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Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to cope.

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby krisso310 » October 3rd, 2013, 11:01 pm

i going off topic a bit but just to show that cancer is one mean killer, we had this BIG dog (ridgeback/pot/pit.. idk what else he was mixed with) then we noticed he had a lump on his abdomen, not taking it seriously... it grew bigger over time, then it started spreading and more and more bumps came out... within a few weeks from realizing how serious it got, the dog got very weak and couldn't stand up properly (in his last days), couldnt even open his mouth.. and that was it...
This was a few years ago tho.

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby De Dragon » October 3rd, 2013, 11:53 pm

Stay strong bro, your story is a great example to people who feel that they have things tough when they really have no idea. Just today my mom was diagnosed with cancer, and I'll share your story and maybe she will draw some inspiration from you.

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby Death-Row » October 4th, 2013, 12:51 am

Scary story since 2 years now im having a pain in my neck accompanied by 2, what i think are lymph nodes the size of a pea or so. Pain comes on when im stressed, hungry or smoke too much. Sigh.


You really are a strong person bro and i hope you remember how strong you are. I've learnt alot so far from this post.

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby V8 Boys » October 4th, 2013, 9:56 pm

I got home at about 5pm that Friday. As I sat down in my favourite chair (my Aunty Camille bought it for me along with a new bed, because my old one just made me feel more pain...and the chair would come to be my "comforter" during those 6months) here's a picture of my favourite chair...
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This was where I spent the toughest hours.
Friday would pass with little pain...but there is very little I can say to describe how you feel when you know tomorrow is going to be hard.

I would get this overwhelming sense of dread after getting chemo for 5 days...let me put it this way: For the 5 days I was connected to those drips and every day from Mon to Fri...five (5) bags of those chemicals would be pumped into me...and when Friday came around and I was on my way home....I would have this awareness, that "IT" was in there...and there was NO WAY FOR ME TO ESCAPE THE EFFECTS.

There were times that the agony was so intense, that I had to take the pain-killers just to knock myself out...and that was no fun either...why? Because those drugs would only "dull" the pain. Even though I would eventually go to sleep at 2am (many times I would pass out right there on that chair) I would still be aware of the pain...almost like I was hallucinating. That was scary too.
There were so many times my wife would literally pull me out of that chair and help me get into our bedroom.....and then at 3.30am...I would awaken, my eyes wide open...sleep gone, I'm now wide awake and in pain again.

And this was just January, my first cycle...5 more to go.
Last edited by V8 Boys on October 9th, 2013, 8:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby kurpal_v2 » October 4th, 2013, 10:15 pm

De Dragon wrote:Stay strong bro, your story is a great example to people who feel that they have things tough when they really have no idea. Just today my mom was diagnosed with cancer, and I'll share your story and maybe she will draw some inspiration from you.




I wish her and your family the best mate.



V8 boys- I must say, I'm very envious of your wife, these days I meet so many young girls that give up on simple tasks so easily I couldn't imagine what they would do in your wife's shoes.

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby V8 Boys » October 4th, 2013, 10:52 pm

The 2nd week saw my bad feelings start to give me a break, and by the third week...it was back to NRC to get my blood levels checked to see if I was strong enough for my second cycle.

Just as we were getting ready for my return, my wife came down with Dengue Hemorrhagic Fever....she was flat out in bed. (see previous post and note below.)

During the entire 6 months, my wife brought me home, cooked for me, fed me, helped bathe me after the surgeries, got up every morning at 4.30 in the morning and blended beets, carrots and apples for me-to boost my blood levels, went to work, made groceries, fed the 7 dogs, 12 cats and 1 fish we had.....and now she needed me and I had to go back to the NRC. (Hey All, Wifey here. Cliff's memory isn't what it used to be, it's called "Chemo brain" - I got the DHF at the time of his first 5 day course in January with my symptoms appearing that day when we were in Mt. Hope for his brain cancer scare.)
Friends helped out with soup and my Dad brought paw paw tea to help with her platelets...and she was under the care of our friend/brother/Doctor Barios.

