stalest joke competiition

[Morpheus]

Pardna decide to hide in a boat loaded with green fig being shipped to the USA.So he paint himself green an hid in between the bunches. Well when he reach the US all d fig ripe.

LoL

[k tech corp.]

was the difference between ah pound ah alloo n ah lamp post???




















so u dont know??
\












so if yuh mudda sen u fuh ah pound ah alooo would u bring bk a lamp post????

[ckboy]

One day, a cowboy rode into a Wild, Wild West town. The people in the town love to play jokes on visitors. After tying his horse to the pole outside a bar, the cowboy went in. "A cup of milk please." he said to the bartender. After drinking, he went out, only to find his horse missing. Knowing that the villagers did it, he went back into the bar and said to everybody," I am going to have another drink and when I finish it, I want to see my horse outside! Or else, I will have to do what I did in Texas - HERE!" The people were very frightened. When he finished his drink, he went outside and saw his horse. The villagers had put it back. Curious, the bartender asked the cowboy,â€

Curious, the bartender asked the cowboy,” What did you do in Texas?"

The Cowboy replied," Well, I had to walk home

[DFC]

so i went to the doctor for my checkup..
Doctor says he needs a stool, semen and urine sample from me.

I say "Doc i dont have time, can i just leave my underwear?"



budum tsss.....

[Yodins]

This old businessman who had no children was ready to die but since he had no children of his own he had to get a new heir to the $50B business. So he took his 3 best employees, a Trinidadian man, ah Guyanese man and a Jamaican man to the top of his 20 story building and handed each of them a Rolex. he said "whosoever can drop this watch and catch it before it hits the ground will be the new heir to my business."

so the Guyanese man went first, threw it over the edge and took off into the stairwell. he thought he was a smart man and took the elevator instead. He reach outside an find the watch in a million pieces. he said "oh firetruck boyyy"

Next was the Jamaican man. he threw the watch over but since he was Jamaican he thought he could run down the stairs faster than the elevator. But nope, he reached downstairs to find the watch in a thousand pieces. "BOMBOCLART!!!"

Trinidadian man now. he threw the watch over then casually had a cigarette. then he WALKED own the stairs, had some dinner in the lobby. then he went outside and as he put out he hand the watch landed in it. now everybody in amazement say "buh how you do that dan?" with a smirk he said "Ah did set de watch 5 minutes slow."

I have another one but it kinda racist.........:/

[solidust]

Man: Which is the strongest days of d week?

Other man: I doh no

Man: saturday and sunday cuz monday to friday is d week ah days.

[stev]

every year, little Tommy would visit his grandpa in a foreign country and every year he would ask his grandpa for a dollar.

the grandpa would always ask him "is your penis long enough to touch your ass-hole?"....and every year the boy left disappointing because he was not old enough.

this occurred for several years until finally the boy was a man and his penis could reach his ass-hole.....he asked his grandfather one last time for a dollar and assured him that his penis could touch his ass-hole.....the grandfather replied:

"great.....now go f**k yourself"

[- Rovin's car audio -]

^^grandpa move rel harsh dey boi .....

[black start]

grand-pa fork up the man yes...

[stev]

so a door to door salesman was getting desperate to sell his new vacuum so he went up to a random house and rang the doorbell....as soon as the door opened...he ran inside and empty a bag of cow sheit all over d people carpet....

...he told the lady, "madame, if my new powerful vacuum does not clean this up within 3 minutes, I'll eat the cow sheit".

the lady said:







"yuh want some pepper sauce dan?.....cuz current gone"

[stev]

and another:


The mother-in-law comes home and finds her son-in-law furious and packing his suitcase. "What happened?" she asked. Son in law: "What happened? - I'll tell you what happenned! I sent an email to Mary saying that I was coming home from my trip today. I got home and guess what I found?....... My wife, yes your daughter, with a naked guy in our marital bed! This is the end of our marriage, I will leave forever!"

"Calm down!" says mother-in-law, "There is something odd about this story. Mary would never do such a thing! Wait a minute while I check what happened." Moments later she comes back with a big smile. "You see, I told you there must be a simple explanation.............. Mary didn't receive your email!!"

