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stalest joke competiition

this is how we do it.......

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SmokeyGTi
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Postby SmokeyGTi » October 29th, 2008, 2:47 pm

A bus was involved in an accident on the busy PBR on Friday afternoon.

As expected, traffic came to a stand-still, and a large vocal crowd gathered. A male reporter from one of our 'big' newspapers, anxious to get his story could not get near the bus or the victim(s). Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, Allyuh lemme pass, lemme through! Is Meh Muddah wey get lick dong!!"

The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the bus was a donkey.

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ImprezaDriver
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Postby ImprezaDriver » November 2nd, 2008, 6:18 pm

a little girl sees her mommy in the shower, points to her beaver and asks, "mommy what's that? Mommy says "that's a beaver"
the little girl replies "when will i get one of those?" mommy says "when you're older dear, now run along." The girl runs into the other room and sees daddy undressing, points to his wang and asks "daddy what's that?" daddy says that's a ****! the little girl asks '"when will i get one of those?" daddy says.."as soon as your mother leaves for work."

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skylinechild
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Postby skylinechild » November 2nd, 2008, 10:41 pm

^^^^ WTF :shock:

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evo_chic
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Postby evo_chic » November 3rd, 2008, 12:29 am

oh gadd.... dats not ah funny joke and it eh stale either... more like scary.

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evo_chic
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Postby evo_chic » November 3rd, 2008, 12:31 am

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to firetruck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

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evo_chic
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Postby evo_chic » November 3rd, 2008, 12:33 am

How are women and tornadoes alike?






















They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

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evo_chic
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Postby evo_chic » November 3rd, 2008, 12:35 am

There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it.

Doctor: What was the problem?

Elderly man: Well, I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing.

Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?!

Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.

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ImprezaDriver
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Postby ImprezaDriver » November 3rd, 2008, 9:19 am

evo_chic wrote:oh gadd.... dats not ah funny joke and it eh stale either... more like scary.


whats scary is that avatar...you look like an anorexic chucky's bride

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kaiger
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Postby kaiger » November 3rd, 2008, 12:05 pm

ImprezaDriver wrote:
evo_chic wrote:oh gadd.... dats not ah funny joke and it eh stale either... more like scary.


whats scary is that avatar...you look like an anorexic chucky's bride


best stale joke ever :lol: :shock: :lol:

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pimptacular
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Postby pimptacular » November 3rd, 2008, 12:31 pm

ImprezaDriver wrote:
evo_chic wrote:oh gadd.... dats not ah funny joke and it eh stale either... more like scary.


whats scary is that avatar...you look like an anorexic chucky's bride
:rofl:

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evo_chic
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Postby evo_chic » November 7th, 2008, 12:00 am

doh h8 it coz u ain't got it!

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vimal_vs
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Postby vimal_vs » November 7th, 2008, 12:18 am

^ *hold backs tongue* ..

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evo_chic
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Postby evo_chic » November 7th, 2008, 12:20 am

vimal_vs wrote:^ *hold backs tongue* ..



meaning???

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hong kong phooey
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Postby hong kong phooey » November 7th, 2008, 6:22 am

Visit To The Welfare Office

A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids.
'WOW!' the social worker exclaims. 'Are they all yours?'
''Yep,they are all mine,' the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a
thousand times before.
She says, 'Sit down Leroy.'
All the children rush to find seats.
'Well,' says the social worker, 'then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's
names.
''Well,to keep it simple, the boys are all named 'Leroy' and the girls are all named 'Leighroy'.'
In disbelief, the case worker said 'Are you serious? They're ALL named Leroy?'
Their momma replied, 'Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it's time to get them out of bed and ready
for school, I yell, 'Leroy!' An when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' an they all comes a
runnin. An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell Leroy' and all of them
stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Leroy.'
The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, 'But
what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?'
'Then I call them by their last names.'

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jeepers
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Postby jeepers » November 7th, 2008, 8:57 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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hong kong phooey
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Postby hong kong phooey » November 7th, 2008, 7:57 pm

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said,'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving toeach other for all this time,
I will grant you each a wish.'
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful
bastards should remember fairies are female.....