When I came back from NRC on Friday...she was a little better, but still not too well.
There is a scripture that says: "has one found a wife? One has found a good thing".

She was and is, my first true love, and the trials had only just begun....
CCE00000.jpg


It was just after I was recuperating from my last chemo session in July last year, that her Dad (pictured) died with her at his bedside. He was the man who "gave her away"...into my arms...I promised to love, provide and protect her for as long as I lived.

We will see you again soon...Jim Brow...soon.
Last edited by V8 Boys on October 9th, 2013, 8:52 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby V8 Boys » October 4th, 2013, 11:53 pm

Perhaps there are a few of you, who are wondering how much more is to come.

I must admit, as I proof-read these posts before I submit them, they sound somewhat depressing. And many might wonder how could anyone go thru stuff like this and not be bitter or shell-shocked.

In this life, there are many, many things that we will have gone thru and will continue to...til we die. As I have said, earlier, this post is not for me to "preach or push my beliefs" on anyone.

What type of person would I be though, if I kept it all inside and possibly go to my grave without helping at least one person to find comfort, or relief by my experiences. We are here for a reason....there certainly must be more to this life than living a few short, pain filled years and then return to the ground...never to return.

While I lay in that hospital bed for those 6mths, I saw many people with cancer...some young, very young, some old...many women and young men like myself. Some of them were so ill that they never left their beds....and the nurses would have to tend to their every need...feeding and cleaning them...right there in that bed.

I was able to move around with my drips, watch my dvds, read...and then go home every week.

Who am I to complain?

Richard, who lay in the bed next to me, had just 1 more cycle of chemo to take....I had just lent him my dvd player and he was watching The Last of the Mohicans...one of my favourite movies.

3 Days later, his Mom came in to see us....Richard had died. Just like that. He had been weakened by the chemo, and didn't bother to come to NRC for the booster shots we get when our platelets crash.

There were 8 of us in that ward, doing chemo...Richard's passing hit us all hard...one of us was gone.

I will continue to add to this thread as long as I can...sometimes I am tired..as I seldom go to sleep before 1am...because I still have a cyst in one of my kidneys that sends me to sleep in discomfort...and makes me wake up in pain if I stay in bed past 6am. So sleep is not something I look forward to...as I almost always wake up very sore.

Tomorrow I will tell you about my 4th and 5th cycles...and about those "so-called friends" of mine.

Sleep well friends.
Last edited by V8 Boys on October 6th, 2013, 2:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby redmanjp » October 4th, 2013, 11:54 pm

guys, got news that my uncle who had lung cancer died today :(

RIP to his soul

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby snypaz » October 5th, 2013, 12:59 am

I keep coming back to this thread cause it makes me feel so much better knowing someone out there somewhat understands what I'm going through. I have a serious heart condition and I understand what you're doing. May God continue to bless you.

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby ~Vēġó~ » October 5th, 2013, 2:00 am

man just yesterday after dropping my son to get his maxi to school at 6 a.m. I was returning home and was blown away by the sunrise and the general look of the morning, with mist through the trees....place was nice cool and serene...absolutely beautiful and humbling.....so many of us fail to appreciate what we have, caught up in this fast type of lifestyle....

keep strong and keep sharing!

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby RGF Asset Management » October 5th, 2013, 9:55 am

this thread is undoubtedly the most inspiring that i have come across. i look forward to the updates daily.

To clifford and all of my fellow tuners who may be facing challenges of one kind or another i wish you all nothing but the best.

God's speed.

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby V8 Boys » October 5th, 2013, 6:26 pm

The 4th and 5th cycles were by far the worst..as my body had been taking a beating from the previous cycles. I was down to 205lbs----from 220lbs. I was totally bald, pale and frail looking. One day, my Dad passed by to check up on me and when he saw me, he almost froze. My brother David, would later tell me how Dad said : "That's not my Clifford....he seems so frail!"

