Caribbean Potholes: It's a jungle out there

[Safeq]

Just some Friday humour. Enjoy!


After reading an article about potholes in North America, I thought that I would spend some time educating the world on real potholes as found in the Caribbean. So do enjoy our take on this whole pothole debacle.

Auto123: Spring is generally an ebullient time for car buffs. The sleek, gorgeous models start coming out of hibernation, the race tracks open for the season, and you can finally crack open those windows and rejoice at the feel of the wind whipping through your hair – until you slam into a pothole, sworn enemy of drivers everywhere.

Caribbean: For one, there is no spring in the Caribbean. We have the Dry Season from January to June and the Wet Season from July to December. Sometimes the Dry Season is somewhat wet and other times it's bone dry.

And in the Caribbean, Trinidad specifically you are not so foolish to have your foot planted on the accelerator and zoom zooming along a road to be caught unawares with a pothole arising from the asphalt like a Phoenix. No we don't do that here.

In the Caribbean, potholes have mailing addresses. They get electricity and water and sometimes digital cable tv available where they are. Potholes here pay bills, you meet them in the supermarket and say howdy. They are cordial and introduce themselves to you soon after you have gotten a new vehicle.

In the Caribbean, potholes are legendary. They have full celebrity status along with the requisite Facebook pages. Newly spawned potholes Tweet about themselves and their roadworthy lineage on Twitter.

In the Caribbean we have Angry Potholes who can stop traffic on major roads and highways. Our traffic issues aren't caused solely by too many vehicles, it's La Pothole Cosa Nostra.

Auto123: Basically, potholes are formed from cracks in the pavement caused by heat and the stress put on our roads by cars driving over them. The more vehicles on the road, and the heavier they are, the more potholes will crop up.

Caribbean: This is true here as well. We have many a truck worsening the situations.

And this is just my conspiracy theory, but I believe in Trinidad the Water Company, the Works Ministry and La Pothole Cosa Nostra are in collusion to go forth and populate the roads of the nation with pothole after pothole.

How else can you explain that every time there is a newly paved stretch of road it immediately requires archaeological excavation to locate "leaks" that have magically appeared only After the road is paved?

Auto123: They fill up with snow and rain, which lodges under the asphalt in a layer of dust and compacted gravel. When temperatures drop below 0°C, these accumulations freeze and expand, pushing the dust and gravel back. When the weather becomes milder, the ice melts and leaves empty spaces under the road. With time, the surface becomes so thin that it collapses, leaving behind holes that can be seen with the naked eye. If the holes aren’t filled in, they will expand and beget many more, accelerating the process.

Caribbean: In the Caribbean, potholes fill up with dasheen and yam. They carb-load before they head to the gym to lift weights. Temperatures don't drop here they rise but the sometimes clogged drains allow water to settle on the road infrastructure. Within that womb of rising temperatures and semi-stagnant water a new pot-holette is formed with brothers and sisters to soon follow.

Auto123: What to do when the inevitable occurs?
Because driving through craters can damage your car’s suspension components, the vast majority of motorists attempt to deftly zigzag between potholes, an eminently simple and efficient solution that unfortunately can’t always be used.

Caribbean: What to do they ask? Ha! You run! One dares not drive through a pothole here casually. I know of a pothole with Navy Seal training that grabbed hold of a wheel of a car, did a special maneuver and pushed the shock head and shock through the bonnet of a car.

Auto123: So how can you prevent damage when faced with the inevitable?

Caribbean: You pray, plain and simple.

Auto123: Entering a crater causes more destruction than exiting it, so it’s better to slow down as much as possible before driving into a pothole. However, you shouldn’t apply the brakes once you’ve entered the pothole, because a locked wheel will deteriorate much more willingly than one that is moving.

You also have to be alert and evaluate the breadth of the pothole itself. The longer it is, the more destructive it will be. It’s vital to consider the diameter and width of your tires as well. The smaller they are, the harder they’ll fall. Finally, before any outing, make sure your tires are properly inflated according to the manufacturer’s recommendations.

Caribbean: You see all those considerations, they only work when it's one pothole per 1000 miles on a road. In the Caribbean we have potholes spawning in rapid fire succession. You're not getting a chance to have engineers scan and analyse the dimension results and provide feedback that will adjust your driving style.

In the Caribbean in some places we have potholes within potholes. Yeah it's like Inception. In other places we have patches of road amidst a bevy of potholes. So if you're in the Caribbean sometime in the future, prepare yourself for a mix of good roads and those of the cheese grater variety.

MyRX7Story Blog Note: This article was meant to take a humorous look at a serious issue that affects many drivers and their cars within the Caribbean. I know that the respective agencies responsible for the roads are doing what they can to alleviate the situation, but just a reminder that we as drivers are still experiencing some problems.

www.myrx7story.com

[legoRB]

In the Caribbean in some places we have potholes within potholes. Yeah it's like Inception.

