South soap opera nonsense...

[Soundwave]

romance is key, I told my ex "why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma..."...

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

I disagree.

Firstly, my woman will clearly have to be mad to call a friend of mine to discuss my/our sexual issues. Thats something for us to discuss. and it ends there.next thing she'll go talking / seeking advice from her mother in law abt this... No way. but i guess that "trait" will be noticed from the start and the distance-making - process will be afoot. If e cant discuss it and come to a conclusion on our own, that's going to lead to all sorts of problems WRT communication. You cant efficiently and suitably discuss your sexual concerns with your SO, the relationship is spiraling down slowly but surely.

Secondly, while i agree that time apart is all well and good, make sure its for the right reasons. Meaning, if its just that "hun, going to take a lil lime later" and she's fine with that, then ok. But dont tell me its because you dont want to have to entertain him 100% of the time. It's not really abt entertaining him. Its about being with the person you supposedly married cause you thoroughly enjoy their company all of the time and he entertains you just as much as you do him. Anything else sounds like "man, i could really do with some alone time cause you're plain out getting on my nerves by just being...." thats what it sounds like to me. and if thats the case, well... you know the answer to that..
Drones are created when one or both parties are bored of each other.

[brainchild]

You people make marriage sound like a mistake....

Yeah...they kinda do, but it isn't. Money doesn't have to be half and half...in fact you shouldn't be watchin dat at all! The plan should be dat you have the same goals and workin towards it regardless of who puts how much, everyting should be split in order to keep u both comfortable...plan for a rainy day wit eachother, not a rainy day in divorce court!

I agree dat friends shouldn't be mixed too much, alone time is a must sumtimes and in-laws kept out of your business whether or not u livin wit/near them.

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

You people make marriage sound like a mistake....

The mistake is actually the choice of spouse most of the time..
Not the actual act..

true...although you wont fully learbn someone for 5 10 or even 15 yrs down the line. So how can marriage be a viable option at that point?
Wont that be a gamble?
If so, why go into something thats supposed to be as sacred as a marriage ?

[Sky]

So is it safe to say AllTrac and Sky that you guys subscribe to the fact that..
Once a cheater always a cheater?

No, people can grow, but not in that same relationship
The deed and damage is done already.
Unless they stop it and keep it under lows or a few yrs, then buss de mark.
A nymph doing their thing is actually the smallest cheating problem. That's why men go out and cheat and still treat their wife bess. And the marriage works until she finds out. Women tend to give their heart as well though.
There are bigger problems...
The husband could be beating the wife, or vice versa
The husband could be leaving all the work to the wife, or vice evrsa.
The could be losing comunication or affection between themselevs
They both simply stop trying and the first to get fedup is the one to cheat.
The inlaws could be a pain and the spouse encouraging it.

Jed all kinda crap could cause the horn, and the problem is mostly a bigger threat to the relationship than the horn itself, where the horn is just a symptom.

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

You people make marriage sound like a mistake....

The mistake is actually the choice of spouse most of the time..
Not the actual act..

true...although you wont fully learn someone for 5 10 or even 15 yrs down the line. So how can marriage be a viable option at that point?
Wont that be a gamble?
If so, why go into something thats supposed to be as sacred as a marriage ?

[~*Pãñdorą*~]

SO hold up..
You don't mind having your SO around 100% of the time..
100% of your free time?!

NAH!! I sorry I built differently.. I needs my girl time.. and my girls and I talking about our girl stuff I don't want to have to sensor a convo because my SO is around.

You seriously don't ever feel the need to have guy time?!

[brainchild]

I think he means guy/girl time should happen naturally...not bcos u fed up entertain, bcos d fact dat u feel like u entertaining could be a sign dat u gettin fed up of d person themselves. Which kinda makes sense

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

Why ?
Free time was before you got married.
i understand some time to have a few drinks with friends if and when it happens, but not MY TIME as a plan or routine. That was for single days IMO.

