stalest joke competiition

[Bizzare]

That so stale it funny......

[nos_specialist]

Ah fella gone to court, police held him for stealing some items from the grocery and beating up the cashier.

Do you know what was the charge?















Theefing, ah salt and battery.



MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....i jus made dat up, exclusive for the stalest joke competition on 3ne2nr...

[SmokeyGTi]

One day a sad monkey wanted to end his life....so, he went up to a sleeping lion and put his finger in the lion's ass.....the lion woke up angry and roared,
Lion: Who did that ? Who has called for his death ?
Monkey: Its me.
Lion: Did anyone see you ?
Monkey: No.
Lion: Ok, do it again.

[crazybalhead]

Married life blues:

My wife's been moaning that I never do anything to take her breath away any more, so tonight I have hidden her inhaler.................lets see how the rest of the night pans out!




Danraj goes to doctor having problems with premature ejaculation. Doc gives him a starter's pistol and says "when you feel yourself cumming give yourself a fright by firing it in the air to prolong the sex."

2 days later the doctor sees him again and asks how it went. Danraj says "not good. We were in a 69 and i felt myself start to cum, so i fired the gun. My wife sh*t in my face, bit the end off my pr!ck & Santana came out the wardrobe with his hands up!"


Bought my son an iPad, my daughter an iPod. The wife got me an iPhone and I got her an iRon. She wasn't overjoyed even after I explained it can be integrated with the iWash, iCook, iClean network. This opened the iNag reminder service which totally wiped out the iSex function

Ohgordohgordohgord....

[Seeker]

When a car bounce a cow, what sound it makes???






































BEEF!!!!!!

[shogun]

Married life blues:


Danraj goes to doctor having problems with premature ejaculation. Doc gives him a starter's pistol and says "when you feel yourself cumming give yourself a fright by firing it in the air to prolong the sex."

2 days later the doctor sees him again and asks how it went. Danraj says "not good. We were in a 69 and i felt myself start to cum, so i fired the gun. My wife sh*t in my face, bit the end off my pr!ck & Santana came out the wardrobe with his hands up!"




Bought my son an iPad, my daughter an iPod. The wife got me an iPhone and I got her an iRon. She wasn't overjoyed even after I explained it can be integrated with the iWash, iCook, iClean network. This opened the iNag reminder service which totally wiped out the iSex function

[sr20 sleeper]

bump

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

Foreigner coming into immigration was told to go in one line and put his watch in the next.

[ruffrider27]

wey u call a rasta who like to drive hi.

a hilux,

[COROLLA KID]

A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the
mirror. He asks, "What are you doing?"
She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the breasts
of a 25 year old."
The husband retorts, "Well, what did he say about your 50 year old ass?"
She replies, "Frankly dear, your name never came up."

[COROLLA KID]

How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path.

[Kiro_lee]

My girl was dressing and she complained that the bra she put on needed something to hold them up (maybe a strap, i dunno bout these things), to which I replied "what, some breasts"?, The look she give me eh!!!

Ah now c ah man shouting in ah envelope i ask him what he doing? He say he sending ah voicemail.

[stev]

Foreigner coming into immigration was told to go in one line and put his watch in the next.

wah?

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

Watch was a citizen

[Stephon.]

[COROLLA KID]

Foreigner coming into immigration was told to go in one line and put his watch in the next.

wah?

Watch was a citizen

i bet Mr. Red Sleeper was jus waiting for sum1 to ask "wah?"

[SPRANG_A]

^ somehow that make it funnier

[zcarz]

This man from the Guyanese countryside had lost his crops after a drought. He had nothing left but his donkey. After days of being miserable, and not being able to find a job, he took his donkey into the city and put up a sign that read 'Betting $100.00 that this donkey could answer any question yuh ask.'One man come up saying: 'No way that ass could tell me how much numbers in a phone number?' The owner said 'Tell him, ass?' The donkey stomp on the ground seven times, so the man paid and walked away shocked. Ah nex' man come up and say 'Tell me how much players make up a football side?' The donkey stomp the ground eleven times.' The man paid up. By now, news spread like wildfire and nuff people gather around to see this smart ass. This woman come out of the crowd, walk up to the owner and said 'Yuh is ah fraud and ah bet $1000.00 he cyan tell me meh age. '
The donkey step back, leh go a loud fart and stomp he foot two times. The woman faint! After some smelling salts and water, she revive and point at de donkey and say:Buh how he de know ah was fartee-two !!!!!!

[Bizzare]

Bleh. Didn't know A172 was a smart ass though

[rspann]

manning driver carrying him thru barrackpore,when he bounce down a donkey.Manning tell him to ask around to see who is the owner of the donkey.the driver left to find out but did not come back for four hours.Manning say"boy you have me worried,I say dem indian must be kill yuh!"The driver say,"boss,the funniest thing happen to me,as I tell them what happen,the man tell me come and take a seat,he tell his wife to cook some food for me,and when I finished eating he tell his daughter to go sleep with me".I find all of that real strange,I say they would a vex!Manning said something wrong here,what it is you really tell him?The driver replied,boss,all I say that I is Manning driver and I kill the jackass.

[Bizzare]

Hahahaah ..... funneeyyy!

[rollingstock]

[jramsarran]

two men going fishing on a boat...one of their hat falls in the water!..how do they get it back??






















wet!

[ismithx]

Watch was a citizen

boss man, hold ah win!

[jeevdude199]

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says:

'A beer please, and one for the road.'

[jeevdude199]

oh and dis
What do you call a fish with no eyes ?

A fsh.

[rspann]

How do you kill a blue elephant?






with a blue elephant gun!

[rspann]

how do you kill a pink elephant?












No,there are no pink elephant guns,they only come in blue.So here's what you do.You squeeze his balls till he turn blue and then shoot him with the blue elephant gun!

[jramsarran]

a prostitute wants to take out an insurance policy so she goes to an agent.
they starts fulling out the form and he asks her...
what is your occupation?...
i'm a prostitute she replies...
the agent pauses and then says..we need to find another name for what you do.
she says how abt a stripper!!....no, he says... something more...sophisticated!
she says..well how about an exotic pole dancer..nope...dats not gonna be appropriate either...
after abt 5 minutes she shouts out...i've got it...
how about a chicken farmer...
the man looks at her confused and asks....a chicken farmer??...
she says yes!...i raised over 1000 C@cks last year!!

"chicken farmer" it is!!.....

[rspann]

how do you kill a pink elephant?












No,there are no pink elephant guns,they only come in blue.So here's what you do.You squeeze his balls till he turn blue and then shoot him with the blue elephant gun!