YOUR AUTOMOTIVE "DUHHH" MOMENTS lol

[Hook]

there's not much difference in the force used between hooking it and locking it breds! THAT is real laziness!

[sMASH]

in retrospect, i does wonder sumtimes...

[mitsuboi]

Kool thread ....rel funny stories ....keep dem up.....

Dis one time my head was bad (b4 breathalyzer btw) .....so i stop in d quikshop on d cross, park normel but had a girlie in d car so leave it running and all glass up.......gone buy my smokes and jump in d car normel.....look to my left and did not see d girlie but instead see some rasta dude watchin me .......i was like "wa u doing here?" he was like " wa YOU doing here?" ........i look inside d car and notice is a different deck.......look across to my right only to see d girlie laffin she fackin a$$ off inside my car cuz i jump in a nx man car..

[Hook]

so what did BANzai do after y'all realize d mistake?

[mitsuboi]

Banzai maybe laff he fackin a$$ off too...........or maybe tell he padna he get make out.....cya get ketch in no stock 1.5 lansaa

[Mercenary]

Kool thread ....rel funny stories ....keep dem up.....

Dis one time my head was bad (b4 breathalyzer btw) .....so i stop in d quikshop on d cross, park normel but had a girlie in d car so leave it running and all glass up.......gone buy my smokes and jump in d car normel.....look to my left and did not see d girlie but instead see some rasta dude watchin me .......i was like "wa u doing here?" he was like " wa YOU doing here?" ........i look inside d car and notice is a different deck.......look across to my right only to see d girlie laffin she fackin a$$ off inside my car cuz i jump in a nx man car..

LOL

[sMASH]

^^ that hadda take the cake.
i had always imagined that happening with the goat-pen houses the government build for people on the south end of the highway... all dem ting look de same

[GTcruzer]

1) When i first got the 14, i packing the trunk with stuff & mistakenly rest keys in the trunk & close it. Realise that the keys remain in the trunk, I start to panic cuz is the first time I do this. Now I fighting to reach in the trunk through the back seat. Almost fully removed the back seat before pops ask me why I doing that. Tell him the scene, he gone on the side laughing. Ask him why he doh help me, he say, "You ain't realise you inside the car already? Just pull the trunk lever."

2) when I used to frequent trincity mall, I used to park on the side with CC8. One day the gf say she wanted to go in pennywise so i decide to park by tru value side instead. When we done walk the mall & ready to go, the whole parking lane to the front was empty so I decide I'll just drive forward instead of reversing out the park not realising there's a barrier between parks on this side unlike up by CC8 :/ mashed up my front bumper.

3) 1st time I had driven my cousin's crown was at night. Mash the e-brake (footpedal) by mistake on a red light & couldn't find where the release was. Was me alone in the car & is the worse looking for a switch in a car you never drive before & worse yet, at night.

4) pardna of mine had a remote start alarm for his van. Gone in a fete, gyal wining on him. When we ready to leave, man van ontop a next man car.

[Rooki3]

wtf @ #4

[Hook]

@ #4

[AllTrac]

GTcruzer, remote start doesnt work that way. It wont engage ignition if the transmission is in any other gear other than park. You also need to put the key into ignition and turn it before you can select a gear and if someone is sitting behind the wheel when the vehicle starts remotely, as soon as they depress the brake pedal the engine cuts of as long as the key is not in ignition.
As for manual cars, the transmission has to be in neutral for the remote start to work.

[TheBoostLord]

^^ van so most likely manual and you can bypass the safety features while doing the install if you wish. I know some ppl have done it b4 dunno y tho.

[AllTrac]

but for a manual, even if the safety features are disabled and the van was parked in a gear (1st or reverse), it wont start when the ignition is engaged, it would just jump forward a bit, but not enough to end up on top of a car then there is the added force of the hand brakes

[X_Factor]

happened this wednesday
one of the coolant hose burst in my fathers b14
its no more than 8" long and it connects the thermostat housing to a metal pipe at the back of the engine

so it took me 3hrs to get it off, and 2hrs trying to put it back, even took off the oil filter (lol)
eventually got fed up and fustrated pelting away a 10spanner which i had to go look for after (lol)

so ny father went got a mechanic, the mechanic then proceeds to unbolt the metal pipe which is only held by 2-10bolts which i didnt know could come off and in a matter of 15mins the hose was changed
stupes!
wasted 5 hrs of my life

