stalest joke competiition

[Solange]

Do you know what happen to the two peanuts in south???????




























They got ah salted.......assulted

[sMASH]

/\ /\ i differentiate u!

[djblademan]

two busciuts walking down d road ....one fall & break he leg.........CRIXXXX!

[Lancer01]

Why was the baby ants so confused????




























































Because all his Uncles were Ants....(aunts)

[Captainzaak]

Like allya fellas take a break with the stale jokes or what?....

[dani22]

if a deaf person gets summoned to court is it still called a HEARING???????

[djblademan]

ah lock up in ah tall tower with no winodws & all he have is ah table....How he gets out
?















he rubs his hand on d wall till it get saw (sore)...
saw the table in half....2 halves make ah hole....he jump tru d hole...bawl till heget horse & then he jump on d horse & ride away....

[Captainzaak]

ah lock up in ah tall tower with no winodws & all he have is ah table....How he gets out
?















he rubs his hand on d wall till it get saw (sore)...
saw the table in half....2 halves make ah hole....he jump tru d hole...bawl till heget horse & then he jump on d horse & ride away....

wtf......

[jeepers]

Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

[nos_specialist]

so tambran, Ice and Curry walkin down d road. And POW POW they hear gunshots

well tambran bawl, Ice scream and Curry Duck

[turbonator]

dat bad

[Nathan]

Bump

[Garrett Inside]

Allyuh hear this one

We Men Should Really Learn To Listen

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!!"

The man immediately leans out his window and replies, "BITC*!!"

They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.









and another.....


A Really Bad Day


There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

[Garrett Inside]

This one lil old

Ancient Chinese Torture

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house.

He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure.

She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.

Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone.

But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion.

He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke in the morning with the feel of pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."

"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about."

He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle."

In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end.

Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

[honda hoe]

^ oh snap

[grad]

a rice truck, a meat truck and peas truck heading towards ah three way intersection and crash ... PE- LAU!!!

dont know if this gone aredy

[SmokeyGTi]

Dat come like de day te bermudez truck run over a cockroach

an u hear CR-IX!

[MG Man]

A Nun and a Priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.
After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke. "Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim."
"I know, Father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can
survive more than a day or two."
"I agree," says the Father. "Sister, since we are unlikely to make
it out of here alive, would you do something for me?"
"Anything, Father."
"I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours."
"Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any
harm."
The Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her
shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty.
"Sister, would you mind if I touched them?" She consented and he
fondled them for several minutes.
"Father, could I ask something of you?"
"Yes, Sister?"
"I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?"
"I suppose that would be OK," the Priest replied lifting his robe.
"Oh Father, may I touch it?"
The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was
sporting a huge erection.
"Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it
can give life."
"Is that true Father?"
"Yes, it is, Sister."
"Oh Father, that's wonderful ... stick it in the camel and let's get the hell out of here!"

[Riley2008]

^

[MG Man]

hhmm..............riley???

[music madness crew]

i doh know if this one was posted already but i go post it any way (30 pages kinda hard to go through on work )

3 doctors, one russian one chinese and one trinidadian, were talking one day at a conference about medical advances made in their various countrys.
so the russian doctor siad that medical technology was so far advanced in hois country that they were able to take a single brain and cut it into half and implant it into 2 bodies and the surgery was so successful that the two individuals were able to lead normal lives and were out looking for work...
in response now the chinese doctor with a little grin on his face proclaimed that medical technology was so far advanced in china that they were able to perform a similar procedure except that instead of halving the brain they cut it into 4 pieces and implanted into 4 bodies and they too were leading normal lives and were out looking for work..
that only left the trinidadian who after giving a heavy sigh responded and said that in trinidad they took one man with no brain and made him prime minister and now he have half the population out looking for work...

[jeepers]

Inventive Excuses for Missing Work

1. I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e*log(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.

2. I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Safeway.

3. Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Broncos, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.

4. I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

5. My stigmata is acting up.

6. I can't come in to work today because I will be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

7. I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet.

[EvoDraZ]

all yuh hear de joke about 1 week old hops?










I hear it stale

[Maserati]

Garrett Inside, nice one

[UML]

AH HAVE AH WINNER!!!

Alpine's in Preysal
Nick's in Charlieville
Pork Sandwich place at the end of the highway on the hill going to M2 Ring Road
Wing's in Pasea
Quan Kep in princes town
Original BBQ in Cipero Road
Krystal's Fried Chicken in Waterloo

u suckin Alpine's wood???

oh rite... u busy sucking Panday one... my bad, i forgot.

BOODOOM DOOM CHING!!!

[Huntress]

What are the biggest ants in the world?














































ElephANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[vin123]

For those who always wanted to know why the chicken crossed the road:
And God came down from the Heavens, and he said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road'' And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing!

[nos_specialist]

^^^ And the earth rumbled and the thunder roared, and loud voice was heard from the heavens saying, thou hath scribed upon this thread a saying which is not joyful, but brings laughter to the soul

[DFC]

Here is the bess joke...

A confident Prime Minister Patrick Manning yesterday reassured the national community that the current economic downturn, gripping the world and Trinidad and Tobago, was temporary in nature, "merely a blip".

"That too shall pass"

lol....now that is funny

[vin123]

i thought blip does be on radars?