Arranged Marriages

[ray d saint]

Do they happen in Trini.....

One question.....

How in a modern age like this that these old traditions still happen and i am of the opinion that some parents force it unto their kids.....


Comments Welcomed...

[megadoc1]

it had a story on this a while back on guardian
check it out
http://www.guardian.co.tt/archives/2008 ... ures4.html
nice article

[skylinechild]

it does still happen.....i know a girl.....lets call her ann for short....really smart.....mommy an daddy real rich....she went holy faith and now goin uwi an stuff......

u think it matter who she like......is who mommy an daddy like is who she marrying....

mommy an daddy doh want no son in law who poor ( but who does work dam hard and is an honest fella) and will bring shame in d family.....so they will arrange someone for she when she ready to marry......

is all what the parent want.....not the child....mommy and daddy always win...

just my 2 cents there

[RASC]

For the record.
If the African population had kept their culture as in the same way East-Indians did it would've also been very common placed within the Afro-Trini Diaspora.
So before any idiots come chiming in about "Kewlee ppl" just know that it happens in MOST if not all eastern cultures to this very day.
Continue

[azeem]

ways skylinechild, it jus sound like she brace yuh an din wha hurt yuh feelings

[Snags]

ways skylinechild, it jus sound like she brace yuh an din wha hurt yuh feelings

lmao whaaaa

[buzz]

it happens

[bluespeed]

it does still happen.....i know a girl.....lets call her ann for short....really smart.....mommy an daddy real rich....she went holy faith and now goin uwi an stuff......

u think it matter who she like......is who mommy an daddy like is who she marrying....

mommy an daddy doh want no son in law who poor ( but who does work dam hard and is an honest fella) and will bring shame in d family.....so they will arrange someone for she when she ready to marry......

is all what the parent want.....not the child....mommy and daddy always win...

just my 2 cents there

it's called....... "pawn yuh daughter syndrome"....

[TriniVdub]

it does still happen.....i know a girl.....lets call her ann for short....really smart.....mommy an daddy real rich....she went holy faith and now goin uwi an stuff......

u think it matter who she like......is who mommy an daddy like is who she marrying....

mommy an daddy doh want no son in law who poor ( but who does work dam hard and is an honest fella) and will bring shame in d family.....so they will arrange someone for she when she ready to marry......

is all what the parent want.....not the child....mommy and daddy always win...

just my 2 cents there

take her vegas an ....*rich daddy cut meh power*

[Dirty Face]

ways skylinechild, it jus sound like she brace yuh an din wha hurt yuh feelings

well whether she brace him or her parents are really the cause one thing for sure he certainly is talking from experience with "Ann"

[Mr. Cheese]

i know a girl.....lets call her ann for short

Ann Ali

[evo-STI-k]

Ask AP and RASC! dem 2 did be was arranged!

[ray d saint]

my reason for asking....

i have ah friend, she is indian... gone to india for 3 weeks. when she come back she engaged and to be married in Feb 09.....

i jus do not understand how you can meet someone, in ah few weeks and know that is the person you want to spend the rest of u r life with..... i jus dunno or cannot understand how dat does work...

[crazybalhead]

She get a bess bull thais all. All kinda upside down tantra kamasutra sheit.

[SR]

taken from some writings from a muslim sister


"Now, in Islam we do not waste time in years of 'dating' and courting each other. There is no 'boyfriend/girlfriend' relationships (or at least there shouldn't be). Islam's recommendation for the lusts and raging hormones of youth is basically- save it for marriage. If you can't get married and you have desires, the Prophet Muhammad (sws) recommended that you fast to help curb those desires.

If a young woman and a young man should see each other and decide they'd like to get to know each other better, there is protocol involved. They are not to just go where they please unsupervised or unchaperoned. The Prophet Muhammad (sws) said, "Not one of you should meet a woman alone unless she is accompanied by a relative (mahram)." (Bukhari/Muslim) . He further explains why by the hadith, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan (Shaytan) is the third among them." When alone, it's easy to let your emotions and hormones take control and that's when the trouble begins. If in the end, these young people have decided marriage is the route to take, then so be it. They would be married knowing they did things the Islamic way, and saved themselves for each other in a sacred union.

I know many find it surprising that Muslims get married so young and they wonder, "How they could marry if they don't love each other?" Well, why can't love happen during the marriage? What rule is there that you need to 'fall in love' before? This whole farce about roses and romance is not the determining factor in why you marry someone anyway. You should marry someone based on their character as advised by the Prophet Muhammad (sws) and at the end of the day, that is what is going to matter. "

[ray d saint]

^^^^^^^ very well done, but from experience, that is why when i went to get divorced and i was in the waiting room to go before the Islamic Divorce Council, there were no less that 15 couples waiting for the same reason i was there, the only difference is i was noticably older than they were......

Also while before the panel, i was 'prived' to hear one of the women on the panel, say... Why would a parent alow they child to get married at such a young age and then months not even years after, a divorce is imminent.....

[SR]

here's some more

"It's very simple really...just look at the common day 'relationships' out there and trend of marriage failures. People date for 7 years, all blissful and happy, and then bam! They get married and it' s all over....And then everyone starts wondering, "what happened???" they were such a perfect couple.

