stalest joke competiition

[rollingstock]

don't know if its a re-post


a p u s s y is the thing between a woman's legs.
a c u n t is the man who thinks he owns it.

That's not a stale joke!
That's the FUCK1NG truth!!!!!

[wheel whores]

don't know if its a re-post


a p u s s y is the thing between a woman's legs.
a c u n t is the man who thinks he owns it.

That's not a stale joke!
That's the FUCK1NG truth!!!!!

most jokes are

[lighthammer]

A famous heart doctor goes to give a lecture to a group of physicians from out of town. As he going to the auditorium there he says to his driver, "Ya know Jim, I really feel like the crap today, I wish I could get out of giving this lecture and just sit and rest."



Now Jim had been this doctor's chauffeur for 10 years, and he had a great relationship with the doctor. He say, "Hey doc. I could give the lecture for you."



The doctor chuckles and says, "Jim, I like you and everything and you're a great guy, but in all honesty, you don't really know about what I do."
Jim responds, "You're right, but I've been watching you give this lecture for the last ten years, I have the thing memorized: I could give it in my sleep! Plus, the doctors coming today are all from out of town, they have no idea what you look like, so they would have no idea I wasn't you."



The doctor really feels like sheit, so he sits back, thinks for a second, and says, "What the hell, I trust you, let's do it." So they pull over to the side of the road, change outfits, and the doctor drives the rest of the way to the lecture hall.



When they get there, a hundred prominent heart surgeons are sitting in the auditorium, waiting for the lecture to start. The driver walks up to the podium in the front, and the doctor sits in the back with the driver's hat on and looks around the room and thinks, "Oh god, what have it done! All of these doctors are famous and could squash my career if this lecture goes badly." The driver gets to the podium, coughs, looks around the room. and proceeds to give the lecture absolutely PERFECTLY! He hits every major point in the lecture, talks with eloquence and grace, and in general, gives the talk even better than the doctor ever did.



The doctor breathes a huge sigh of relief and then lays back in his chair and relaxes for the rest of the lecture. But then, as the lecture finishes and the lights go back up, a lump catches in the doctor's throat as he realizes one thing: he had scheduled this lecture with a question and answer session afterwards!



Among the visiting doctors, a couple of hands go up, and the doctor looks on in horror as the driver picks the hand of the most prominent heart surgeon in the entire country. He proceeds to ask the most complicated, detailed, mind-bogglingly complex question the doctor had ever heard after any lecture ever, and the room goes silent to see the how the famous heart doctor will respond.



The driver looks down and is silent for a moment. The doctor sitting in the back is petrified with fear; he knows there is absolutely no way the driver could possibly know the answer to this question: his career as a lecturer is over!



And then the driver looks at the surgeon that asked the question, points to the back of the room, and says, "Sir, That question is so ridiculously easy, I'm going to let my driver answer it."

[Chipz]

yuh mudda teeth so yellow she spit on ah chicken an curry it

[mitsu_chick941]

A young man wished to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note -- romantic, but not too personal.
Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he bought a pair of white gloves; the younger sister purchased a pair of panties for herself.

During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents first, he sealed his package and mailed it to his sweetheart along with this note:



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Darling,

I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears short ones that are easy to remove.

These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart.

I wish I were there to put them on you for the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.

When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.

Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night.

All my Love,
Hollingsworth

P.S The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.

[AYE_SOLDIER]

hahahahaha

[lighthammer]

^^ that's an old chain-mail letter, someone had printed it out and brought it to school for us to photocopy and send to 15 friends, etc. etc.

Back in the days before even hi5 was popular, hehehe.

[neocyst]

What did 50 Cent say to Dr. Dre when he gave him a homemade sweater for Christmas?

Gee, You Knit?

[~Vēġó~]

lord... ....lol

[K74T]

What did 50 Cent say to Dr. Dre when he gave him a homemade sweater for Christmas?

Gee, You Knit?

Bess u ask duane to change yuh username to neocystale yes

[neocyst]

Bess u ask duane to change yuh username to neocystale yes

Request sent!

[Bizzare]

^^ that was anything but stale to me hoss...lol

[Kasey]

^^me too.

[COROLLA KID]

whats brown and sticky?








a stick....

[jjcp]

^^^

[AYE_SOLDIER]

What did 50 Cent say to Dr. Dre when he gave him a homemade sweater for Christmas?

Gee, You Knit?

[mitsu_chick941]

A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It freaking hurts doesn't it!"








Two guys are in a strip joint, one is sitting in front of the other. A woman comes on stage and starts stripping. The guy in back, Paul, says, "Oh yeah, Oh yeah!"

Then the first guy turns around and says, " Hey Paul, shut up!"

Then two women come out and start stripping. Paul, once again, starts, "Yeah baby..mmmm....yeah!"

Once again the guy in front turns around and tells Paul to be quiet. So three women come out and start stripping. Paul is silent.

The guy in front says, "Hey Paul, where's all your excitement now?"

Paul says, "All over your back!"

[MG Man]

whats brown and sticky?








a stick....

[playerskrew]

Why Santa Claus don't go to the Desert...???????






Because it have no Raindeer........

[CS3A_GLX]

hahahha meow meow meow meow!

[sharkman121]

whats brown and sticky?



a stick....

soldier yuh win yes ... nobody else need compete after this

[geodude]

whats brown and sticky?








a stick....

man win right dey,

[bushwakka]

oh lardd.....what a bellyful

[COROLLA KID]

whats brown and sticky?








a stick....

man win right dey,

never won any thing before.
gosh thanks ...snort

[mitsuboi]

whats brown and sticky?








a stick....

man win right dey,

x2

[Kasey]

wat did one fish say to the other fish when they hit a concrete wall?



dam.....

[mitsu_chick941]

Everybody I know usually calls their dog Rover or Spot. I called mine Sex. Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me.

When I went to City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk I'd like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!"

Then I said, "She is a dog!!"

He said he didnt care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand, I had Sex since I was 9 years old."

He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the weddimg. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life, and my life revolves around Sex."

He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everybody would like having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand! Sex keeps me awake at night."

The clerk said, "me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, Sex ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around, and I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets.

"You don't understand," I said. "I hoped to have Sex on TV!"

He called me a 'show off'!

When my wife and I split, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married, but Sex left me after I was married."

The judge said, "Me too!!"

Last night, Sex ran off again, and I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said "I'm looking for Sex."

My case comes up next Thursday.

Well, now I have been thrown in jail, been divorced, and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why, just the other day when I went for my first session with my shrink, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?"

I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all of my life, but now it has left me forever, I couldn't live any longer, so lonely!"

And the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand sex isn't a man's best friend, so get your self a dog."

[ismithx]

Well what's the difference in kicking a man in their groin as opposed to a woman?


Suppose that the incident occurred in... Cuerepe.
If you kick a man there in his groin, you better be in port of spain by the time he recovers.










If you kick a woman in their groin, you better be in Caracas by the time they recover.......

[CS3A_GLX]

eh? stupes

[Kasey]

^^i dont get it.......