Girl stuff? So therefore there are things that you'd rather not talk to the one person that you should be able to discuss anything and everything with???? The on you said yes to marrying>?? Forever??
ok.
It might be me, but if there are times i just honestly dont feel to be around you , i eh gettin married.
i guess thats one of the issues with society today as far as this goes. i dont think the parents and elders in one's life, sits and really schools their children on what marriage means and what it takes to be married.

[AllTrac]

good sex could keep a shabby marriage together tho.

[hydroep]

...but IMO these "qualities" usually don't manifest overnight...

From the minute you're liming a girl and she starts to let you know what she would like....problems...

I was thinking the same thing. It's quite possible the signs were there but the borseman chose to ignore them thus putting himself (and his children) through needless trouble.

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

good sex OUTSIDE could keep a shabby marriage together tho.

Yeah! Is who shabby marriage gonna be kept together! ...lol

Seriously tho ...no.
The sex will develop a bitter taste if the shabbyness gets worse which it will...Seperate for a while and the sex will start getting better with the absence of the bitterness/issues / etc.

[hydroep]

My guess is he fell for a pretty face...

That's possible.

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

My guess is that he's a cacahole to get married to someone cause of a pretty face..

[~*Pãñdorą*~]

Why ?
Free time was before you got married.
i understand some time to have a few drinks with friends if and when it happens, but not MY TIME as a plan or routine. That was for single days IMO. Failure to spend time with yourself is a sure fire way of you loosing your identity. Loosing yourself. The time can be spent reading a book or hanging with friends, whatever. IMO

Girl stuff? So therefore there are things that you'd rather not talk to the one person that you should be able to discuss anything and everything with???? The on you said yes to marrying>?? Forever?? Are you seriously sayiong that EVERYTHING guys talk about amongst themselves should and could be heard by females? Especially the one you're married to? When girls get together we do everything from compare penis sizes to trading secrets on the easiest way to climax.
ok.
It might be me, but if there are times i just honestly dont feel to be around you , i eh gettin married.
i guess thats one of the issues with society today as far as this goes. i dont think the parents and elders in one's life, sits and really schools their children on what marriage means and what it takes to be married.

You definitely sound like my dad who could never understand my need to hang with my gf's from school while my bf sat at home or went and hung out with his guy friends.

Because you're together doesn't mean you're joined at the hips. *shrug*

[hydroep]

You can't be too nice to them. You need to rough them up once in awhile, not usually physically but enough to instill boundaries and to let them know that you are not a peep squeak.

[lostallos101]

i was always saying around 27 so i would consider marriage if i was with someone who i though was good but after reading all this, i really dunno again

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

Why ?
Free time was before you got married.
i understand some time to have a few drinks with friends if and when it happens, but not MY TIME as a plan or routine. That was for single days IMO. Failure to spend time with yourself is a sure fire way of you loosing your identity. Loosing yourself. The time can be spent reading a book or hanging with friends, whatever. IMO

Lose your identity? Thats cant happen if you are not a strong individual who is sure of their self in your own skin. I liked you from the start cause you are who you are and continue to cause you stayed that way. PPl end up changing due to their own weaknesses and then turn around and blame others for changing them. Thats crazy..

Girl stuff? So therefore there are things that you'd rather not talk to the one person that you should be able to discuss anything and everything with???? The on you said yes to marrying>?? Forever?? Are you seriously sayiong that EVERYTHING guys talk about amongst themselves should and could be heard by females? Especially the one you're married to? When girls get together we do everything from compare penis sizes to trading secrets on the easiest way to climax.
Are you kidding>??? Your SO is supposed to actually insist on bring up and being involved in this type of conversations which WILL only lead to be closer and more understanding of your spouse. But i do see a pattern which leads me back to what i was saying earlier. SEX whether doing it or talking about it, with others, is the reason for so many wanting "TIME OFF " from one's SO. Agin, thats not at all acceptable. I will enjoy talking abt everything with my wife being present among ppl and make her even grin/blush, etc. and call me silly for talking abt it openly. Secrets cause trouble. thats a fact
ok.
It might be me, but if there are times i just honestly dont feel to be around you , i eh gettin married.
i guess thats one of the issues with society today as far as this goes. i dont think the parents and elders in one's life, sits and really schools their children on what marriage means and what it takes to be married.

