good, and then you threw it all away......Thanks god i ran when i did before things got worse...

while this is true, its not the case for all, there are some good ones out there.

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

d spike, do me ah favor nah. PM me if you want. I really want to know for my knowledge what kind of people do these things?

Race? Religion? She good looking? He good looking? She wealthy? He wealthy? Educated?

I does really try to understand these people... (their family too)

Country Indian.


The ones who grew up with very little, who were exposed at some point in their lives to bright lights in the big city, Probably seen on TV.
As they were trained from young, these goddesses from wooden and/or mud constructed dwellings, found betterment from a man that they think, and actually believe, will carry them very far in life so that they can become "somebody".
However,the search never ends. The relationship starts off great. The man found simplicity in her in the earlies, which attracted him because he likes knowing that he can be a man and provide/take care of her. Poor guy enjoys this as it makes him feel like he has helped this person.
She fcuks him like a champion, as most of the females from these areas do - (dunno where they learn that skill)-and makes him feel even more happy with his selection of a mate.
As time goes by, she starts to get either bored or "bright" or both, and it is soon apparent that the search for happiness isn't over.
In walks horn. But, understand that you cannot do that to them.They really will kill themselves or you , if you did it cause you are theirs and you always will be. "I gave him my body" is what they say and no man should betray that.

It is a pity though, cause they really can be good women if they wanted to be...
They just lack the capacity to be civilised and understand that happiness is found within themselves and nowhere else.

Id like to take this opportunity to dedicate this thread to Shivani...You were really good, and then you threw it all away......Thanks god i ran when i did before things got worse...

while this is true, its not the case for all, there are some good ones out there.

there are always exceptions....few and far between tho.

[~*Pãñdorą*~]

This girl monitors his Facebook constantly and has his password and deletes ANYTHING from another female. Recently, she deleted every female on his list who wasn't family

There are some tuners who can relate to this..

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

^^Quite true!

[crazybalhead]

Rio Claro comes to mind.

[AllTrac]

Pandora and RS, allyuh had allyuh SO monitoring allyuh fb so??

de minute FB becomes a major part of your relationship and a leverage tool in arguments then u know u done headed on a downward spiral

[~*Pãñdorą*~]

It's hard to know what a person is REALLY like or going to be like especially after a few years of marriage, and this extends to their family as well.

My experience with Indian families and spouses, Indian love marriage, and love the act of getting married. You start dating and you bring your significant other around and the questions is "So when is the wedding?" And to that effect they act all great, they are all smiles and on best behaviour, hide certain facts about your significant other and even themselves, in order to present a very desirable front.

So after some years of family gatherings and some years of dating you tend to think that all is well and you are making the right choice. Smh... and then reality hits a few years after marriage..

You can NEVER tell what a person will be like after marriage, No matter how you read whatever red flags there are or aren't.. People Change.. and with them.. their families!

[~*Pãñdorą*~]

Pandora and RS, allyuh had allyuh SO monitoring allyuh fb so??

de minute FB becomes a major part of your relationship and a leverage tool in arguments then u know u done headed on a downward spiral

I ain't calling name eh.. really not gonna..
But I was on this tuner's FB friends list for a long ass while.. so long.. I never really check for the guy because I just assumed he always there..

Then one day he come on my MSN and sked me if I deleted myself from his FB.. I was like.. Ermmm no.. I ain't check your profile in a minute.. But why yuh ask?

He said apparently his gf went on a deleting spree.. and I got caught in the cross fire.. Well boy.. I tell mehself is bess I remove him from MSN too.. Cuz nothing is sacred anymore!!

[eurogirl]

lola doesn't love me...she doesn't buy me any PS3 games

Good for her !! she finally came to her senses

[16 cycles]

...........
So after some years of family gatherings and some years of dating you tend to think that all is well and you are making the right choice. Smh... and then reality hits a few years after marriage...........

do people stop trying at the relationship after marriage?

what changes? - what is the reality?

[AllTrac]

It's hard to know what a person is REALLY like or going to be like especially after a few years of marriage, and this extends to their family as well.

My experience with Indian families and spouses, Indian love marriage, and love the act of getting married. You start dating and you bring your significant other around and the questions is "So when is the wedding?" And to that effect they act all great, they are all smiles and on best behaviour, hide certain facts about your significant other and even themselves, in order to present a very desirable front.

So after some years of family gatherings and some years of dating you tend to think that all is well and you are making the right choice. Smh... and then reality hits a few years after marriage..

You can NEVER tell what a person will be like after marriage, No matter how you read whatever red flags there are or aren't.. People Change.. and with them.. their families!

good stuff, thats why I never like to get family involved in a relationship. I meet them, hi, hello, goodbye etc but including them in every decision or getting to close with them is a no no in my book. When they are included they feel that they have some type of say or influence. While it might be so for some, I try to avoid that, i rather just solve our problems between ourselves. I dont even get my own parents involved in my business and living with inlaws is a recipe for disaster if you or your spouse is very out spoken.

[AllTrac]

...........
So after some years of family gatherings and some years of dating you tend to think that all is well and you are making the right choice. Smh... and then reality hits a few years after marriage...........

do people stop trying at the relationship after marriage?

what changes? - what is the reality?

I think they get sucked into a cycle, work, home, favorite sitcom, sex(sometimes if they are not to tired), sleep, to the point where sex is scheduled. Thats where the trying stops and everything is taken for granted.

[wagonrunner]

Pandora and RS, allyuh had allyuh SO monitoring allyuh fb so??

de minute FB becomes a major part of your relationship and a leverage tool in arguments then u know u done headed on a downward spiral

like you never get bouff, because you call the S.O. with a "lewwe do this" after you "foolishly" did some planning via d FB, (to put everything in place)

[Sky]

I didn't see any mention of the testing factor.
Sometimes testing someone is seen as lack of care.