[cinco]

but for a manual, even if the safety features are disabled and the van was parked in a gear (1st or reverse), it wont start when the ignition is engaged, it would just jump forward a bit, but not enough to end up on top of a car then there is the added force of the hand brakes

ummm if u constantly tumble in a manual it can climb another car
i can show you a fence in New York that will disagree

[VK-Sportsman]

@Alltrac, Took me a few minutes to find the bonnet release in the escudo

[GTcruzer]

That's what we thought but it happened. If I had a camera phone back then, I'm would have taken a pic. We were as dumbfounded as you were reading it. Guess that's why they call them "Freak accidents"
When we parked, the other car wasn't there so we don't know how close the other car was & if it was the van just jerk forward & end up so or moved more. Guessing was the drop low Almera facing a older model hilux.

[AllTrac]

but for a manual, even if the safety features are disabled and the van was parked in a gear (1st or reverse), it wont start when the ignition is engaged, it would just jump forward a bit, but not enough to end up on top of a car then there is the added force of the hand brakes

ummm if u constantly tumble in a manual it can climb another car
i can show you a fence in New York that will disagree

well ohgoarrr dat is dem 5.7lt V8, earth shattering tork at 0.000005rpms

[Chimera]

GTcruzer, remote start doesnt work that way. It wont engage ignition if the transmission is in any other gear other than park. You also need to put the key into ignition and turn it before you can select a gear and if someone is sitting behind the wheel when the vehicle starts remotely, as soon as they depress the brake pedal the engine cuts of as long as the key is not in ignition.
As for manual cars, the transmission has to be in neutral for the remote start to work.

theres a story somewhere on tuner where a man rx8 gone across the road and into someone gate when his remote start malfunction

[cinco]

but for a manual, even if the safety features are disabled and the van was parked in a gear (1st or reverse), it wont start when the ignition is engaged, it would just jump forward a bit, but not enough to end up on top of a car then there is the added force of the hand brakes

ummm if u constantly tumble in a manual it can climb another car
i can show you a fence in New York that will disagree

well ohgoarrr dat is dem 5.7lt V8, earth shattering tork at 0.000005rpms

actually wuz a 1.7 civic
so yuh know is not torque

[marlener]

Install ah turbo timer ah get from ah partner,gone to make ah run on the highway and looking at the a/r reading. Reach home timer set at ah minute thirty,gone inside.About 25 minutes after the wifey asking why I ent switch off the car.Yuh know the man set meh up and sell meh ah old timer that that not working.

Years ago changing old in my father old model benz,not sure how much oil it does take,throw in 6 quarters and still not getting a reading on the stick.Gone and ask my father.You know I forget to screw in the drain cork and oil all under the car.

[Hook]

@ d drainplug faux pas

http://www.funny2.com/oil.htm

Men vs. Women: How to Change Oil
It really is different.

WOMEN:

1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube or Valvoline Instant Oil Change when the mileage reaches 3,000 miles since the last oil change.

2. Drink a cup of coffee while they change the oil.

3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Cost: $29.99 oil change, $2.00 coffee. Total $32.00

MEN:

1. Wait until Saturday, drive to the auto parts store. Buy a case of oil, oil filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner (don't forget a little tree air freshener). Write a check to the auto parts store for approximately $50.

2. Stop by 7/11 on the way home, buy a case of beer. Write a check for $20.00.

3. Drive home with oil and beer.

4. Open beer, enjoy it.

5. Spend 30 minutes looking for the jack stands.

6. Find the jack stands (finally) under the kid's pedal car, jack the car up.

7. Open another beer, drink it.

8. Place drain pan under engine.

9. Look for 9/16" box end wrench for drain plug

10. Give up looking ten minutes later, find crescent wrench.

11. Unscrew drain plug.

12. Drop drain plug into pan of hot oil. Splash hot oil onto your hands and face in the process. Cuss and swear.

13. Crawl out from under car, wipe hot oil from hands and face. Throw some kitty litter on the spilled oil.

14. Open another beer while watching the last drops of oil drain.

15. Spend 30 minutes looking for the oil filter wrench.

16. Give up looking for oil filter wrench, crawl under car and hammer a flat-head screwdriver through the oil filter and twist it off.

