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Mr. Red Sleeper
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Postby Mr. Red Sleeper » February 12th, 2009, 3:46 pm

^^^ROFL!! :lol: :lol:


old but still kicks!

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High_Speed_Imports
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Postby High_Speed_Imports » February 12th, 2009, 4:02 pm

Bubba and LeRoy were chatting about Bubba's new purchase. "What is that thang?" sez LeRoy.

"It's a thermos bottle," responds Bubba. "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

"What you got in there?"

"Chili and iced tea."

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High_Speed_Imports
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Postby High_Speed_Imports » February 12th, 2009, 4:03 pm

Why did the principal fire the cross-eyed teacher?
















Because he couldn't control his pupils.

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jeepers
3NE 2NR Power Seller
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Location: Still locating this location that when located it will appear as my location

Postby jeepers » February 12th, 2009, 4:04 pm

Yeo wrote:Image



:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :

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slimsexytrini
Riding on 13's
Posts: 9
Joined: June 19th, 2006, 12:35 pm
Location: East

Postby slimsexytrini » February 12th, 2009, 9:55 pm

1. This is this cat
2. This is is cat
3. This is how cat
4. This is to cat
5. This is keep cat
6. This is an cat
7. This is old cat
8. This is fart cat
9. This is busy cat
10. This is forty cat
11. This is seconds cat
Now read each line
Now go to the third word & read straight down..

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Mr. Red Sleeper
30 pounds of Boost
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Postby Mr. Red Sleeper » February 13th, 2009, 11:52 am

Little Johnny's at it again..... A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'

No Boost
Riding on 13's
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Postby No Boost » February 14th, 2009, 3:05 am

Ah hungry young boy caught a guana and carried it home to his mother. Excitedly she asked him where it was when he responded............. 'ah put it in a brown bag under the bed to ripe"

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DJShortCircuit
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Location: east

Postby DJShortCircuit » February 17th, 2009, 4:25 pm

Read this sentence:

Tom pen is small.

Now read this one:

Tom penis small.

Spot any difference?

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vimal_vs
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Postby vimal_vs » February 19th, 2009, 11:30 pm

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.

The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.

'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies.

'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife, and
so they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of
face cream and puts it in the basket.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.

'It's my face cream. It makes me look sexy and beautiful for you
when we're making love,' replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser ... at half the price.'

dani22
Ricer
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Joined: October 27th, 2008, 5:28 pm
Location: arima

Postby dani22 » February 20th, 2009, 7:08 am

your name is CASIO????????????????????



















Then what u WATCHING me so for??!!!! (BEAT THAT!!)

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vimal_vs
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Postby vimal_vs » February 20th, 2009, 1:23 pm

whey obama used to live before he get rich??



barrackpore



(barack poor)

:shock: :shock: :shock:

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skylinechild
3ne2nr Toppa Toppa
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Location: In a Skyline

Postby skylinechild » February 20th, 2009, 11:20 pm

today it's cool to have small cars and small computers.
soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.
Then my friend YOU will be THE MAN..!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

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DJShortCircuit
Street 2NR
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Joined: August 30th, 2007, 9:56 am
Location: east

Postby DJShortCircuit » February 21st, 2009, 7:19 pm

wat would you call a donkey who pelts you wit nuts?


An Assthrownut :lol: :roll: :shock: :|

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DJShortCircuit
Street 2NR
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Joined: August 30th, 2007, 9:56 am
Location: east

Postby DJShortCircuit » February 21st, 2009, 7:25 pm

a blind man and a def man are walking down the road, suddenly a guy throws a firecracker at them, the blind man seeing this yells out to his def padner, "cover your ears" :mrgreen:

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greatbear
3NE 2NR for life
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Joined: June 29th, 2008, 11:38 pm

Postby greatbear » February 22nd, 2009, 4:52 pm

how de blind man guh see de scratch bomb? :|

wait dais part of de joke ent? :oops:
Last edited by greatbear on February 22nd, 2009, 6:36 pm, edited 2 times in total.

N_A_K

Postby N_A_K » February 22nd, 2009, 5:12 pm

tries to reserve spot*

N_A_K

Postby N_A_K » February 22nd, 2009, 5:12 pm

tries to reserve spot*

N_A_K

Postby N_A_K » February 22nd, 2009, 5:14 pm

Gentlemen:

Last week I bought a car and didnt take your advice and have it insured. Now I awnt to have it insured. Will you please tell me the name of a good company which will insure it and take responsibility for the accident I had yesterday.
(Letter to the Ford Motor Company,Detroit)

Gentlemen:
I had an accident yesterday. I consider that neither vehicle was to blame but if either were to blame, it was the other one. (letter to the Aetna Casualty Insurance Co., New York)

Buick Gentlemen:
I buy your big red car yesterday,buy gallon moonshine. Take drink. Step on gas, trees and fences go by heep fast. Pretty soon see big bridge coming down road. Turn out to let bridge pass. Bang! Car gone! Gimme nother one.
Big Chief Tomochichi
(Letter to the Buick Motor Corporation, Montana, 1950)




I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. (Roy M. Cohn (1927-1986) New York Times Book Review

Did you mail that cheque to the Judge? (Roy M.Cohn, talking to an aide)

N_A_K

Postby N_A_K » February 23rd, 2009, 12:39 pm

bump

bluefete
TriniTuner 24-7
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Joined: November 12th, 2008, 10:56 pm
Location: POS

patrick Manning, the Queen & George Bush

Postby bluefete » February 23rd, 2009, 2:40 pm

Patrick Manning, the Queen & George Bush are in hell.