[AllTrac]

Pandora and RS, allyuh had allyuh SO monitoring allyuh fb so??

de minute FB becomes a major part of your relationship and a leverage tool in arguments then u know u done headed on a downward spiral

like you never get bouff, because you call the S.O. with a "lewwe do this" after you "foolishly" did some planning via d FB, (to put everything in place)

that flew straight over my head hoss should a beat up ensue??

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

Privacy is priceless.....And should be treated as such.
Just in case my SO decides to get tempted to "investigate" stuff, my phone has and will always sleep in my car.
FB is for ppl that has the time and macco's. I may go on now and then when im in that mood - i guess.
My sheit aint gonna be up there for public viewing. Worse yet, for said SO to even find out who's saying "Hi" etc.

Technology WRT the above 2 scenarios,, are designed to encourage unhappy times, regardless of your lifestyle.

[~*Pãñdorą*~]

...........
So after some years of family gatherings and some years of dating you tend to think that all is well and you are making the right choice. Smh... and then reality hits a few years after marriage...........

do people stop trying at the relationship after marriage?

what changes? - what is the reality?

The Reality of Marriage :-
Life is NOT going to be like dating for reasons listed below. And this is one of the biggest wake up calls for a lot of newlyweds.
When a man and woman join in Matrimony they become an island, they are supposed to now lean on each other and not mamie and papie or tanty anymore. Responsibilities like rent, mortgage, bills loom over your head and if you don't know or have never had those responsibilities before, it can be a bit daunting.

Then the invisible often unspoken pressures are there.. and the man AND woman start to think differently eg: Well he is MY husband, She is MY wife.. and so with that a certain amount of possessiveness amounts. And often times that possessive quality manifests itself in ugly ways. And all because the terms HUSBAND and WIFE seem to carry more weight than ever before.

If you have kids very early in the marriage you often times are not able to remain a married couple, you're now a mom and dad and those roles usurp your marriage EVERYTIME, THIS is a huge reason of why many newlyweds don't last. Their marriage suffers after the baby comes, because they do not know how to balance the two.

I could go on and on..
But mostly.. YES people have stopped working at marriage, but I think it has a lot to do with Human beings on the whole.

We are tired individuals, we can no longer afford the luxury of 1 spouse work while the other stays at home. A double income family is the norm these days because you want to provide the best for your family. And when both husband and wife come home from a stressful day at work, who has time to work at the marriage.. you barely have time to feed yourself and your kids.. much less sit and spend quality time with your spouse.

[crazybalhead]

That's why you MAKE the time.

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

Pandora,
I dont agree.
It depends on maturity levels, ability to handle stress , etc. by both party's.

[wagonrunner]

Pandora and RS, allyuh had allyuh SO monitoring allyuh fb so??

de minute FB becomes a major part of your relationship and a leverage tool in arguments then u know u done headed on a downward spiral

like you never get bouff, because you call the S.O. with a "lewwe do this" after you "foolishly" did some planning via d FB, (to put everything in place)

that flew straight over my head hoss should a beat up ensue??

no fella. nothing personal at yuh.
just relating what plays off with some.

[S_2NR]

I NEVER get family involved in a relationship either..too much drama..unless we gettin married..family being close to our relationship is a big no no.

[AllTrac]

IS MITSU CRAZY YOU TALKING BOUT DEY??

[Sky]

That's why you MAKE the time.

First of all, don't marry someone who's not even remotely interested in things you do for fun. And that goes both ways.
Incorporate what you both do for fun.

An example would be putting my business out in the open. I like guitars and I like the build stuff. eventually I started looking into building guitars. I did the research, could afford the toods and have the time. She like to paint. So guess what. I'm gonna get tools to build guitars with no paint on it and she's getting airbrushing tools to paint them. We're both still researching our part of the work.
So we both doing stuff we like, but we're doing it together.

Another thing is the maturity to accept that you can't do certain things you like . That opens up some free time for the above stated.

That's three simple things that goes a long way to help that.

[~*Pãñdorą*~]

Pandora,
I dont agree.
It depends on maturity levels, ability to handle stress , etc. by both party's.

You are right on the maturity level as well..
I was generalising.. I'll say this much.. my marriage did not work out in my 20's because I personally think neither him nor I were mature enough to make the right decisions.

Now in my 30's I do think I can better handle the curveballs marriage send my way.

[16 cycles]

taking care of the house and kids supposed to be part of the marriage - how does it get in the way?

^ see that as duties shared to help build the unity in the marriage - share in the kids activities....play, pray, eat together....

or thaz just in the movies?

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

.

Now in my 30's I do think I can better handle the curveballs .....

THIS!!!

[AllTrac]

That's why you MAKE the time.

i see that as a miracle for some.
Take my cousin for example, both him and his wife are employed. Their arrival time home in the after work ranges from 4:30-5:30pm depending on who picks up their daughter from school/evening classes. When his wife comes home, she makes dinner and he runs to the gym, spends about hour, back by approx 7pm. Then he has to sit with his daughter help her do home work and spend some time with her, that would take him till a bit after 8:30pm cause its time for sleep. Then his wife puts her to bed. So about 9-9:30pm their "DAY" is actually finished. They both need to get to bed by 10 so they can at least squeeze in 7 hours of sleep cause they have to get up pretty early to get their daughter prepared for school and sort out food. Now they are preparing for another child.
I asked him how he makes time, he himself dunno. They just promise each other 1-2 nights out of the month they both go out together without their daughter and spend that time, but even now its a bit trying.
This is why im keeping my mom good, ill be offloading my children on her all the time