You definitely sound like my dad who could never understand my need to hang with my gf's from school while my bf sat at home or went and hung out with his guy friends.

Because you're together doesn't mean you're joined at the hips. *shrug*

No ones joined at the hips. Its a marriage and we should be damn near close if not joined at the hips. Because we can do /talk/ laugh about everything together.
Your Dad was right, and that was probably his own way of training you to continue to be the Princess that he raised and eventually make your husband a very happy and comfortable person. He sounds like he was trying actually.!
Marriage is supposed to be a bond between you and your best friend. The person who compliments you in everyway both inside and out. The one who does it for you mentally, emotionally and physically more than any other human can. Friends are non entities when it comes to you and your husband. Thats priority, the rest comes after. Friends are great and we all need them but you best friend should be your spouse.

[~*Pãñdorą*~]

You are sooo romanticising marriage..


All I can say is good luck with your notions..
Imma stick with mine..

[hydroep]

This is due to the core of materialism: pleasure oneself. It never occurs that a time will come when certain forms of pleasure fade in the autumn of our lives, leaving behind the deeper pleasure (and the only truly real pleasure) of knowing and being with another – companionship. This joy one finds in another is why it is human to seek out another. This joy is what binds a true couple – sex is merely a catalyst.

Well said.

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

i was always saying around 27 so i would consider marriage if i was with someone who i though was good but after reading all this, i really dunno again

Sounds like plenty work eh?
It is... So fcuk alot while/if you can. Learn how to run when you need to (task by itself to master) and then when and only when you think you're ready for hard work, proceed.

[16 cycles]

^ learn from the experiences here and make it work for you.....

[crazybalhead]

Well said slippers. I'm sorry if Pandora can't understand that. Also D spike. It eh have nothing to dowith Romance Pandora, them same "friends" will carry yuh and will not bring yuh back.

Is gritty reality that that person should be your partner in every sense of the word.

Not a convenience yuh need to "get away from" on a regular basis.

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

You are sooo romanticising marriage..


All I can say is good luck with your notions..
Imma stick with mine..

It's actually not as romantic as you think im makin it out to be. But my point is, and im sure you and others will agree, that only when anyone's ready to be that person, will a meaningful union make any sense..

In the meantime however.....i will enjoy distributing pleasure to the many confused alone hurt misguided straight out horny nympho Indian chicks that needs my offerings.
I can live like that. Never professed to be a saint or the person i described above, but Its workin out well for me at this juncture in my life.!

[TobagoAK]

You can't be too nice to them. You need to rough them up once in awhile, not usually physically but enough to instill boundaries and to let them know that you are not a peep squeak.

Yeh, works like a charm. The one who cares less is the captain of the ship. Every girl I did this to, I had them wrapped around my fingers.

[d spike]

Only now stuck my nose back in...
Mr Red Sleeper, it would take me too long to go back and quote stuff that I agree with (and agree strenuously, I must admit) so I will just say that everything you have said here so far, is quite true... from the type of person that you suspect the woman in the first post to have been like (boy, like you real know dem... if ever yuh decide tuh give lectures, ah dey) to this concern some have of "my" time in a marriage.
Evidently, the materialistic way of life has so completely absorbed people, that the whole concept of marriage is now lost to many.

[d spike]

This is due to the core of materialism: pleasure oneself. It never occurs that a time will come when certain forms of pleasure fade in the autumn of our lives, leaving behind the deeper pleasure (and the only truly real pleasure) of knowing and being with another – companionship. This joy one finds in another is why it is human to seek out another. This joy is what binds a true couple – sex is merely a catalyst.

Well said.

Somebody actually READ that post????!?
Wow.

Thanks, hydroep

[eliteauto]

I have to wonder who's a "ticking time bomb" the woman happily cooking food for her husband or a husband who cannot do anything without his wife?

[~*Pãñdorą*~]

I have to wonder who's a "ticking time bomb" the woman happily cooking food for her husband or a husband who cannot do anything without his wife?

My point exactly..

[crazybalhead]

That's what you read into that??? Nah man. ANyway, we go talk about that when we bounce up if yuh want.