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And now we shall move on to the good stuff from the past 12 months. On television recently, I said the best car from the year was the Caterham R500 but it’s important to remember that the criterion we were looking for was very specific. The winner had to do more than you could reasonably expect for the money.
The Nissan GT-R was a contender because it costs almost half as much as a Porsche 911 Turbo and yet around the Nürburgring – and such things do matter with cars like this – it is faster. Then you have the VW Scirocco, which costs, as near as makes no difference, the same as the Golf GTI on which it is based. And yet it’s so much more desirable. But the winner had to be the little Caterham, which is faster round the Top Gear track than the Bugatti Veyron . . . even though it costs about 30 times less.
However, if you broaden the search engine and look simply for the best car of the year, the Caterham isn’t in with a shout because it’s ugly and geeky and I wouldn’t have one even if the option was the loss of my right testicle.
Best car, then? Hmmm. You cannot discount the Rolls-Royce Phantom drophead because it is exquisite in almost every way. Nor can we ignore the Fiat 500 Abarth because it’s just so bouncy and wonderful and so full of enthusiasm. I don’t think it would be possible to be in a bad mood while driving this car. And soon there will be a 200bhp version with a spoiler the size of Middlesex on the roof. That’ll make the Mini Cooper look like a brogue.
However, the car I’ve selected wins because it’s just such a surprise.
Over the years there have been a great many Corvettes, and none of them, if we’re honest, have been any good. Oh, there have been some fast ones and some with great charisma. Mostly, they have been pretty as well. But to drive? No. They were the automotive equivalent of Big Macs. Cheap, plastic and at the right time, and in the right place, sort of just what you want. But like I said. Just no.
And then out of nowhere came the ZR1, which has a supercharged V8 that manages to be both docile and extraordinarily savage all at the same time. I’ve been trying to think of a dog that pulls off a similar trick, but there isn’t one. And anyway, this car is not a dog.
Oh, it’s not built very well. After just three days in my care, the boot lock disintegrated and the keyless go system refused to acknowledge the keys were in the car, but I didn’t mind because there is simply no other car that looks this good, goes this fast – in a straight line and around corners – and that most of the time bumbles about like a forgetful uncle. And when you throw in the price tag of just £106,690 – lots for a Corvette but modest next to a similarly powerful Ferrari – the case for the defence can sit down and put up its feet knowing that the prosecutor simply has nowhere to go.
It is an epic car and I’m only sad that unless the healthcare and pensions company that makes it can be turned around, it will be the last of the breed.
Indeed, I worry that the next 12 months will bring us many wrecks, many drownings and absolutely nothing to laugh at at all. I shall therefore stop short of wishing you a prosperous new year. Instead, I shall hope that in our new-found poverty, we can still all be happy.
Chevrolet Corvette ZR1
Engine: 6162cc, supercharged V8
Power: 638bhp @ 6500rpm
Torque: 604 lb ft @ 3800rpm
Transmission: Six-speed manual
Fuel: 18.8mpg (combined) 355g/km CO2
Acceleration: 0-60mph: 3.4sec
Top speed: 205mph
Team Loco wrote:i think Clarkson has given in to BBC. he's under pressure. its not like him to choose an American car
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