stalest joke competiition

[N_A_K]

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
'Hi, how are you?'

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom. I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
'Doin' just fine!'

And the other person says:
'So what are you up to?'

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
'Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here.'

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question:
'Can I come over?'

Ok, this question is just too weird for me. I figured I could politely end the conversation. I say:
'No........I'm a little busy right now!!!'

Then I hear the person say, nervously:
'Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!'

[N_A_K]

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
'Hi, how are you?'

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom. I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
'Doin' just fine!'

And the other person says:
'So what are you up to?'

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
'Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here.'

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question:
'Can I come over?'

Ok, this question is just too weird for me. I figured I could politely end the conversation. I say:
'No........I'm a little busy right now!!!'

Then I hear the person say, nervously:
'Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!'

[N_A_K]

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
'Hi, how are you?'

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom. I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
'Doin' just fine!'

And the other person says:
'So what are you up to?'

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
'Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here.'

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question:
'Can I come over?'

Ok, this question is just too weird for me. I figured I could politely end the conversation. I say:
'No........I'm a little busy right now!!!'

Then I hear the person say, nervously:
'Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!'

[N_A_K]

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
'Hi, how are you?'

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom. I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
'Doin' just fine!'

And the other person says:
'So what are you up to?'

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
'Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here.'

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question:
'Can I come over?'

Ok, this question is just too weird for me. I figured I could politely end the conversation. I say:
'No........I'm a little busy right now!!!'

Then I hear the person say, nervously:
'Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!'

[N_A_K]

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
'Hi, how are you?'

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom. I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
'Doin' just fine!'

And the other person says:
'So what are you up to?'

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
'Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here.'

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question:
'Can I come over?'

Ok, this question is just too weird for me. I figured I could politely end the conversation. I say:
'No........I'm a little busy right now!!!'

Then I hear the person say, nervously:
'Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!'

[N_A_K]

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
'Hi, how are you?'

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom. I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
'Doin' just fine!'

And the other person says:
'So what are you up to?'

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
'Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here.'

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question:
'Can I come over?'

Ok, this question is just too weird for me. I figured I could politely end the conversation. I say:
'No........I'm a little busy right now!!!'

Then I hear the person say, nervously:
'Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!'

[N_A_K]

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
'Hi, how are you?'

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom. I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
'Doin' just fine!'

And the other person says:
'So what are you up to?'

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
'Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here.'

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question:
'Can I come over?'

Ok, this question is just too weird for me. I figured I could politely end the conversation. I say:
'No........I'm a little busy right now!!!'

Then I hear the person say, nervously:
'Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!'

[Skyline_babe]

ima gonna do like Tom n Cruise outta here.......

[Details]

What do you do with a years worth of used condoms?












Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear.

[Michael Knight...]

So a monkey, a fireman and a model walk into a bar.......































































and then they walked back out.

[mitsu_chick941]

A husband returns home to find his wife in bed with a naked man.

"What are you doing",he shouts.


The wife replies to her lover:

"I told you he was stupid!."

[Details]

A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the Local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the Paper read :NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10. This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The bishop was buried the next day....



drum rolllllllllll banda bing

[ruffrider27]

man walks in female toilet starts to pee,

woman wlaks in on man peeing

woman tells man in a highly manner "excuse me dont u know here is for ladies "

man turns round says 'this this too'

holding his piggeee

[skylinechild]

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

[eekipoo]

thaz a good one

[SmokeyGTi]

ah ever tell you about de one with the maxi driver and de milkman?


































































no?

WELL THEN FCUK OFF!!!!

[skylinechild]

bump

[Skyline_babe]

skylinechild, .....

[skylinechild]

skylinechild, .....

WTF......jus so boy?

try to tell ah joke and ppl on my case already.....like my joke happen to them!!!

[ChristianRD]

Skyline_babe & skylinechild














































































.....Hush allyuh Kant

[Skyline_babe]

Chris90, yuh dotish ent?..anybody talkin to you?...na na ok jk...

why is the Olympic seen as a multi cultural event?



because there are many races

[de_syco]

3 guys were introduced to a girl...
hi i'm peter,not d saint!
hi i'm paul,not the pope!
hi,i'm john,not the baptist!

D girl said.. hi i'm mary,not a virgin!!!

[JBL]

^^ i like da one

[evo_chic]

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says....












.... why the long face ??

shrek i saw this

[evo_chic]

Ah Story of Bunny Rabbits

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The Easter
The Easter who?
The Easter Bunny.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ann
Ann who?
Ann-other Easter Bunny.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Anand
Anand who?
Anand-other Easter Bunny.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Moore
Moore who?
Moore Easter Bunnies.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Howie
Howie who?
Howie gonna get ridda all these Easter Bunnies?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cargo
Cargo who?
Cargo Zoom Zoom on the Easter Bunnies (whoa mazda )

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Don't cry, they'll be back next year!

[evo_chic]

Need an Alias....

Ben Dover
Joe King
Dick Widears
Dr. D. Pole Obstetrician/Gynecologist
Dick Rambone
R. U. Hung
Justin Case
B. Shaw
Phill Meeyas
Dr. L. Bowe - Hand Specialist
Dr. Palmer - Hand Specialist
Dr. T.C. Moore - Optometrist
Dr. Hackett - Surgeon
Dr. Kuntz - Obs/Gyn
Dr. C. Maine - Obs/Gyn
Dr. Dickens Ide - Obs/Gyn
Dr. Phillmore - Dentist
Dr. Yankerup - Dentist
Dr. Crusher - Chiropractor

and last but not least... my favorite
All hail Sheik Yerbouti

[evo_chic]

I rel like knock knock jokes so here's a few...




Knock, knock
Who's there?
Woo
Woo who?
Doh get too excited, is jus ah knock, knock joke

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and you'll find out.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivan
Ivan who?
Ivan to suck your blood!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Isabelle
Isabelle who?
Isabelle necessary fuh de door?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wood
Wood who?
Wood you like to let me in now?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Candice
Candice who?
Candice be de last knock knock joke???

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Despair
Despair who?
Despair tyre flat

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cash
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer peanuts.

[evo_chic]

A boy has a deep conversation with his girlfriend....

Boy: Will you remember me tomorrow?

Girl: Yes!

Boy: Will you remember me next week?

Girl: Of course!

Boy: Will you remember me in next year?

Girl: I will, I will!

Boy: Good. (Smiles) Knock, knock?

Girl: Who's there?

Boy: Buh wha de arse wrong wid you girl? You didn't jus say dat yuh go remember meh?

[evo_chic]

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We all have been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful:

What Makes Life 100%...

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then:


K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%



But......


A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 24 5 = 100%


And......


B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%

So it stands to reason that knowledge and hardwork will get you close, attitude will get you there, and BS will put you over the top.

But, look how far ass kissing will take you....

A S S K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118%

[Mr. Cheese]

A blonde goes into the cleaners & drops off a blouse to be dry cleaned.
As she's leaving, the man behind the counter says, "come again".
The blonde stops and says, "no, it's mustard this time".