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evo_chic
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Postby evo_chic » November 8th, 2008, 1:23 am

WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY

This is a true story. Last week was my 40th birthday and I really didn’t feel like waking up that morning. I managed to pull myself together and go downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy Birthday!â€

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hong kong phooey
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Postby hong kong phooey » November 8th, 2008, 2:41 am

why not to get married

A newlywed Trini couple had only been married for two weeks. Thehusband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on thetown and party with his old buddies so he said to his new wife, 'Baby,ah coming back.'
'Where yuh going, honey bunny?' asked the wife.
'Ah going by de bar, dahlin. Ah going and drink a beer.' The wife said,'Yuh want a beer, my love?' She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 differentkinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Trinidad & Tobabo ,Germany , Jamaica, Holland , Guyana, Japan , America , etc.
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he couldthink of saying was,'Yes, sweetness...but by de bar...yuh know...deyhave frozen glasses...'
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted himby saying, 'Yuh want a frozen glass, puppy face?'She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she wasgetting chills just holdingit.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, chunkulunks, but by de bardey have dem cutters that does go down REAL good... Ah wouldn't be long,ah coming back now. Ah promise.
OK?'You want cutters, doo-doo?' She opened the oven and took out five dishesof different cutters: chicken wings, geera pork, fried wantons etc.
'But pumpkin...By de bar... Yuh know...it have cussin, dirty words and all that...
''Yuh want cussin,? Drink yuh f**king beer in yuh mudda c*nt frozen glass and eat yuh f***ing cutters. Yuh marrid now, and yuh ain't f**king going nowhere! Not ah f**k atdat! Get it? Yuh big c*nt!'

.......and, they lived happily ever after.

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evo_chic
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Postby evo_chic » November 8th, 2008, 4:10 pm

:| :shock: :mrgreen:

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sMASH
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Postby sMASH » November 10th, 2008, 10:13 pm

one of my friends is ah chinee ting and one day i see she wit ah bess indian ting and ah red gyul dat not too bad neither. i aks she who dem be,,, she say dat dem is she younger sisters ( all ah dem take from deh fadda sides)

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fuzz_174
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Postby fuzz_174 » November 10th, 2008, 10:15 pm

^^

WTF

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skylinechild
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Postby skylinechild » November 11th, 2008, 3:22 am

this one is thanks to CBH.....i know it in another thread..... but here we bound to get more kicks.....thanks CBH

It was a quiet night in the rural village of Craignesh in South Trinidad. I had just brought in the goats from grazing, and gave the cow some cut grass. The weather was ominous, you've all experienced it...the overcast evenings. It was dark since midday, so it was hard to tell what the actual time was...and again very quiet.

Just as I was rinsing off the stink of the cow pen from knee high rubber boots, I started thinking of her...sweet sumintra, the pommerac of my eye, the hog plum of my dreams.

Coincidentally, and some may say fatefully, I heard a small voice calling my name softly...seductively from the bhaji patch, behind the fig trees...

I became dizzy with anticipation at the sound of my name. I dropped the boots and slipped on my good rubber slippers. I was very ashamed at the red ones I had repaired with the safety pin the week before.

I quickly glanced over to the house. Yes Ma was still kneading a loya to make roti for us. Pa's bicycle was not outside, he was probably on his second or third nip of puncheon by now. He did, after all, take milk and dasheen to sell in market this morning. Ma was kneading furiously, I thought it might be an even better idea to slip away now and avoid the inevitable confrontation later...

I picked my way in the darkness through the peas patch, walking carefully on the concrete blocks that formed an improvised path to the fig trees and the beckoning voice in the bhaji leaves beyond.

Although cool, it was humid, as if just about to rain. I was sweating, perhaps it was the humidity, perhaps it was the humidity...in my second hand jockey shorts I got from my uncle Raj Mohan two years ago.

Although I had admired Sumintra from afar, I had only a few fleeting words with her before now;

"Dais a nice dress you have on",

"Yuh does brush yuh teeth real white gyul!"

Trifling words now when I think about the momentous occasion that was about to present itself...

I came upon the edge of the full, deep green bhaji's, there she was...Sumintra. She was not one of these modern girls with their Hi-Fi radios, and lipstick and all of that stuff. I never understood this penchant for these skinny girls either.

Sumintra was plump and healthy looking, she enjoyed her food almost to an erotic extent. I remember stealing furtive glances at her, scooping a handful of paratha and curry aloo, with a little mother-in-law, such skill and dexterity.

Her large breasts were showing a little under the dark blue sari. She laid out an old sheet and had a silver pt and something in a cloth wrap laying next to her.

I drank in her expansive frame right down to her well spread toes, an excellent and attractive trait of girls working in the lagoon....

Sumintra made a signal for me to sit, I did so as delicately as I could, not wanting to ruin the moment with any boisterous behaviors.

She opened the pot and cloth;

"Yuh want some roti and eddoes tackharee?"

My favorite!

I Ate it gratefully, she had some as well. I don't have to remind you about the seductiveness of her eating. This woman did not eat she made love to her food...

She pursed her full lips while she ate her roti and tackharee...I started to get a strange stirring in those old...old jockey shorts...she took notice and started lifting the the hem of her sari.

