stalest joke competiition

[mitsuboi]

hottgyul........jus for being a "gud sport"

Corolla Kid receives a phone call."Hello," he answers.The voice on the other end says, "This is hottgyul.We met at a party about 3 months ago." Corolla Kid: "hmmm... hottgyul? You say we met 3 months ago?" hottgyul: "Yes, it was at mitsuboi's house. After the party you gave me a ride home. On the way home, we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a good sport." Corolla Kid: "Oh, yeah! hottgyul! How are you,how have you been?" hottgyul: "Well, I'm pregnant and I'm going to kill myself." Corolla Kid: "Say, you really ARE a good sport!"

[lighthammer]

This website has some really funny shyet...
Dunno if it's a repost, sorry if it is - but it's all REALLY funny
*NSFW language*


http://www.dontevenreply.com/all.php




Sample:

Kitten Rescue
Posted at: 2010-08-12 14:37:56
Warning: The following post contains graphic images. If you are offended by the sight of food-dye, corn syrup, and ground beef, you may not want to read this.

Original ad:
Humane "hav a heart" traps for kittens needed
There are some kittens in my neighborhood that need to find good homes. I need a trap 4 the cats to help bring them in. Please email me if you have a trap (and a heart)!
From Me to *********@********.org:

Hello,

Are you still looking for a trap for cats?

Mike

From Deb ******* to Me:

Yes I am can you help me?

From Me to Deb *******:

I most certainly can! I believe this trap is for those who want to "have a heart." I used it to catch a stray cat that kept coming into my garage. It is called the KittyHugger. All you have to do is put some cat food on the trigger, and when the cat comes to eat it, the trap gently contracts into a hugging position and comfortably hugs the cat until you come back to deal with the little guy. Please let me know if this will work.

Mike

From Deb ******* to Me:

Mike- I have never heard of a trap like that. I was referring to the "Havahart" traps...you know like the cages for animals?? Do you have any pictures of the trap? I'd like to see how it works before I get it. Thanks.

From Me to Deb *******:

Absolutely. I've attached a picture of it. Sorry if it is a little messy; I haven't cleaned the trap in a while.

Attachment:


From Deb ******* to Me:

YOU'RE SICK!

From Me to Deb *******:

Excuse me?

From Deb ******* to Me:

You killed that poor cat OMG

From Me to Deb *******:

I didn't kill the cat. I told you it was a little messy. The last cat I caught knocked over the bowl of juice I gave him so he wouldn't get thirsty. As you can see, it made quite the mess. I assure you this trap is 100% safe and humane.

From Deb ******* to Me:

IT OBVIOUSLY IS NOT SAFE. IT IS COVERED IN BLOOD

From Me to Deb *******:

You've clearly never seen a juice spill before. You have a twisted imagination if you think that is blood. I guess you don't want the trap.

Before you give up on me, I have one more trap you may be interested in. I actually think it is one of those Have a Heart traps you were talking about, though I've never heard it called that.

Please see the attachments. As you can see from the pictures, the kitty will have plenty of room to be safe and comfortable. It comes with a black tube at the end that is used to pump warm air into the cage to keep him warm while he waits to be released.

I'm sorry I didn't have time to clean the trap. It is still a little messy because the last cat I had in there spilled his bowl of juice and his cat food. It went everywhere!

Mike

Attachment:





From Deb ******* to Me:

Wow can't you read the ad you sick jerk? I DON'T WANT TO KILL THEM

How you managed to turn that trap into a bloody mess is a mystery to me but keep the hell away from me!!!

[COROLLA KID]

hottgyul........jus for being a "gud sport"

Corolla Kid receives a phone call."Hello," he answers.The voice on the other end says, "This is hottgyul.We met at a party about 3 months ago." Corolla Kid: "hmmm... hottgyul? You say we met 3 months ago?" hottgyul: "Yes, it was at mitsuboi's house. After the party you gave me a ride home. On the way home, we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a good sport." Corolla Kid: "Oh, yeah! hottgyul! How are you,how have you been?" hottgyul: "Well, I'm pregnant and I'm going to kill myself." Corolla Kid: "Say, you really ARE a good sport!"

the last sentence should of been
Corolla Kid: yuh sure you don't need another ride home first?
jus kidding
shame on you mitsuboi.

[K74T]

I went to a wedding this past weekend, had a great time; the DJ played some great songs.
He played "Twist" so I did the Twist.
He played "Jump" so I jumped.
He then played "Come on Eileen" and I got kicked out .

[mitsu_chick941]

hottgyul........jus for being a "gud sport"

Corolla Kid receives a phone call."Hello," he answers.The voice on the other end says, "This is hottgyul.We met at a party about 3 months ago." Corolla Kid: "hmmm... hottgyul? You say we met 3 months ago?" hottgyul: "Yes, it was at mitsuboi's house. After the party you gave me a ride home. On the way home, we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a good sport." Corolla Kid: "Oh, yeah! hottgyul! How are you,how have you been?" hottgyul: "Well, I'm pregnant and i'm not sure if its yours or mitsuboi's." Corolla Kid: "Say, be a good sport and tell mitsuboi it's his!"

fixed

[rollingstock]

^^^

[COROLLA KID]

^^^

X2 cuz i dont mind being part of the joke

[mitsuboi]

^^^

X2 cuz i dont mind being part of the joke

Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"...
Hottgyul says, "what's for breakfast?"

Good girls never go after another girl's man...
Hottgyul goes after him AND his brother.

Good girls wear white cotton panties...
Hottgyul don't wear any.

Good girls wax their floors...
Hottgyul waxes her bikini lines.

Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot...
Hottgyul makes it hot by loosening a few buttons.

