stalest joke competiition

[AbstractPoetic]

[crazybalhead]

:|

I WIIIIN!

[South Man]

Yuh mudder so black, if she sat in a Jacuzzi the water would turn into coffee.

[South Man]

Ya muder Like garlic,50cents ah head..































Sorry dey

[Advil]

yuh wa hear a joke????
















































yuh sure yuh wah hear a joke?

[shotta 20]

Ah pardner mother tell him to go and buy some doughnuts........









Mih boy come back bout 10 minutes later with he hand swingin empty.......... and his moms askin where d doughnuts????











Mr man say..... i didn't bother to buy it cause all d doughnuts spoil, i saw holes in them !!!

[ChristianRD]

Yo mama have ah big t!t and ah small t!t an dey call d b!tch Biggie Smallz

[G-T]

Ah kinda longish one...

A man walks into a bar that his padna says has the most amazing thing. While he there a guy from in the bar walks into a ring with a 20 foot crocodile, takes out his penis rests it in the crocs mouth closes the teeth so they are just baaaaarely touching his dick and proceeds to cuff the sheit out of the crocodile.

After bout 20 minutes of this, all the bar patrons are amazed to see the crocodile has not moved a muscle and all the fella business in tact.

So the fella who came for the first time looking at this and his padna watches him and says:

"That thing real easy man, yuh want to give it a try?"

Fella says:

"Maaaaaaaaaaan, I not sure I could keep my mouth open for so long nah!"

you win!!

[Turbo]

Aite Aite hear dis 1 - What line would Machel Montano change in his song "Jumbie" if he had a Civic Type R?












Jumbie - Jumbie Dem
Jumbie - Jumbie Dem
Jumbie - Jumbie Dem
Out of Vtec - Back 2 no torque now.............

[ChristianRD]

We will all live in peace and unity under PNM

[ChristianRD]

A woman three months pregnant falls into a deep coma. Six months later, she awakes and asks the nearest doctor about the fate of her baby.

"You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine," says the doctor. "Luckily, your brother named them for you."

"Oh $hite, not by brother! He's an idiot! What did he call the girl?"

"Denise," the doctor replies.

Thinking that isn't so bad, she asks, "And what did he call the boy?"

The doctor answers, "Denephew."

[ChristianRD]

Two Blonde men were in the woods camping. One looked at the other and said, "I've got to take a $hite."

The other said, "Well go behind one of those big trees, and $hite."

The first one said, "But I don't have any paper to wipe my arse." The other blonde replied, "You have a dollar, don't you?"

The first one said, "Yeah, I've got a dollar. That's a great idea-- I'll use that!"

He left and came back with $hite all over his hands and clothes.

His friend looked at him and asked, "What in the hell happened to you?"

The first one replied, "Have you ever tried to wipe your arse with three 25 cents, two 10 cents, and a 5 cent?"

[jeepers]

your head so big

if a lizard start to walk on your had on one side..by the time it reach the other it is a dinosaur

[Dragsta]

yuh Nose soo big, ah Ants have to pass round yuh head to take ah short cut

[Rainman]

WHY MEN DON'T WRITE ADVICE COLUMNS

> > Dear Walter:
> > I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work
> > leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't
> > gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and
> > the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's
> > help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the
> > bedroom with a neighbor lady making mad passionate love to her. I am
> > 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When
> > I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having
> > an affair for the past six months.
> > I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job
> > six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly
> > depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave
> > him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I
> > can get through to him anymore.
> > Can you please help?
> > Sincerely,
> > Mrs.. Sheila Usk
> >
> >
> > Dear Sheila:
> > A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by
> > a variety of faults with the engine.
> > Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is
> > clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the
> > inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it
> > could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery
> > pressure to the carburetor float chamber.
> > I hope this helps.
> > Walter

[jeepers]

my mother told me to paint the house yellow
























i painted it green and told her it will get ripe.

[ronsin1]

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then..." He sighed...

"Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box..."

[serendipity]

i get this in a text this morning
toooooo stale not to share

Question: What's the difference between a bike and the COP?


























Answer: A bike has a seat

[gfbl]

[quote="Turbo"]aite aite fellas's time 2 close d ched.

was d difference between a BMX & COP



























a BMX hav 1 seat - COP hav none.........................


[/quote

[Turbo]

aite aite fellas's time 2 close d ched.

was d difference between a BMX & COP

























a BMX hav 1 seat - COP hav none.........................


[/quote

das d origianl version

[ronsin1]

One day, a cowboy rode into a Wild, Wild West town. The people in the town love to play jokes on visitors. After tying his horse to the pole outside a bar, the cowboy went in. "A cup of milk please." he said to the bartender. After drinking, he went out, only to find his horse missing. Knowing that the villagers did it, he went back into the bar and said to everybody," I am going to have another drink and when I finish it, I want to see my horse outside! Or else, I will have to do what I did in Texas - HERE!" The people were very frightened. When he finished his drink, he went outside and saw his horse. The villagers had put it back. Curious, the bartender asked the cowboy,â€

[ImprezaDriver]

your mother is like a taxi cab





















everybody can get a ride

[Strauss]

Ever hear about the dyslectic insomniac?

He used to wake up all night wondering if there is a dog.

[jeepers]

baby joke

a woman very excited on delivering her first child went to the doctor to ask about heakth questions



woman:doc so what you recommend ?how the baby will grow?




doctor:well jus give it a pound ah bananas ...if it aint climbing and swinging in two months,bring it back

[Zim]

Why in a gangster's wedding no food is served?


Badman doh cater

A man goes into a drug store to buy a pack of condoms. He pays the Pharmacist. The Pharmacist gives him the condoms and 25¢. the man asks "What's with the 25¢?"





















The Pharmacist replies "If you can't cum, you'll call"

[pornstar4777]

Thus far Hondaho and Zim representing

[Zim]

thx

YUh hear bout d two gay guys dat drown in Mayaro last week hoss???




























Dey was tryin tuh touch bottom

[jeepers]

insulting jokes

ur head so big that when a barber givin yopu a hair cut.they mark up to be continued on ur head

ur ears so big .if u run too fast u may pick up like a kite.



just beacuse yuh black ,black ,black n smelling strong strong strong.yuh feel yuh is coffee?

[jeepers]

y the skeleton could not have assassinate the president???




























cause he had no belly

[jeepers]

Maths question


if it take to men to gig a whole in day. how long will it take for one man to dig a half of hole????




























it hav no such thing as half of an hole.a hole is a hole