? About re-marrying

*Phoenix* · Postby ***Phoenix*** » February 15th, 2010, 10:36 pm

Check! I trust people way to easy.... I say what i mean, some people say what they want you to hear. I Learnt that everybody ent like me.... "Check!"

:wink:

eurogirl · Postby **eurogirl** » February 15th, 2010, 10:37 pm

thearpy check ! ?

eurogirl · Postby **eurogirl** » February 15th, 2010, 10:41 pm

i'm kidding eh

plz dont' kill me with u're fire truck ...

:oops:

DevilZ · Postby **DevilZ** » February 15th, 2010, 10:41 pm

marriage is pointless..why work hard at something thats pointless?

skylinechild · Postby **skylinechild** » February 15th, 2010, 10:44 pm

Halfbreed07 wrote:skyline
ok, to each his own
yes, no better way to get to kno each other
hard luck for some reason i though you were a chick, again my apologies...

ok..to each his own..true...

and yes there are better ways to get to know someone.....is called listening to that person....not having sex like a pair of rabbits.....to me if the other person is worth the time then you might as well make time to listen...and communicate....and try to understand the other person....

fauck..i cant believe i just wrote that....i need a drink....

and you thought i was a chick.? how did you come to that conclusion.? skylinebabe is the chick..not me but as of late i not seeing her on tuner after an alleged fight with another female tuner....

someone account was hacked and pics stolen and posted here...or something so to that effect.....but that is another story for another time....

so euro....3/4 bottle of gin......and nothing....damn....you better than me...we hav to link up....lol..

*Phoenix* · Postby ***Phoenix*** » February 15th, 2010, 10:46 pm

I'm better now... Got the therapy i need. Thansk for caring. Tuners are the best.

First got married cuz her parents said she had too.
The second cheated.

Whats a guy to do - press on.. 8-)

I ain't shoot, chop or kill nobody.
Every action has consequences.

In marriage or in any transaction each party involved has a responsibility to uphold their part. You can't make anyone do anything they don't want to. Its not up to you alone. The success of a marriage is up to the both parties involved.
The truth is that not everyone is a team player.

Perhaps Some of us work better alone.

Halfbreed07 · Postby **Halfbreed07** » February 15th, 2010, 10:53 pm

skylinechild wrote:
Halfbreed07 wrote:skyline
ok, to each his own
yes, no better way to get to kno each other
hard luck for some reason i though you were a chick, again my apologies...

ok..to each his own..true...

and yes there are better ways to get to know someone.....is called listening to that person....not having sex like a pair of rabbits.....to me if the other person is worth the time then you might as well make time to listen...and communicate....and try to understand the other person....

fauck..i cant believe i just wrote that....i need a drink....

and you thought i was a chick.? how did you come to that conclusion.? skylinebabe is the chick..not me but as of late i not seeing her on tuner after an alleged fight with another female tuner....

someone account was hacked and pics stolen and posted here...or something so to that effect.....but that is another story for another time....

so euro....3/4 bottle of gin......and nothing....damn....you better than me...we hav to link up....lol..

[/devils advocate]
say after you all get married and have sex, its horrid, even after communication it still is, den what? Go by classic seamen?
its best to sample the melon before you buy it.
there's no better communication than making love, if you really love the person though, if not is just freaking around

skylinechild · Postby **skylinechild** » February 15th, 2010, 11:02 pm

Halfbreed07 wrote:
skylinechild wrote:
Halfbreed07 wrote:skyline
ok, to each his own
yes, no better way to get to kno each other
hard luck for some reason i though you were a chick, again my apologies...

ok..to each his own..true...

and yes there are better ways to get to know someone.....is called listening to that person....not having sex like a pair of rabbits.....to me if the other person is worth the time then you might as well make time to listen...and communicate....and try to understand the other person....

fauck..i cant believe i just wrote that....i need a drink....

and you thought i was a chick.? how did you come to that conclusion.? skylinebabe is the chick..not me but as of late i not seeing her on tuner after an alleged fight with another female tuner....

someone account was hacked and pics stolen and posted here...or something so to that effect.....but that is another story for another time....

so euro....3/4 bottle of gin......and nothing....damn....you better than me...we hav to link up....lol..