At the same time she pulled down one side of her sari blouse to reveal a huge breast with a nipple the size of a cork ball. Her nipple was erect and looked like a governor plum ready to be picked.

She dipped a quarter roti in the eddoes tackaree and started to make small circles around her nipple, leaving the eddoes sauce trailing around the circumference...

Sumintra deftly pulled down the other side of her top, I was astonished to see another perfectly matched breast staring back at me.

By this time the sari had been pulled all the way up as well, I got a glimpse of a humungous pink polyester thing lurking below.

I groaned in anticipation...

Sumintra asked me to take of the parachute sized polyester garment, I did so with trembling hands and a soul that trembled even more. Just as I got it off, a crack of thunder and a flash of lightening, briefly illuminating what looked like a good sized uncooked eddoes (the irony). The image seared unto my mind forever!

I made a tremulous movement to enter...she beckoned me with those over Kajalled eyes...

It began drizzling, I heard the torrent coming in from the northeast, howling, pulsing ever closer...Sumintra moaned softly...

The rain was pounding now, it went from drizzle to downpour in seconds, I could not take it any more, before I entered her, I felt a warm feeling welling up inside me...

"No, NOT NOW!!!!!", I shouted.

I could not believe it!


Pfft pfffffffft squirt....


It was all over. I ran home in the rain, thankful that that I had been drenched and the water covered up my tears and embarrassment...I will never forget Sumintra's mocking laughter as my one good rubber slipper got caught in the mud trying to flee the traumatic scene...

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slimshiney
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Postby slimshiney » November 11th, 2008, 8:17 am

TWO ROTI LIMIN IN D ROTI CLOTH…...

SO ONE ROTI SAY ''' BOYY TINGS REL HARD.. I FEELIN REL Down and out..
D OTHER ROTI SAY .. '' HMM , U FEEL YOU HAVE IT HARD. MY ROTI SKIN DRY,

AN MY WIFE LEAVE ME FOR Ah PIECE AH PARATHA''




D FIRST ROTI .. '' WAYYY BOY.. YOU REALLY D ‘’SADA ROTI''

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evo_chic
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Postby evo_chic » November 12th, 2008, 1:35 pm

:shock: skylinechild and CBH.... LMAO!!!!! :rofl:

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nickie poo
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Postby nickie poo » November 12th, 2008, 2:51 pm

slimshiney wrote:TWO ROTI LIMIN IN D ROTI CLOTH…...

SO ONE ROTI SAY ''' BOYY TINGS REL HARD.. I FEELIN REL Down and out..
D OTHER ROTI SAY .. '' HMM , U FEEL YOU HAVE IT HARD. MY ROTI SKIN DRY,

AN MY WIFE LEAVE ME FOR Ah PIECE AH PARATHA''




D FIRST ROTI .. '' WAYYY BOY.. YOU REALLY D ‘’SADA ROTI''



dat real bad... :) :) :)

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greatbear
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Postby greatbear » November 15th, 2008, 3:52 pm

ah indian crab walkin dong de road!!.

ah car roll over im, wah he bawl????










mih hut mih gundy!!!

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area6
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Postby area6 » December 18th, 2008, 10:56 pm

whta u does call ah indian in RPM,,,,,,,DAN--singh

why chinee cyah play football cause when u give them a corner they does open up shop

and why indian cyah play football,,when u give them a foul,,,they does curry it

ah time in maracas they pull over a car tinted heavy in front and had a slighter shade of tint towards the back,,,the police stop them and over the mic in the police car say step out of the car you are being charged for g5 tint,,mixed worst yet with a brown fade,,,then all of a suden two rasta and thre indian padners exit the car and the tint gone,,

i know it stale so i go shut up now,,,

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coldplay
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Postby coldplay » December 19th, 2008, 1:42 am

what did mummy tomato and daddy tomato say to baby tomato when he couldnt keep up with the sunday afternoon walk :roll:








































































































KETCHUP :lol:

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coldplay
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Postby coldplay » December 19th, 2008, 1:46 am

AH BAJAN PAINT HIMSELF GREEN AND JUMP IN A BANANA BOAT TO TRINIDAD, THE BOAT TOOK THREE DAYS TO REACH TRINIDAD, WHEN THEY REACH ALL THE BANANA RIPE

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Chiney
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Postby Chiney » December 19th, 2008, 7:14 pm

coldplay wrote:AH BAJAN PAINT HIMSELF GREEN AND JUMP IN A BANANA BOAT TO TRINIDAD, THE BOAT TOOK THREE DAYS TO REACH TRINIDAD, WHEN THEY REACH ALL THE BANANA RIPE



ROFL

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