Dating before marriage creates 'expectations'. Usually very unrealistic expectations. And then you finally get married and your partner only then starts to see all your natural and once hidden faults. And they just can't handle it because your spouse if a wholeee different person to when you were dating them.

In Islam, it's simple, you look, you like, you give consent to getting married and all your dating years are found inside of the marriage union. It truely is beautiful because they grow to love eachother for exactly who they are inside and out. No pre-existing expectations. And all the butterflies that others only get on their first few 'dates', you would be getting them for the first time with your husband/wife. It's soo innocent, exciting and precious and creates an even stronger bond than the common day 'date for 5 years first'."




now i am no expert on marriage or arrange marriages

but i belive it does have its merits

[ray d saint]

^^ i agree, however also it is said, Dating someone and living with someone is to completly different things....

in there is where the complexity lies...

[adri 2nr]

What about caste systems in Mordern society dating

I know some hindu's that still pratice this in Trinidad to this day

what are your views on this?

[V2NR 3.0]

This happened with my ex - after we broke up - BOOM 2 months after her parents married her off ! - Arranged Marriages do exist and is practiced in Trinidad.

[RBphoto]

not to attack any one religion...but muslims are most known to do this...

For real . And if you are not what they want (i.e. muslim), they tell you flat out that you are unwelcome in their family....unless of course you convert. End of file, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars, pencils down, fold your arms, fingers on lips, head on desk and stay quiet.

Syrians are actually more strict pios. They rather their children marry a cousin than marry someone with dark complexion, or another religion, to keep money in the family.

[ray d saint]

What about caste systems in Mordern society dating

I know some hindu's that still pratice this in Trinidad to this day

what are your views on this?

^^ this is ah hindu tradition, Brahmins, Maharajh, Singh.... and it goes on....

That is why there are so many broken marriages today in society, it is my opinion that when a parent choses a spouse for their son/daughter that is some one who is good for 'them' and not necessary the son/daughter.... and they fail to realise that they, the parents, have already lived their lives and made their decisions in life, why not allow their children to do the same, give guidance and support, and not dictate.... maybe, jus maybe we may see lots more marriages standing the test of time..

[RBphoto]

What about caste systems in Mordern society dating

I know some hindu's that still pratice this in Trinidad to this day

what are your views on this?

All of us indians are chammar in Trinidad, fresh from sh1tting in the canefield. The high faluting Bhramin baties being sheltered all they life.... parents shooting dong fellas with good intentions because of caste, while gyul in uwi taking level shaft from C-hall gangbangers (no pun intended)...love does not know colour....neither does morality.

[ray d saint]

^^^^ no insult intended

What you think will happen if that same Bhramin batie bring home ah negro dude and/or ah muslim dude..... who u think the parents will choose....

this is where it gets phuked up and u c the racial lines being drawned.

[RBphoto]

^^^^ no insult intended

What you think will happen if that same Bhramin batie bring home ah negro dude and/or ah muslim dude..... who u think the parents will choose....

this is where it gets phuked up and u c the racial lines being drawned.

No insult taken, what I am saying is that parent's cannot control their adult children's behaviour in a modern age. Hindu parents are surprisingly ammicable to rich spouses, so once they have the cash, racial and religion counts for nothing. That is the type of hypocracy we bear in this society. The exception is white people, who are considered god by hindu parents (even the local Bajan poor whites in Trinidad), even though they do not register a tremor on the Richter scale of the caste system.

[urabus]

it had a story on this a while back on guardian
check it out
http://www.guardian.co.tt/archives/2008 ... ures4.html
nice article

yup it is indeed a lovely story

make me feel i cud fall in love all over again on this monday morning

i know a guy who went india for a wife...he say we trini woman is too much confusion and bachanal

[honda hoe]

arranged marriages suck

if i have a daughter dats basically me saying "here darlin i approve of dis young fella to dig out yuh belly"

fcuk dat. d only man sprayin up in my daughter is me

[evo-STI-k]

arranged marriages suck

if i have a daughter dats basically me saying "here darlin i approve of dis young fella to dig out yuh belly"

fcuk dat. d only man sprayin up in my daughter is me :|

so today youre mentally facking retarded?

[AllTrac]

What about caste systems in Mordern society dating

I know some hindu's that still pratice this in Trinidad to this day

what are your views on this?

it works

[AllTrac]

For real . And if you are not what they want (i.e. muslim), they tell you flat out that you are unwelcome in their family....unless of course you convert. End of file, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars, pencils down, fold your arms, fingers on lips, head on desk and stay quiet.

very very true, ive seen this happen many many times

^^^^ no insult intended

What you think will happen if that same Bhramin batie bring home ah negro dude and/or ah muslim dude..... who u think the parents will choose....

none, they would pressure she out of the relationship, lock her down then arrange a meeting with Mr.Sharma son who owns a sucessful harware, they would let the Sharma's know, so he would buy her some sort of first meeting gift, most of the time its gold jewlery. Both parents would pull very well otgether, she would get all the freedom she wants when it comes to Sharma's son, she would notice life is eaisier withe both parties when she is with him and so the cycle starts. Dont see the problem really, good stuff.