17. Crawl out from under car, splashing hot oil everywhere from newly made holes in oil filter.

18. Cleverly hide used oil filter in trash to avoid those pesky environmental penalties. Open another beer.

19. Install new oil filter, making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to the gasket.

20. Pour the first quart of new oil into engine.

21. Oops! Now remember the drain plug (removed in step 11). It's still swimming in the now-warm oil in the drain pan.

22. Throw more kitty litter on the quart-sized oil puddle on the floor.

23. Open another beer and drink it.

24. Find drain plug with a minimum of spillage, hand-tighten in drain plug socket. Drink beer.

25. Crawl under car (getting oily kitty litter embedded in neck and arms). Tighten drain plug with crescent wrench, but this time, it's slippery. Bang your knuckles on the frame while tightening drain plug.

26. Throw crescent wrench across the garage in anger. Throw a fit because crescent wrench hits bowling trophy (which wife wouldn't let stay in the house).

27. Open another beer and drink it.

28. Clean hands, bandaging where needed to stop blood flow.

29. Pour in five quarts of fresh oil.

30. Lower car from jack stands. Smile at your handiwork. Open another beer and drink it.

31. Move car back to discover oil puddles you missed; apply more kitty litter to missed areas.

32. Test drive car to make sure oil doesn't leak.

33. Get pulled over a block from the house by local police, get arrested for DUI.

34. Call loving wife and bail bondsman.

35. Next day, get car out of impound yard.

Cost: $50 parts, $20 beer, Impound fee $75, Bail $1500, DUI $2500 minimum. Total $4145 (but you know the job was done right!)

[alleykat2020]

So I got my second vehicle at around age 25, a PAT Mazda 323.

Lived at the mechanic with the first one, so decided to troubleshoot a noise coming from the rear left side myself to save some cash.

Found it. Fuel filler neck was knocking against the body of the car where it came through the hole.

Yes !!!! I can fix that. Jacked up the car, removed the left rear wheel, secured the filler neck bracket with a new bolt, split some rubber hose in 2 and put it around the filler neck hole to isolate the filler neck from the body and BAM !!!! Fixed it !!!!

Eager to test out my innovation. Grabs keys, jumps in, starts, puts in first gear, revs up and drives right off.......................de fkucin' jack !!!!

I so excited to test drive de car, I didn't even notice that I move de friggin' wheel away from de car to avoid rolling over it. FOR SHAME !!!!!!

De jack end up under de car and dent de gas tank. Gas gauge never read correct after that.



Ketch mih ass to get it off de lawn. Lesson learnt..............after fixing yuh car yuhself, nix de excitement, calm de fkuc dong and double check your sheit.

[pablo_tt]

A morning I pull d bonnet to check coolant level, oil etc.
Reach back inside to get a rag and watch d time. Forget d rag, grab my bag and fly outta d house.

Heading up the h/way and wondering WTF that noise is, but meaintakin' it on, I jus crank up d music and kept going, only to reach to work and as I open the gate and walking back to the car, I realize my bonnet open. *facepalm*

Left 4010 in Mapau a time, reach home, change clothes and eating normal. Wondering why my mom watching me all the time, when I spin around she calmly asks "Didn't you forget something?" Pointing to the empty space in the driveway.

[crazybalhead]

Hook,

So many of those oil change things true eh.

[Dizzy28]

My automotive Duh moment kinna - Have license 15 years now and have never personally:
1. Changed a tyre
2. Changed Oil

If the moment comes up I am sure I would have some kinna story to tell.

[silent_riot]

Hook, steps 1-32 happened to me when I changed an a341 transmission filter, gasket & oil.
I was covered in old transmission oil for the better part of the day.

[turbosingh]

I remembered this like yesterday,in 1995 my dad bought a mint white 280c it was like the best thing ever lol.So the whole family, six off us load up an gone Gulf City so after the mall we head to car not knowing its another 280c the key open the next man car start up an we headed to KFC only to realize that it had a Etiopia flag on the dash board!Everybody jump back in the car head back Gulf park up then realize we car park 2 lanes down everybody just watch each other an coudn't stop laughing

[Les Bain]

I remembered this like yesterday,in 1995 my dad bought a mint white 280c it was like the best thing ever lol.So the whole family, six off us load up an gone Gulf City so after the mall we head to car not knowing its another 280c the key open the next man car start up an we headed to KFC only to realize that it had a Etiopia flag on the dash board!Everybody jump back in the car head back Gulf park up then realize we car park 2 lanes down everybody just watch each other an coudn't stop laughing

[gastly369]

was adjusting the alternator belt and last few pulls on the spanner it en up touching(lock/stuck) between the alternator positive(+ve) post and the bolt(-ve).. :\

had to rush to take out the terminals from the battery