stalest joke competiition

[mitsuboi]

While making love, he says to her wife "Babe, let's do a 68" Wife asks, "68? Whats that?" So the husband replies "You do it to me and Ill owe you 1"

[mitsuboi]

Kermit the frog, got kicked in the gob, 4 messing around with miss piggy. He looked up her dress, and said what a mess, as he popped out his little green willy!

[rollingstock]

[mitsuboi]

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her 5yr old playing in the living room with his new toy train. She heard the train stop & her son saying, "all you bastards who want off, get the hell off now, cause we're in a hurry! & all of you bastards who want on, get the hell on cause we're going down the tracks!" The mother went in & told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house! Now go to your room & stay there for 2hrs & think about what you've done!" 2hrs later the boy comes out of his room & asks if he can play with his train. his mom says yes but only if he uses nice words. he agreed & resumed playing with his train, she heard the train stop & he says, "all who are leaving the train, please take all of your stuff & thank you for traveling with us today. For those who are boarding we hope you have a nice trip." His mother was
happy until he added, "for those who are pissed about the 2hr delay, go see the fat beyotch in the kitchen!"

[rossi]

arite...hear dis one

Kamla gone to Queen Elizabeth and ask her how she still in power soo damn long. She replies that she keeps smart ppl around her and goes on to call Tony Blair. she asks Tony Blair a simple question, "your mother and father have a child, it is not your brother or sister, who is it?"
Tony fires back, "it's me of course!"
The Queen hangs up and smiles to Kamla, "see what I mean?"

Kamla comes back Trini and tries it on Jack. Jack asks her for more time and asks Dookeran,
"your mother and father have a child, it is not your brother or sister, who is it?"
Dookeran replies, "well is me"

Jack runs back and tells Kamla " ah ah ah have the the answer......is Dookeran!"
Kamla says "Jack you really dumb yes, yuh wrong, the answer is Tony Blair!"

[sMASH]

^^ funny

except that jackie boy is probably the smartest man in trinidad.

[Kasey]

yea i heard dat one plenty time, but kamla was patrick manning and jack was rowly.

[civiceatin1600]

Naked man wrapped in Plastic Wrap walks into a psychiatrists office.



































Doctor says, 'Well I see your nuts'

[COROLLA KID]

Why didn't the cross-eyed seamstress ever get a period?
She couldn't mend straight.

What don't you ask a woman drinking coffee at a mastectomy clinic?
"One lump or two?"

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.

He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"

The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"


Q: Why do women talk more then men?

A: They have 4 lips

[shotta 20]

The young midshipman was being examined on his seamanship. 'Now, Then, Scuttle,' said the examiner, 'You are about to enter harbour when a severe storm blows up. What do you do?'
'I don't try to enter harbour , Sir. I let go an anchor and ride out the storm.'
'Very good Scuttle. But supposing the storm abates, you try and haul up the anchor and the chain snaps- and another storm blows up. What do you do?'
'I'd throw out the spare anchor, Sir'
'Excellent Scuttle. Now, the second storm abates; you try and raise the second anchor, and again the chain snaps just as the third storm blows up. What do you do?'
'I'd throw out a third anchor, sir.'
'Just a minute Scuttle, where are you getting all these anchors from?'
'The same place you're getting the storms, Sir'

[mitsuboi]

‎​‎​You know I used 2 hate weddings..All the old aunties would poke me and say "UR NEXT! UR NEXT!". They soon stopped that when I started doing the same 2 them at funerals.

[mitsu_chick941]

An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!'

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of a Ferrari and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: 'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.



I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.

Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.

However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'

At this point, the father, who had remained silent holding a shot gun, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him.





'You gonna try again.

[sharkman121]

HG that joke been beat out in this ched girl.

[Turbo]

@ hottgyul.............me likes

[mitsu_chick941]

HG that joke been beat out in this ched girl.

well it even more stale now izza repost

[mitsu_chick941]

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway, when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It says Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution 10 Miles. He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign which says Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution 5 Miles and realizes that these signs are for real. When he drives past a third sign saying Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution Next Right, his curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive.

On the far side of the parking lot is a somber stone building with a small sign next to the door reading SISTERS OF MERCY. He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks "What may we do for you, my son?" He answers "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business."

"Very well, my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door,and tells the man "Please knock on this door." He does as he is told and this door is answered by another nun in a long habit and holding a tin cup.This nun instructs "Please place $50 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway." He gets $50 out of his wallet and places it in the second nun's cup.

He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him. As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign:

Go in Peace, You Have Just Been Screwed by the Sisters of Mercy.

[rollingstock]

that joke belong in teh other ched

[COROLLA KID]

A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?"

"Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose."

"Wow, what does it look like after sex?"

"Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"

[COROLLA KID]

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.

The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"

The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough.I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"

The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

[COROLLA KID]

What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common?

They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.

[COROLLA KID]

Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magician was standing at the top of a slide. The magician than said, "You may each go down the slide, asking for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide you shall land a a huge glass of that drink.

The first man went down yelling, "Beerrr!!!" Plop! He landed in a glass of beer.

The second guy went down the slide yelling,"lemonadeee!!!" Plop! He landed in a glass of lemonade.

The third guy went down the slide yelling "wheeeeeeeee!!!"'

[nos_specialist]

this is the STALEST...and i jus think it up...


WHAT does a Digital clock and Boeing have in common?




















they both have 7:47....

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

^^WHAT THA FICK IS THAT??



jUst now yuh go tell meh that Kees have no electricity thats why he WATTTless?

[mitsu_chick941]

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

I just thought that YOUD find that funny

[shogun]

this is the STALEST...and i jus think it up...


WHAT does a Digital clock and Boeing have in common?




















they both have 7:47....

Nah boy! yuh win!
here! take the coveted bronze fig award.

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

Yuh spell corvette wrong.
Cmon . This IS an automotive forum.

[professor]

The Winner of the stalest joke competition is; any of the jokes in 'Last Comedian Standing' at NAPA last Saturday. I Napped in NAPA. One set of OLD rehashed Internet jokes. Boring.

[jmccomie]

A doctor tells his patient he has good news & bad news:
Doc: Good news is u gonna die in 24hrs
Patient: Hmm... so wats d bad news?
Doc: i forgot to call u yesterday

[MISHI]

Your name must be "Bayer" cause you sure are an @ss... prin.