[/devils advocate]
say after you all get married and have sex, its horrid, even after communication it still is, den what? Go by classic seamen?
its best to sample the melon before you buy it.
there's no better communication than making love, if you really love the person though, if not is just freaking around

ok i said communicate FIRST then what ever happens you take it from there....if you communicate and you realize you dont like the person.....you still going to get married to that person....???

however if you communicate and you realize that you both feel the same way about each other....then by all means take it to the next level....not necessarily meaning bring out the K-Y and whips and chains and stuff....

by the way are you a guy or a chick and you single or in a relationship.....??

just asking to get a better understanding of your situation.....no need to answer

good god i starting to sound like AP.....i really need a drink

apple · Postby **apple** » February 15th, 2010, 11:08 pm

Halfbreed07 wrote:ever noticed how divored folks are seldom interested in re-marrying again?

Is that fair to the other person esp. if they have never been married before.

I am starting to think marriage is over rated; what you guys think?

Divorced folks have a right to not want to remarry. Especially when it was difficult to get out off. One man I know his wife refused to sign the documents, so he had to leave her and live apart for a number of years before he could get around her and get his 'freedom' (as he calls it).

Two of my close friends are married to each other and are miserable. Yet they refuse to part ways case they are trying to 'save face'.
---
If I know the man I'm interested in has been divorced, it is my responsibility to find out his view on remarriage. Lets say he is against it, then it is up to me to conform/find balance in the situation or walk away.
If I think its unfair then I should have walked away from the start when I found out he was divorced and not wait and hope I can change his mind/heart/view.

I have never been married, so I can't speak from that perspective.
If something is working then I believe there is no need to 'fix it'.

bigga514 · Postby **bigga514** » February 16th, 2010, 2:24 pm

Communication Communication Communication + understanding +Patience (x99) + selflessness = 85% success rate.

marriage is no easy thing to go tru and not for everybody, but if done right AND FOR THE RIGHT REASONS. it can be a beautiful thing.

yours truly, Happily Married(5yrs) 27y.o.

devrat · Postby **devrat** » February 16th, 2010, 2:47 pm

eurogirl wrote:dude

b4 30 and divorced twice

..

somehow how u need to check on u .. no offence eh ..

usually ppl stay married the 2nd time around unless u're devrat and like to fcuk everything tht wears a 2 piece

wait.....................what ?????

sweeks · Postby **sweeks** » February 16th, 2010, 3:03 pm

Simply put .... Marriage is a compromise. Give and take.

It's has its ups and downs .... but hopefully more ups than downs.

AbstractPoetic · Postby **AbstractPoetic** » February 16th, 2010, 3:06 pm

apple wrote:Divorced folks have a right to not want to remarry.

But they certainly have no right to discourage others of it all together.

And quite a few tuners have done this, both divorced and estranged, and those that are unmarried who have live-in wives without the paper.

Unfortunately there are individuals on this forum who cannot stand on their two feet and form their own opinions without the influence of others.

Certainly a sad state of affairs.

apple wrote:If I know the man I'm interested in has been divorced, it is my responsibility to find out his view on remarriage. Lets say he is against it, then it is up to me to conform/find balance in the situation or walk away.

Why must you conform/find balance if you wish to marry and your jaded significant other does not?

We all know one cannot change a man. Why bother wasting your time with someone whose viewpoints on marriage are not nsync with your own?

AbstractPoetic · Postby **AbstractPoetic** » February 16th, 2010, 3:09 pm

DevilZ wrote:marriage is pointless..why work hard at something thats pointless?

LOL.

eurogirl · Postby **eurogirl** » February 16th, 2010, 4:18 pm

devrat wrote:
eurogirl wrote:dude

b4 30 and divorced twice

..

somehow how u need to check on u .. no offence eh ..

usually ppl stay married the 2nd time around unless u're devrat and like to fcuk everything tht wears a 2 piece

wait.....................what ?????

hahahahhaa

I knew tht'd catch u're attention!!!

hmm nah i just kidding around .. u like girls in dresses too :lol:

*Phoenix* · Postby ***Phoenix*** » February 16th, 2010, 9:32 pm

VexXx Dogg · Postby **VexXx Dogg** » February 16th, 2010, 9:52 pm

Gonna be joining the married club in a couple months - but that is the culmination of over 8 years of being togther, maturing and making sacrifices.