.........wait...wut......

[rollingstock]

What to do they ask? Ha! You run! One dares not drive through a pothole here casually. I know of a pothole with Navy Seal training that grabbed hold of a wheel of a car, did a special maneuver and pushed the shock head and shock through the bonnet of a car.

lmao

[A172]

[crazybalhead]

Caribbean: In the Caribbean, potholes fill up with dasheen and yam. They carb-load before they head to the gym to lift weights. Temperatures don't drop here they rise but the sometimes clogged drains allow water to settle on the road infrastructure. Within that womb of rising temperatures and semi-stagnant water a new pot-holette is formed with brothers and sisters to soon follow.

HEAR NAH!!!!!!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

[VexXx Dogg]

win!!!!

[foss]

In the Caribbean in some places we have potholes within potholes. Yeah it's like Inception.

.........wait...wut......

DEADS !!!!!

Caribbean: In the Caribbean, potholes fill up with dasheen and yam. They carb-load before they head to the gym to lift weights. Temperatures don't drop here they rise but the sometimes clogged drains allow water to settle on the road infrastructure. Within that womb of rising temperatures and semi-stagnant water a new pot-holette is formed with brothers and sisters to soon follow.

HEAR NAH!!!!!!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

[Kiro_lee]

TGIFF...rofl....what about the ninja potholes that move to hit yuh when you swerve away from them, I swear some potholes does move to hit yuh....lol

[gastly369]

was goin thru woodland few days ago.. man with he jup low 14 wah be driving like he is neo wah dodge all de flicking hole and holding setta brakes jus so jus so.. reach ah corner and dis man slam ah brakes . i had to hard stop and all right on eh bumper .. well behind meh mad frontier gunning slam setta brakes real tires yuh hear .. 14 man like he love up he car he taught was me nearly hit he car well after that man start to speed all of sudden start to shift gear all in de hight rpm range on woodland see meh boi hit ah hole(20" crims).. well after dat i just notice he car wining to de side right thru after .... just take de flecking creek traffic if yuh cya go offroad in woodland with yuh dog scrapers. de same time yuh wah jive slow slow is de same time yuh go end up if yuh de take de flecking creek .. smh

[foss]

was goin thru woodland few days ago.. man with he jup low 14 wah be driving like he is neo wah dodge all de flicking hole and holding setta brakes jus so jus so.. reach ah corner and dis man slam ah brakes . i had to hard stop and all right on eh bumper .. well behind meh mad frontier gunning slam setta brakes real tires yuh hear .. 14 man like he love up he car he taught was me nearly hit he car well after that man start to speed all of sudden start to shift gear all in de hight rpm range on woodland see meh boi hit ah hole(20" crims).. well after dat i just notice he car wining to de side right thru after .... just take de flecking creek traffic if yuh cya go offroad in woodland with yuh dog scrapers. de same time yuh wah jive slow slow is de same time yuh go end up if yuh de take de flecking creek .. smh

come again?

[dougla_boy]

Caribbean: What to do they ask? Ha! You run! One dares not drive through a pothole here casually. I know of a pothole with Navy Seal training that grabbed hold of a wheel of a car, did a special maneuver and pushed the shock head and shock through the bonnet of a car.

LOL....wtf?!?!? LOLOLOLOL

[wheel whores]

was goin thru woodland few days ago.. man with he jup low 14 wah be driving like he is neo wah dodge all de flicking hole and holding setta brakes jus so jus so.. reach ah corner and dis man slam ah brakes . i had to hard stop and all right on eh bumper .. well behind meh mad frontier gunning slam setta brakes real tires yuh hear .. 14 man like he love up he car he taught was me nearly hit he car well after that man start to speed all of sudden start to shift gear all in de hight rpm range on woodland see meh boi hit ah hole(20" crims).. well after dat i just notice he car wining to de side right thru after .... just take de flecking creek traffic if yuh cya go offroad in woodland with yuh dog scrapers. de same time yuh wah jive slow slow is de same time yuh go end up if yuh de take de flecking creek .. smh

boy that road is the worst at one point i had to turn around just now they will have to build bridges to pass them potholes

[Safeq]

TGIFF...rofl....what about the ninja potholes that move to hit yuh when you swerve away from them, I swear some potholes does move to hit yuh....lol

wow lol yeah I forgot those...they really are swift...

[~Vēġó~]

good stuff!!!!...lol

[Alpha_2nr]

Yes!!!

You see all those considerations, they only work when it's one pothole per 1000 miles on a road. In the Caribbean we have potholes spawning in rapid fire succession.

Couldn't have said it better.

Now of course, there's the issue of the bad "paving" (or patching) that's been done on the roads as of late.....sometimes the final result is worse than the original hole/depression

[shogun]

For real. in the caribbean, we should have a Google maps, pothole edition. Good read btw.

[lostallos101]

ah this is funny but sadly true