I knew how sad and hopeless my family and close friends were feeling, especially when they saw me in the daylight.

I never once let them see just how much I was in pain...except for my Mom and wife...and I always remained strong in my mind. I was always a strong minded person, never taking no for an answer and I knew that my faith in my God would carry me through...and even if I didn't make it, that I would have fought well and He, the Most High over all the earth, would bring me back in the resurrection.
So, you see friends, It is not that I was strong all on my own, nor did I for once feel that GOD HAD TO SAVE ME....as millions fall asleep in death every year. The hope of a resurrection, gives me comfort, so that I do not become overwhelmed with grief....fearing that I would die...despite my bravest efforts to survive cancer.

One night, I awoke with such a powerful feeling of anguish...(I'm starting to get fed up of using the word pain, plus I feel you guys hearing me use it so much must be frightening you even more about cancer) I got out of bed and walked into the bathroom, where I looked into the mirror. I stood there, looking at myself in the mirror...I was feeling so very sick.

My stomach was so upset, my head spinning, my intestines raw....I could not even drink water...it felt like acid on fire

At that moment, at 2.45am that Wednesday, I felt that I would not make it. For the first time, I felt that I might not see the sun rise.
I called out to my God, and begged him to help me.

Earlier in the day, I had bought some coconuts to help ease my stomach.....and my eyes fell upon them on the kitchen floor.
At 3am, I began opening one.

As I drank it, I felt a relief....I opened another and the jelly from that one helped the boiling within.
I went to my chair and nodded off...and at 5.45am, the beautiful warmth of the sun touched my cheek....I was alive. I walked to the back door and looked over at the field at the back of our house, the mist settled over the grass. The birds were whistling away and behind me, the comforting sounds, of my wife making me a cup of tea.
Last edited by V8 Boys on October 5th, 2013, 8:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby nareshseep » October 5th, 2013, 7:13 pm

Hang in there dude, positive thoughts all the way!

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby pugboy » October 5th, 2013, 8:03 pm

very good reading,

have you ever read Lance Armstrong's book ?
He might have been a sporting fraud but his first book was pretty good.

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby V8 Boys » October 5th, 2013, 8:29 pm

At last the day for my last chemotherapy session had arrived!

I forgot to give you guys some details about what would happen to my platelets every month. They would plummet.

Chemotherapy destroys all rapidly dividing cells, as you now know and it also uses up your bodies supply of red blood cells as well as the white cells too. What this does is cause your body to go into a dive...and if you take MORE chemo while your system is so low...you can die. Plain and simple.

So what the doctors do, is to give you 2 drugs that boost your white and red cells...Recormin for the red, and Neupogen for the white.
They would inject them either into my stomach or shoulder...right into the muscle...YEEEEOW!

At about 2 in d blinkin mornin' pain in meh bones! Yup, these boosters force the marrow in your bones to produce white cells.
This happened at least once a month. But what made it more troublesome for me was that I already had a BLOOD DISORDER that meant my blood count was always low...a "normal person's" platelet count would be about 175,000 to 250,000 and mine would USUALLY be about 54,000. As if it eh hard enough ent?

My count went to 22,000 one time and the nurses were goin bonkers....(people who have Dengue Hemorrhagic and whose count goes to 50,000 are immediately put on drips, or in some cases, given blood).

Well I had been as low at 18,000 when I was 12 one time and knew the ropes.....plenty protein, nuts, beets and I had to keep my tail quiet for a few days....
The nurses would always be worried, and as time went by and the doctors saw how I "managed" to walk the rope...they would just marvel. nobody takes chemo with a platelet count of 44,000 WITHOUT BLOOD...and lives.

What we did from early, was to build up my immune system as that is the first thing that cancer patients loose...their immunity. Our immune system is so compromised that you get sick just by people looking at you...or sneezing a mile away from you.
Not me, I never got the flu or virus from the day I started chemo....til now.