[krisjoseph_2000]

Sent from my A1_07 using TriniTuner mobile app

[nemram]

what did the secret agent lady soap introduce herself as - Olive... Pam Olive... lol

[chris1993]

Why did the chicken cross d road?





Idk I forget


Paaadumtsss

[-Roach-]

Why did Kamla stop drinking alcohol?...

Because Jack Warnher.... :$

[stev]

so what did the monk tell the doubles man?














...make me one with everything

[stev]

man asked a homeless woman if he can take her home.....she said "YES!!!" and started to jump for joy.





....he took her cardboard box and walked off

[jusme]

^^

[kadijahveronica]

was suckin my girl the other day
and i looked up and said
WOW u have a big meow
WOW u have a big meow
she replied why did you say it twice
i said it wasnt me it was the echo

[ShaqThom]

was suckin my girl the other day
and i looked up and said
WOW u have a big meow
WOW u have a bit meow
she replied why did you say it twice
i said it wasnt me it was the echo

[kadijahveronica]

i'm glad u like it lolzz

[black start]

was suckin my girl the other day
and i looked up and said
WOW u have a big meow
WOW u have a bit meow
she replied why did you say it twice
i said it wasnt me it was the echo

[speedmelter]

this old man had an expensive watch he only wore on special occasions.. put it on one day and realise it not working and the battery was dead.. he telling his wife, me eh undahstan de kine ah ting dey duz make nowahdayze eeno i only wear dis ah couple ah times an it dun stop woking

[ShaqThom]

this old man had an expensive watch he only wore on special occasions.. put it on one day and realise it not working and the battery was dead.. he telling his wife, me eh undahstan de kine ah ting dey duz make nowahdayze eeno i only wear dis ah couple ah times an it dun stop woking

Was d joke??

[speedmelter]

this old man had an expensive watch he only wore on special occasions.. put it on one day and realise it not working and the battery was dead.. he telling his wife, me eh undahstan de kine ah ting dey duz make nowahdayze eeno i only wear dis ah couple ah times an it dun stop woking

Was d joke??

[firstchoicett]

this old man had an expensive watch he only wore on special occasions.. put it on one day and realise it not working and the battery was dead.. he telling his wife, me eh undahstan de kine ah ting dey duz make nowahdayze eeno i only wear dis ah couple ah times an it dun stop woking

Was d joke??

[skylinechild]

how do you make your wife scream one hr after sex???
wipe your dick on her new curtains....

[kadijahveronica]

what does the sperm bank say when ur leaving??????










thanks for COMING!!!! HAA HAAA

[Trini Hookah]

A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf….. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, “I warned you to be careful! Now we’ll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.”
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, “Come on in.” When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window. A man reclining on the couch asked, “Are you the people that broke my window?”


“Uh…yeah, sir. We’re sure sorry about that,” the husband replied.
“Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I’m a genie, and I’ve been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you’ve released me, I’m allowed to grant three wishes. I’ll give you each one wish, but if you don’t mind, I’ll keep the last one for myself.”
“Wow, that’s great!” the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, “I’d like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.”
“No problem,” said the genie. “You’ve got it, it’s the least I can do. And I’ll guarantee you a long, healthy life. And now you, young lady, what do you want?” the genie asked.
“I’d like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world,” she said.
“Consider it done,” the genie said. “And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!”
“And now,” the couple asked in unison, “what’s your wish, genie?”
“Well, since I’ve been trapped in that bottle and haven’t been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.”
The husband looked at his wife and said, “Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think? ”
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, “You know, you’re right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn’t mind, but what about you, honey?”
“You know I love you sweetheart,” said the husband. “I’d do the same for you!”
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, “How old are you and your husband?”
“Why, we’re both 35,” she responded breathlessly.
“NO sheit. Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?”

[HaRdCoRe_YoUtH]

A blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more. "I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."

"But I always get it here," says the blonde.

"Do you have the container it comes in?"

"Yes!" says the blonde, "I will go and get it."

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist, who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."

The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: "To apply, push up bottom."