stalest joke competiition

[jjcp]

ismithx have to explain that one yes, i dont get it

[Kasey]

And also ismithx, where is 'cuerepe'???

[fouljuice]

EHHHHHHHH ?!?!?!!?!?!

[ismithx]

ait well that was supposed to be curepe... and Caracas is in Venezuela... the point is that you are in more trouble if you do that to a woman...

[sharkman121]

[ismithx]

ok well it did say stalest joke

[CS3A_GLX]

bai u is 1 tun tun spanner! yuh fadda brake was stale when he impregnated ur mom's egg...hence the deformed embryo that was produced!

[Captainzaak]

ok well it did say stalest joke

I doh think that even classifies as a joke lol

[zcarz]

ok well it did say stalest joke

yea but that was just stale

[mitsuboi]

maybe it wasnt a joke but a fact????

[Bizzare]

ismithx....Bai WTF does really take men boi........ wayzzzzz..... nah soldya...... d phoq.... Yuh had meh feeling like a kant hoss... Like I was to stupid to catch that one....until I scrolled down

[DFC]

I gone by a certain tuner on christmas night, as soon as i walk in the house, i see a lighting cigarette butt in the floor , i mash it and out it one time, and then somebody bawl out.. "aye who turn of the lights?"

lol.

[Bizzare]

DFC I would love to believe thats an inside joke right... between you and the "certain tuner" you speak of.....

[mitsuboi]

DFC failed more than ismithx

[jjcp]

DFC take stale to a new level yes wit that one

[wheel whores]

There once was a farmer who was raising three daughters on his own. He was very concerned about their well being and always did his best to watch out for them. As they entered the late teens, the girls dated, and on this particular evening all three of his girls were going out on a date.

This was the first time this had occurred. As was his custom, he would greet the young suitor at the door holding his shotgun, not to menace or threaten but merely to ensure that the young man knew who was boss.

The doorbell rang and the first of the boys arrived. Father answered the door and the lad said, "Hi, my name's Joe. I'm here for Flo. We're going to the show, is she ready to go?" The father looked him over and sent the kids on their way.

The next lad arrived and said, "My name's Eddie. I'm here for Betty. We're gonna get some spaghetti. Is she ready?" Father felt this one was okay too, so off the two kids went.

The final young man arrived and the farmer opened the door. The boy started off, "Hi, my name's Chuck..." And the farmer shot him.

[wheel whores]

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.
"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the..."
"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?".
Farmer Joe said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..."
The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say."
Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ol' Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. "Shortly after the accident, a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
"Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, 'Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her.'
"Then he said, 'How are YOU feeling?'"

[Chimera]

It had this bald eagle, bald eagles stay with their mates for years and years, as it so happened,his mate died and he needed to look for a new one, now this bald eagle also had a large appetite for sex, so he wanted a new lover who could match his sexual needs.

He found a dove, but every night when he wanted to bull the dove, the dove would say "I am a dove, and i like to love"
Bald eagle didnt like that sheit, he wanted to f uck, not love, so he kick the dove outta the nest

He then found a loon, now every night when the bald eagle wanted to bull, the loon would say "I am a loon and I like to spoon"
Now the bald eagle didnt like that either, so he kick the loon out of the nest

lastly..he get a duck.......

Guess what the duck say?


















Yuh make a mistake, I am a drake.

[sMASH]

the forces strong these few posts there....

[mitsuboi]

Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"

Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fac-king.

[mitsuboi]

A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week, so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.

There was one problem. The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table," or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious, but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot. Then the ship sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the parrot.

They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and then another and then another.

Finally on the fourth day, the parrot could not hold back and said,


"OK, I give up. Where's the freaking ship?"

[mitsuboi]

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'

Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal:
'What is 3 x 3?'

Harry:
'9.'

Principal:
'What is 6 x 6?'

Harry:
'36.'

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade'

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions..'

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'

Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: 'Pockets.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'

Harry: 'Pants.'

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'

Harry: 'Shake hands .'

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'

Harry:
'Firetruck.'

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the
teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong

[mitsuboi]

An old man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts.

He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?"

"Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away.

He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000?" he asks again.

"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?"

So the little old man runs around the next block and faces her again, "Would you let me bite your breasts - just once - for $10,000?!"

She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmmmm, $10,000... Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."

So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world.

As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them - but not biting them.

The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, 'Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?'
"Nah," says the little old man... "Costs too much!"

[neocyst]

What did one wall say to the other wall?

Meet you at the corner.

[lighthammer]

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?
Dr. Dre.


Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if it had four doors, it'd be a chicken sedan


A pirate walks into a bar with a ship wheel on his dick.
The bartender says "whats with the ship wheel on your dick?"
The pirate replies "Arrr, I don't know but its drivin me nuts!"

[rollingstock]

^^^

Those aren't stale though.

[partsman]

Well everybody knows Australia get dey ass cut good and propa by England ent ?

The Aussie team didn't care to stay home for turkey this Christmas . Most of them went out for duck .

[partsman]

The tourists who were chopped in Tobago are very angry with the THA .

Strange that they are English yet they hate London .

[partsman]

For Christmas i bought everyone hats ... i always make my presents felt .

Every year at Christmas, I am asked the same blasted question:
"What is the best way to serve turkey? The answer fairly obvious : just join the turkish army .

A vicious dog attacked me today. All i had was a can of Pepsi...there was no way to cokes him

One of the women the founder of Wikileaks ,Julian Assange, had sex with , filed charges in which she stated that his condom tore during a sexual encounter. Seems Julian isn't only good at leaking documents .

I used to be a waiter ...it didn't pay much but at least i put food on the table .

Here's a picture of me with the band REM .....that's me in the corner .

I had a copy of my Holy Book which i was going to give REM . As the camera flashed , someone snatched it out of my hands ..... that's me in the spot-light , losing my religion

I was going to cook a surprise dinner for my chinese friend... but someone let the cat out of the bag .

[lighthammer]

^^^ : lol:


haw-haw-haw!!