In Nov just before I started chemo I started taking i26...a Hyper Immune Egg supplement that a friend sold. It was expensive but it worked...then we found out about ESSIAC.

My mother in law sent us the info on it and sent us 10 bottles of it directly from Canada...it is ONLY made in Canada.
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I went on the maximum dosage of 8 tablets daily, along with Vit C, B12, Shark oil tablets, Genesis tonic and LOTS OF SOURSOP.
The soursop helped a lot with my stomach pain, and I also ate (when I could) lots of grapes, apples and bananas. As usual everybody was hailing SOURSOP as 10,000 times more potent than chemo...and this tonic and that herb, and if you peel this and boil that.

Folks....meanwhile natural remedies do have their place alongside traditional medicine....I can say that NATURAL REMEDIES ALONE CANNOT CURE YOU OF CANCER.

In my experience, you could eat a whole FARM of soursop...and still die of cancer...as well as get the best chemo treatment in the world, alongside Stem Cell treatments and be given the very best nutrition and doctors AND STILL DIE!

Cancer affects different persons differently and there are several variations and strains of each form of cancer. What may work well on one person may not work at all on another.

I can vouch for the ESSIAC though..it has kept my immune system high right through these 2 years.
Last edited by V8 Boys on October 9th, 2013, 9:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby IvanTerrors » October 5th, 2013, 9:24 pm

this post is like drugs i chk it everynight

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby i am an idiot » October 5th, 2013, 9:31 pm

Hey man. Keep the faith. God will help you through. Keep posting. Take care.

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby V8 Boys » October 5th, 2013, 11:15 pm

I was finally on my the last cycle...the journey seemed to take forever and I still had one more surgery to do.
Even though this was my last session, it was tough to muster the strength to go all the way through. After each torturous month, my body and mind pushed to their limits...it took fortitude and conviction to finish the course, while some who started the same time as me...were done already. (there was a month or two when NRC didn't have the Bleomicin, and we tried to get it privately, so it delayed my sessions sometimes)

But at least I wouldn't have to take all those needles every week, tests after tests, swollen veins and arms, the tons of tablets I would have to take every day, the severe pain in my stomach. I had come to "love my chemo" and the doctors and nurses at NRC.

Many became my friends, and even to this day, I still pass by to see them. They helped save my life. They have saved many and lost quite a few. They were always kind to me.
They also taught me how to help others...as many times over the months, I would get "new patients" asking me for help or advice. I remember seeing this 16yr old girl come in, she was wearing a scarf...so sad, she had lost all her hair already and was with her Daddy. Who was I to complain.

But I was done, at least for now....and I was heading home to recover.
That last session however would not be easy...the after effects lasted much longer than the others. Some of the side-effects I had to cope with were: Muscle loss, organ damage...my lungs took a beating from the Bleomicin...I would almost pass out just climbing a few stairs, my nerves were also affected...I found concentrating very difficult and then there was the neuropathy. That was the tingling in my feet and fingers, resulting in loss of feelings in my feet (there were times I would cut my feet or get a splinter under them and NOT even know I was bleeding)....and my sex drive...gone!

The sailor REFUSED to salute, nookie was non existent for most of those 6 months.
(Chemo destroys all your sperm and can interfere with your sex life)

Just when the "sailor" came back home, and the flag started to flutter 'pon d pole....it was time for my second operation.

This one however would be the riskiest of all and I would come close to knockin on death's door one more time.

to be cont'd tmrw night

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby SNIPER 3000 » October 6th, 2013, 1:16 am

Thanks, for sharing sir.

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby JoKeR1980 » October 6th, 2013, 11:09 am

this thread should be a sticky...

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby Goolie » October 6th, 2013, 2:24 pm

This to me is by far the best thread I have ever read.. good luck to u in your future endeavours.. as with many, I look forward to the updates..

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby V8 Boys » October 7th, 2013, 12:05 am

Wasn't feelin so hot these past few days and was about to hold up on OUR thread. But the bad feelings have given me a little ease. Tomorrow I should be getting the results from a Ct Scan I had 2weeks ago...been getting some pain in my back again and my docs wanted to make sure. Let's pray for the best.