I can't wait either

Halfbreed07 · Postby **Halfbreed07** » February 16th, 2010, 9:54 pm

VexXx Dogg,
good luck, i have 4 yrs common law under the belt, thinking of doing it this year, if the plans of owning a house materializes

AbstractPoetic · Postby **AbstractPoetic** » February 16th, 2010, 9:55 pm

VexXx Dogg wrote:Gonna be joining the married club in a couple months - but that is the culmination of over 8 years of being togther, maturing and making sacrifices.

I can't wait either

She waited for the ring for 8 yrs?

Interesting.

Halfbreed07 · Postby **Halfbreed07** » February 16th, 2010, 9:56 pm

AbstractPoetic wrote:
VexXx Dogg wrote:Gonna be joining the married club in a couple months - but that is the culmination of over 8 years of being togther, maturing and making sacrifices.

I can't wait either

She waited for the ring for 8 yrs?

Interesting.

i sense 'judgement' in your post...

BIFF · Postby **BIFF** » February 16th, 2010, 9:57 pm

marriage is a wonderful blessing once you find the "right" one who you want to settle down with. it is compromise of sorts but once you and yours have proper communication and understanding it is something that will and can live on forever between two persons.

as for re-marring, it is difficult for one, who has recently exited a relationship, to ever give any proper and clear minded advice on this topic to persons who are new and inquisitive to such a bond, but from my experience a marriage does have it's down's and up's but it the up's after the down's that are worth being with your significant other. i cannot discourage someone from re-marrying, i will just keep it to myself for now, my advice is when you do find that one, even if it is after your first or fifth divorce don't be to objective to the issue of marriage. when a door is closed somewhere a window is open to let you in, unless the place have burglar proof. :mrgreen:

eurogirl · Postby **eurogirl** » February 16th, 2010, 9:57 pm

yea boy ...

my patience cyar last so long nah

:!:

VexXx Dogg · Postby **VexXx Dogg** » February 16th, 2010, 10:13 pm

AbstractPoetic wrote:
VexXx Dogg wrote:Gonna be joining the married club in a couple months - but that is the culmination of over 8 years of being togther, maturing and making sacrifices.

I can't wait either

She waited for the ring for 8 yrs?

Interesting.

nah AP, we started our relationship quite young (she was 18, i was 20). it was a mutual agreement that we were not gonna rush anything. We put our education and careers first, and decided that when we were at a more stable point, we can take it further.

It may abnormally long for the North American subculture, but I think it worked out for the best in our scenario.

Cheers,
-n

Postby **crazybalhead** » February 17th, 2010, 8:39 am

Good plan dey Vexx.

urabus · Postby **urabus** » February 17th, 2010, 8:54 am

8 years, wow, that's alot, but cheers to u and the young lady

so what happens if after that length of time...a couple who had intentions of tying the knot, just lost all feelings for each other?

would you say...too much time had elapsed? OR
would you say, thankfully they didnt get married earlier because of this sudden change in feelings!

robarri · Postby **robarri** » February 17th, 2010, 9:06 am

"Marriage is not about finding someone you can live with, it is finding someone you can't live without" My Speech as a Best man

This is the main problem with marriage, Men go into marriage expecting thier wife not to change and women go into it expecting that men will change.

As it has been said before, Communication is key.
And I do think it is cool for divorced people to remarry, normally they stay together.

Postby **Greypatch** » February 17th, 2010, 9:09 am

usually ppl stay married the 2nd time around unless u're devrat and like to fcuk everything tht wears a 2 piece

Mr. Red Sleeper · Postby **Mr. Red Sleeper** » February 17th, 2010, 9:17 am

Halfbreed07 wrote:
I am starting to think marriage is over rated; what you guys think?

I starting to think yuh late! :roll:

idlemind · Postby **idlemind** » February 17th, 2010, 9:22 am

Getting married on Saturday to my GF of 11 years.

Our plan unfolded the same way as VexXx's.

We have both seen it all, ups and downs and we know each other inside out and still learning.

And even though we have had a house together for the last 18 months we decided to move in only after we are married.

After 11 years the 'head over heels in love' feeling has developed into a mature relationship based on love, respect and trust.

All these things I enjoy now and can enjoy by being unmarried
But marriage is no difference once you are ready to commit and its a promise to continue living your life for the other.