So the Queen goes to the devil and says she wants to make a phone call. The devil obliges and when she is done he charges her $500 million for the call.

George Bush does the same thing and he is charged $1 billion.

Manning asks to make a call as well.

When he is done, the devil tells him "no charge."

When Manning asks why, the devil says: "That was a local call!!!!!!!!!"

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. Dat stale or what?????????

joker
Shifting into 6th
Posts: 1952
Joined: August 18th, 2006, 3:44 pm
Location: 9sm

Postby joker » February 23rd, 2009, 2:51 pm

Dat stale or what????

yes

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overnite_celebritee
Street 2NR
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Joined: October 16th, 2008, 10:04 am

Postby overnite_celebritee » March 3rd, 2009, 8:40 am

If Barack Obama was poor where would he be living???


































































Barrackpore!!!!

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vimal_vs
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Postby vimal_vs » March 3rd, 2009, 8:42 am

hoss i buss tha one a while ago.. keep up

nismo3ne
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Postby nismo3ne » March 3rd, 2009, 10:06 am

How do you find the circumference of a cow?



































2 Beef Pie :oops:

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jeepers
3NE 2NR Power Seller
Posts: 430
Joined: March 5th, 2006, 8:06 pm
Location: Still locating this location that when located it will appear as my location

Postby jeepers » March 3rd, 2009, 12:10 pm

I Differentiate You!

A mathematician went insane and believed that he was the differentiation operator. His friends had him placed in a mental hospital until he got better. All day he would go around frightening the other patients by staring at them and saying "I differentiate you!"

One day he met a new patient; and true to form he stared at him and said "I differentiate you!", but for once, his victim's expression didn't change. Surprised, the mathematician marshalled his energies, stared fiercely at the new patient and said loudly "I differentiate you!", but still the other man had no reaction.

Finally, in frustration, the mathematician screamed out "I DIFFERENTIATE YOU!"

The new patient calmly looked up and said, "You can differentiate me all you like: I'm e to the x."

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jeepers
3NE 2NR Power Seller
Posts: 430
Joined: March 5th, 2006, 8:06 pm
Location: Still locating this location that when located it will appear as my location

Postby jeepers » March 3rd, 2009, 12:12 pm

Corned Beef

A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter. "Give me a corned beef sandwich," he ordered.

"Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu, but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it, like our Midnight Special."

"What's a Midnight Special?"

"A triple decker with corned beef, tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, on toasted raisin bread."

"Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it to me on a plate?"

"Why, sure!" Then, turning to the sandwich man, he sang out: "One Midnight Special. Make it one deck, hold the tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, and make the raisin bread white, untoasted!"

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teems1
punchin NOS
Posts: 3448
Joined: March 15th, 2007, 4:44 pm

Postby teems1 » March 5th, 2009, 4:36 pm

A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The policeman approaches the drivers door.

'Is there a problem Officer?'

The policeman says, 'Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your licence please?'

The driver responds, 'I'd give it to you but I don't have one.'

'You don't have one?'

The man responds, 'I lost it four times for drink driving.'

The policeman is shocked. 'I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?'

'I'm sorry, I can't do that.'

The policeman says, 'Why not?'

'I stole this car.'

The officer says, 'Stole it?'

The man says, 'Yes, and I killed the owner.'

At this point the officer is getting irate. 'You what?'

'She's in the boot if you want to see.'

The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.

The senior officer says, 'Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!'

The man steps out of his vehicle. 'Is there a problem sir?'

'One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.'

'Murdered the owner?'

The officer responds, 'Yes, could you please open the boot of your car please?'

The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.

The officer says, 'Is this your car sir?'

The man says 'Yes' and hands over the registration papers.

The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. 'One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence.'

The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled. 'Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner.'

The man replies, 'I bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!'

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bnrampage
Street 2NR
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Postby bnrampage » March 6th, 2009, 9:18 pm

A man is in a room and the door is locked so he can't get out. He has with him a piano, a calander, and a bed. How does he eat drink and get out?









Answer: He uses the dates from the calander to eat, the springs from the bed to drink and the keys from the piano to get out.

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greatbear
3NE 2NR for life
Posts: 121
Joined: June 29th, 2008, 11:38 pm

Postby greatbear » March 6th, 2009, 11:07 pm

ah man in de forest an come across a bear, a snake and a jaguar. he only have one bullet remaining in his gun, how he get out??










shoot the snake, drink the "bear" and drive de jaguar out de forest :mrgreen:

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JBL
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Joined: January 10th, 2005, 7:04 pm

Postby JBL » March 7th, 2009, 6:29 am

^^ da one badd...

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