Unlike the first operation, this one would call for some state of the art "clotting agents".

The report from Miami showed that my cancer had actually started in my testicles....and an ultra sound revealed that it was in fact my left testicle that was severely affected.
I had gone to the best Radiologist and Ultra sound technician in T&T> Dr Omar Khan.

The test would cost $800 and would only take a few minutes. He started out all talkative and was assuring me that the weird spongy-kinda-discomfort I was feeling was probably just a little fluid build up in the sack.

As he started to probe my "manly lobes"...he suddenly went quiet. Both he and the nurse became transfixed on the screen before them.

"Mmmmm, hmmm...uh huh...ok" was all he said.

He left the room and the nurse instructed me to get dressed and wait for the doc to give me the report. Well, 2hour-long-minutes passed by and he gave me his written report...in it he wrote: Left Testicle shows masses and an advanced state of metastisis. There is evidence of testicular seminoma and an infiltration within the scrotum.

He offered no suggestions, advice, comfort nothing. He was a professional who gave you what you paid for.

So we knew that that left "nut" had to go bye bye.

I had done the chemo already and all there was left to do was to remove the "source" or "primary". You see, there are only two (2) places in your body that chemo does NOT reach...one is your brain and the other is your testicles. Doctors call the scrotum area containing your testicles : "The Sanctum" of the body.

Trouble with me is, is that that surgery can cause blood loss ESPECIALLY if the surgeon cuts or tears a vein/blood vessel or artery...and believe me....it have plenty ah dat dong there!

But seriously, the risks were going to be huge with me...a walk in the park for most NORMAL men...but a potential bleeding issue for me. So, Dr Capildeo did his research and we did ours too and some of the Anti-Hemorraghic Drugs that had been proven to work on Bleeders like myself were : NOVO 7 & DESMOPRESSIN.
Novo 7 was the very latest "Factor 7 drug synthetically produced that stopped bleeding in Glanzmanns patients" in the US and Canada. Desmopressin was also quite good but wasn't as highly recommended by the US doctors.

Guess how much I needed and how much it cost....

I would need 6 vials, each vial costing $4000 US!

I had zero.

to be cont'd tmrw night
Last edited by V8 Boys on October 9th, 2013, 9:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby ismithx » October 7th, 2013, 3:10 pm

eagerly awaiting more bro

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby ADONI » October 7th, 2013, 3:52 pm

Real scary stuff bro, will keep you in pray!

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby ~Vēġó~ » October 7th, 2013, 7:57 pm

wayz sah....awaits next entry...

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby DVSTT » October 7th, 2013, 10:14 pm

~Vēġó~ wrote:wayz sah....awaits next entry...


X2

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby searchingone » October 8th, 2013, 8:39 am

Seriously, reading this thread makes me feel like I'm watching a movie. I don't want the story to end but at the same time, I want to know what happens next.

Write a book. Maybe it could help pay some of the bills.

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby uncle sam » October 8th, 2013, 9:09 am

You are a very strong individual, I must admit I have a really hard time reading your posts.. Stand still in faith and all shall be well.. I have had a love one diagnosed with cancer and that was not easy to deal with.



All the best bro..

..OP do yo have any means of receiving donations for your treatment?

I could give something small ever so often

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby bluefete » October 8th, 2013, 9:50 am

Wow. I wish all tuners and lurkers would log onto this thread and read it and then tell their friends and families to read it.

This is more enthralling than any novel I have ever read in my life and a HUGE, HUGE wakeup call.

God keep you and your family strong throughout this battle.

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Re: Living with Cancer... my pain, trials, and learning to c

Postby triniboy » October 8th, 2013, 2:21 pm

This is one of the best posts i have ever read on tuner. Thank you so much for sharing. I definitely feel your pain and would be looking out for your posts. Keep strong, Jehovah will guide you through.

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