Good girls make chicken for dinner...
Hottgyul makes reservations.

Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies...
Hottgyul knows they could do better.

Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss...
Hottgyul never do either, unless he's very, very rich.

Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls...
Hottgyul believes that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.

Good girls love Italian food...
Hottgyul loves Italian waiters

thx for being a gud sport gyul

[rollingstock]

Sorry hg couldn't help it.

[Trini Hookah]

Japs makin reservations now?

[COROLLA KID]

Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot...
Hottgyul makes it hot by loosening a few buttons.

i like this one

[mitsu_chick941]

^^^

X2 cuz i dont mind being part of the joke

Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"...
Hottgyul says, "what's for breakfast?"

Good girls never go after another girl's man...
Hottgyul goes after him AND his brother.

Good girls wear white cotton panties...
Hottgyul don't wear any.

Good girls wax their floors...
Hottgyul waxes her bikini lines.

Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot...
Hottgyul makes it hot by loosening a few buttons.

Good girls make chicken for dinner...
Hottgyul makes reservations.

Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies...
Hottgyul knows they could do better.

Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss...
Hottgyul never do either, unless he's very, very rich.

Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls...
Hottgyul believes that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.

Good girls love Italian food...
Hottgyul loves Italian waiters

thx for being a gud sport gyul

[mitsu_chick941]

Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.

The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the firetruck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".

The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"

[COROLLA KID]

two men and a woman was stranded on an island,
since there was nothing to do on the island all they did was have sex.
one day the woman got ill and died.
the men continued to have sex cuz there was nothing to do on the island...

after bout a week
eventually they felt ashamed of themselves










and buried her

[mitsu_chick941]

[COROLLA KID]

last time it had a solar eclipse i ask muh fren if dey goin outside to watch da eclipse ryte
he say no i dun watch dat twilight already... -________-

[COROLLA KID]

why d man put he pants in d pay phone.........................because it was ah three quarters

ah man mother so stupid she bye ah shoes and eat it so i ask she y she do dat she tell me is ah pear

Y Are Cornbeef Soo Stupid !!..?........................................becuz dey lock them selves in a can n leave dah key onn dah outside

"My dog has no nose.""How does it smell?""Terrible!"

A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his trousers. Bartender says "hey did you know you've got a steering wheel down your pants?"The man replies "yeah, it's driving me nuts"

[ismithx]

Always borrow money from a pessimist, they never expect to get it back...

[speedfreak44]

wat d penis tell d condom?





Cover me..i am goin in'

[speedfreak44]

ah man gone in subway so de woman ask em if he need some help so he say no she ask him again if he sure so de man ask de woman SO WEN DE NEXT TRAIN PASSIN?

[speedfreak44]

3 cockroach steal ah car
police pull dem over on the highway
the 1st one run outside with sponge and ting in he mouth
the police ask him where he from
he say he from the seat
soo dey let him go
the 2nd one run out wit oil and all kinda grease over he body
the police ask him where he from
he say he from the engine
so dey let him go
the thrid one get hold with ah gun and some weed
dey ask him where he from...
he say "i from the hood"

[MG Man]

BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Mr. Red Sleeper]

That is shiet..


Lol

[rollingstock]

A blind man walks into a Chinese Restaurant, but whilst entering his walking stick struck the owner Chin who became angry, the blind man explained his predicament, and Chin still angry but not willing to chase a paying customer seated the blind man.
Chin then took the blind's man order and brought his food, but before eating the blind man called to Chin and said his fork was not washed properly and he could smell the food that the other patrons ate. Chin brought several recently washed utensils for the man to use but he kept on refusing them.
Chin incensed went into the kitchen and washed a fork, but still angry he calls his wife Mary and tells her to wipe it on her crotch, Mary then proceeds to properly wipe and insert the fork in her snatch.
Chin then goes to the blind man and hand him the fork and tell him that he washed it himself personally and asks him to smell it, the blind man puts it to his nose and instantly exclaims, " I ah know Mary works here!"

[speedfreak44]

hahahahahaha... ohh gawdddd

[wheel whores]

One day on a farm,a dog was running from a c ock.
A cat saw & began laughing.
As the dog passed by ,he said,"Yeah,skin yuh cat ,a c ock coming!"

[SPRANG_A]

A pedophile, a priest, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
Then a second guy walks in......



(i might get ban over this one?)

[COROLLA KID]

A pedophile, a priest, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
Then a second guy walks in......



(i might get ban over this one?)

lol.now im in suspense

A Lawyer, a Police man, a Priest, and the church all boys choir was on a Plane when suddenly the Plane's engine blew out and the Plane was crashing , there were only 3 parachutes the Police man grabbed one , the Lawyer grabbed one, and the Priest grabbed one.
the Lawyer shouted "what about the children?"
the Police man yelled " F the children!"
The Priest then yelled " Do we have time?"

jus a joke Admin , all in comedy

[DRAGULA]

hickory dickory dock
3 mice ran up the clock
the clock struck one
and the other two escaped with minor injuries

rofl

[DRAGULA]

A guy goes to the doctor to cure a pain in his ass. As the guy drops his pants and bends over, the doctor is disgusted to see his excessively stretched and prolapsed a$$hole (gaping almost 14 inches in diameter). Shocked, the doctor asks what the f#*k happened. The guy confesses he was at the zoo and an elephant raped him repeatedly. Feeling sorry, the doctor decided to try and help the guy by doing some research online to see if this had ever happened before. After a few minutes the doc turns to the guy and says... "something doesn't add up here. The internet says an elephant's penis is quite long but only 4 inches in diameter whereas your a$$hole is stretched almost 14 inches wide." The guy replies: "Well he fingered me first"



deds